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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have really felt i needed mumsnet support last night,even though i don't even know any of you?

29 replies

GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:22

my DD ran away......i had to call the police,call her friends etc....give details of last meal and dental practice address (being ex police i knew what those details were needed for....in case they found a body)

i live alone with my dc.......dp and i have fallen out because i found out at the weekend he'd cheated on me (kind of)......

my mum died few years back,best friend is due a baby anyday and was not answering her phone as she was in bed

i considered starting an 'asking for advice/hand holding' thread,but felt i should be doing something else,so didnt....i was shaking,crying in bits really. felt she was a bit suicidal. was imagining the worst.

i felt a bit silly about just needing some mumsnet support when really,you're all strangers .....wondered what the police would make of me being on my laptop posting here. but its the one place i can find answers,and really felt a pull....

AIBU??

OP posts:
going · 06/10/2010 09:24

YANBU

Is she home?

loopyloops · 06/10/2010 09:24

Why didn't you ask for our support? You would have had it in spades. (Relationships or chat maybe?)

Is she home yet? I hope you're both OK.

Take care, keep posting. :)

Lougle · 06/10/2010 09:24

If you are isolated, even if the internet forum is a bunch of faceless names, then it is a link with humanity. YANBU.

Is your DD safe?

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/10/2010 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ewe · 06/10/2010 09:25

YANBU

is everything ok now?

MumInBeds · 06/10/2010 09:26

There is a lot of power in knowing you are in the thoughts (or prayers depending on your beliefs) of many people. It's not unreasonable at all to want that at such a difficult time.

I hope your DD is now safe back with you.

piprabbit · 06/10/2010 09:26

That sound like an horrific thing to be going through. Of course you are not BU to want support - and MN is a great place to come as there is always some one around.

How are you doing today? Is there any news yet?

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 06/10/2010 09:27

I hope that your DD is safe and that you're ok.

Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:28

she came back at 1 am,sorry should have said!
police came back round and gave her a good telling off too.

now i darent carry out all my groundings/pocket money bans/internet ban etc for fear she'll go again!!

i felt embarassed to post here at a time of crisis in case anyone questioned it later on!yet i post here alot (used to be ILoveTIFFANY)

OP posts:
Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:30

muminbeds......we are in beds....only 7 officers covering bedford area last night,she took up 2 officers for over 3 hours. she was considered high risk (she's 14) and police helicoptor was about to come out to look for her!!

the police actually said to her that because of cutbacks there were only 7 officers available,i was shocked at that!

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 06/10/2010 09:30

What do you mean, we're all strangers?! Grin

Of course you were NBU - you would have had all of our support as well as practical help.

I'm glad she's back.

loopyloops · 06/10/2010 09:32

Really glad she's safe :)

Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:33

oh i know i'd have had the support BIWI....but i just felt silly.....bit awkward,especially to those around me. nobody 'gets' the pull of mumsnet in this house!

once i say 'i read on mumsnet....' everyone rolls their eyes!

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 06/10/2010 09:34

Ah yes. I have started to say 'I was talking to this woman recently, and she said ...'!

loopyloops · 06/10/2010 09:35

We all get that TT!

mistressploppy · 06/10/2010 09:37

YY about the eye-rolling, TT. I get that a lot. Glad DD is back.

MumInBeds · 06/10/2010 09:38

TopTulip I'm in Luton so I didn't hear the helicopter but I'm glad she was found.

I know what you mean about people not understanding. Does it help if I confess to being on facebook and twitter in labour right up to needing to push then again 5 mins after birth?

ben5 · 06/10/2010 09:39

my dh rolls his eyes to when I mention MN! but it's great and we all love it.
it's a place where there is someone always up and can give you a hug. you can tell your side of the story and don't get interupted. you then get some great advice!
glad your dd is safe. i'm not looking forward to those years!

Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:41

also,i have been on these threads before where someone is missing,or something is happening.....and know how frustrating it is when the op doesnt come back to update. i was fearing the worst for DD and felt i would never be able to come back to update. i also feared the troll calling that sometimes happens when op doesnt return.

OP posts:
Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:42

lol! yes,even in labour dedicated posters keep on posting!

the lure to be here is a funny thing!

OP posts:
Vallhala · 06/10/2010 09:45

So glad she was found safe and well. I recall you well, you're a fellow Chelsea fan. :)

My two girls are 13 and 15 - the 13 yo is somewhat... ahem... "difficult" and I feel for you. I'm glad you gain strength from this mad lot of argumentative buggers. :o

Wishing you all the very best, I hope you get all the support for a fast and happy resolution to your current difficulties.

Val

MaudOHara · 06/10/2010 09:49

YANBU to have felt you needed MN support - its fab.

YWBU not to ask - you would have had lots of handholding from those who ahve experienced it and those who hope they never have to.

So glad your DD is safely home

Original poster
GypsyMoth · 06/10/2010 09:51

thanks vall...DD in question is the massive chelsea fan,me too but not as big as her!

the photo i gave the police for her 'missing poster' was one of her in her full chelsea kit when she was club mascot for the day! they said they could cut John Terry out as she was posing with him!

hunting for a pic to give the police was hard.....had recent ones on my phone and comp.....but not any actually printed! we dont have them these days do we
i wanted to email one to the police,but they couldnt give an email address....and i had one taken last week in identical clothes to what she ran away in!! police ended up taking the pic on his blackberry from my comp screen

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 06/10/2010 09:57

I'm glad your DD is home - safe & sound.

YWNBU to have asked for some hand holding, not at all. Stuff the others in the house, do what you need to do. Not being a police officer myself I can but guess, but I think they'd be all for anywhere you'd get some support & help!

(It would have been good to mention that you were IloveTiffany - it would have stopped any questions of 'troll'?)

You can't stop giving her punishments/consequences or you will have one completely out of control teen. They crave boundaries (whilst pushing against them) as much as small children do - they need to know where they stand. Hopefully after the 'telling off' from the police, she wont run away again... mind you, it was more a storming off than a running away if she was back at 1am wasn't it :)

Do you know why she came back? or where she'd been? Do you think she cared about getting 'told off' by the police?

arfasleep · 06/10/2010 09:58

Pleased that your DD is back, wondered if you could ask for her to be referred to a 'mentor', one of my friends volunteers & think they find it really valuable, usually they become someone the teenager can talk to about things they may feel unsure of talking to family/ teachers about. Don't know whether they're put in touch through schools or soc services, can find out if you want. Sometimes it helps to know your DD/DS has a responsible adult (outwith family) they can turn to.

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