I will probably get flamed, but i cant eb the only one who struggles with this, can i?

[noda]

Or am i just a biatch?

Its other folks kids that i struggle with, not all of them, not all the time but i do find it difficult.

Im not and never have been a very great lover of children but something strange came over me when i hit 30, i became interested in them, facinated almost and actually enjoy spending time with them.

But i am unable to shake this discomfort and unease now i have my own and have to be around them more than i ever have. I dont feel relaxed or comfortable or even genuinely myself.

Just had a child for tea & to play after school with my son. The boy was so very different to ds in every way possible.
I was facinated to watch them together, same age, same class, very similar interests but the boy was, i found, rather hard work.

Do you all find that it comes naturally, or is it a monumental effort for any of you too?

nope.
I struggle with other peoples children too.
Even those I've known for a long long time!

Huge effort.

You're not alone. I have no interest in other people's children and even less patience.

Don't even try-just be yourself. As a DC I really hated adults who didn't know what to say but felt they had to try!

My face still aches from yesterdays play-date-rictus grin.

It's an effort.

no - I assumed everyone was like this.

small children are infuriating, and I find that being with my own uses up all of my reserves of patience, so there's none left for anyone else's DC.

oOOH - I struggle with other people's kids - nothing wrong with them but I struggle to understand where they are coming from.

I struggle when other kids are in my house. Playdates are a bit of an effort for me and I'm going to have to deal with sleepovers shortly. Agh.

you're fine!

personally i love kids, but it is entirely normal to feel as you do too.

I struggled to put up with my own never mind someone else's...

it really depends on the child for me. i get on with my friends little girl and probably spend more time talking to her than i do her mum, she's so old fashioned it makes me chukkle.
On the other hand i cannot be arsed with kids who always demand things and expect to get what they want even though they are constantly misbehaving or uncooperative (like my mums useless excuse of a partners son)

I can honestly I'm only keen on my own children, even my nieces and nephews (all from dp's side so perhaps that's why), I think because I have brought mine up one way and they have been brought up in a completely different way.

I'm scared of some of them tbh. It's absolutely not them, it is me (my own childhood experiences I think)

Not preschool dcs, but when they get to 5ish or so (this is probably going to sound mad) I worry if they are having a good time/think we are weird/find me odd etc etc.

On a more rational level I am fairly sure that I am not odd!

YANBU. I dont mind other peoples kids but some people dont.

Ahhh but i defo Do feel very guilty because its family kids as well, and its almost all of them. So many thanks 4andnotout, glad its not just me...

I dont mind having other children around for playdates or sleep overs, it often makes it easier if both of the children have a friend over.

Have to say it is much easier now (7 and 10) than when they were toddlers.

Although, some children I do find 'tricky' dont want to say that I dislike them, but some are just a bit more hard work than others.

Boy who came for tea, it was time to take him home, i asked him to put on his shoes, and he just calmly said "no".....

i was a bit taken aback as ds would never say owt like that... So i asked him again, said cmon, time to go...he did in the end but i was very very uncomfortable as i thought it may lead to stiff words...i am NO push over but jeez, the cheek, and the confidence to speak to an adult like that!! especially an adult he hardly knows

It depends on the child, some are much more engaging than others. Generally Ilike kids and find them easier than their DM's!

i spose, growing up in the 70's we just would not dare speak to adults in such a manner, you did as you were told and that was accepted so hence why i am so and why i struggle, its a generational thing i spect.

He just sounds like a particular PITA.

I struggle sometimes with my DSD's even though I do really care for them .

They are 3 and 5 and my youngest is 8 and my eldest 13 and I have been enjoying the more "independant" stage as it were.

Doesn't help that they make it 5 kids (with my 3) which can be a fucking stressful little chaotic.

I am going to hell.

Never invite other children on family outings, that spells doom.

It comes naturally now but it took a few years. I can still dislike their behaviour but i accept it now. TBH I find myself liking more and more children as mine get older - I pride myself that it because I have given my children good taste in friends

i quite like other peoples children. if they do something wrong (now here's the good bit) I don't have to feel responsible.

Another here who finds them a real effort. I dread DDs birthday parties, and there are only a few children I let her have round to play. Frankly a lot of them see being in a different house as carte blanche to be a shit.

I was really worried that I would be a useless mother as I don't particularly like other people's children. I was very surprised how naturally it all came. And I still dislike other people's children. Apart from largeginandtonic's brood. I love them.