I will probably get flamed, but i cant eb the only one who struggles with this, can i?

[noda]

Or am i just a biatch?

Its other folks kids that i struggle with, not all of them, not all the time but i do find it difficult.

Im not and never have been a very great lover of children but something strange came over me when i hit 30, i became interested in them, facinated almost and actually enjoy spending time with them.

But i am unable to shake this discomfort and unease now i have my own and have to be around them more than i ever have. I dont feel relaxed or comfortable or even genuinely myself.

Just had a child for tea & to play after school with my son. The boy was so very different to ds in every way possible.
I was facinated to watch them together, same age, same class, very similar interests but the boy was, i found, rather hard work.

Do you all find that it comes naturally, or is it a monumental effort for any of you too?

I think it's ok if you get to know them, with some it's easier than others. What I notice is that a lot of them just aren't used to talking to adults and get really uncomfortable, if you can get past that, you can have a little relationship with them and it's all a lot more manageable.

They are like anyone else-individuals! You can't lump them-some are easy to get on with and some are more difficult.

Aren't the British (with some British exceptions) characterised as disliking children?

I guess the majority go on disliking children (other than their own) after they produce offspring. Unsurprising - you don't get a character-transplant after childbirth.

I'm beginning to realise I am a national freak because I am quite fond of children.

maybe this is why being a step parent can be so hard. (nb I love my DSS but find it hard at times)

I find it very wearing, usually I like their choice of friends but sometimes you have to invite a child who is quite annoying. The one who came over and poured the contents of a vial from the chemistry set over the popcorn and watched everyone eat it was probably the worst though. Never mind, a short call to NHS Direct and the calming advice that it would probably be OK but to observe the kids every half hour throughout the night, then a google search that told me the substance was only mildly carcinogenic. Bless!! He hasn't been invited back

Me too animula.

Oh I quite like them in general (although I never planned to have any). Obviously DD is perfect in every way.

Left hand neighbour's children are lovely too but both sets of children on the right hand side (two house) are ghastly .

I blame the parents

I loathe sleepovers and am thinking of asking David Cameron to make them illegal or at least tax them.

There are a few children that I honestly adore, I also love the parents and just feel happy spending time with those few families. And I mean few.

i find it totally depends on the child. some people's children i love others i loathe....

so YANBU

Threads like this baffle and worry me.

I had no idea it was so common for parents to dislike children other than their own.

Children are people, I don't understand not liking them as a group. It's an intolerance some people are proud of, even though it isn't really much of a character endorsement.

I tend to like children (much as I tend to like people I meet), but I've found that since having my own I find them more interesting and have more to talk to them about.

I love my children more, but I don't think they are better or more important than other kids.

I hate the idea of them growing up in a world where so many of the adults they meet (their parents friends) dislike them.

This is a way our society is broken (if the thread is an accurate reflection of real life, which where I live it is not). It can only take a "village to raise a child" when the villagers are nice to children, think they are all important, and are happy to provide guidance to children not their own.

If adults in general are impatient of the young and just seeking advantage for their own to the disadvantage if other children, we're all fucked.

YANBU op, you can't really help how you feel. But it is not a good thing about you that you have this attitude, and IMO it's worth working on.

OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN ARE JUST SO UNPREDICTABLE.

LET'S FACE IT, CHILDREN ARE A PITA SO IF YOU DON'T LOVE THEM THEN ALL YOU ARE REALLY GONNA SEE IS THE PITA PART.

i dislike the company of other peoples children, but of course i wouldn't let the other person know or secretly pinch the child or anything.

I tend to have more sympathy and admiration for mothers with babies as this was a particularly horrific time for me.

I didn't do many children's parties, linger at the school gates, socialise with mums who have children the same age.

i did try to avoid being in situations with small children.

this partly has to do with the forced small talk with the childs parents too - i hate hat that.

Skidoodly, I think we would all hate the idea of our children being disliked by others. So it's up to us, as parents, to bring them up as nice people.

The ones you refer to (parents) who are seeking advantage of their own to the disadvantage of others, are the very ones likely to be bringing up the children we dislike anyway!

If someone told me they didn't like my daughter, I'd be having a long hard look at her behaviour towards others, and my parenting.

As others have said, children are people. No, I don't like all people. Some people behave in a totally repugnant way. So do some children. The child at dd's birthday party on Saturday who made another child's nosebleed, told me to fvck off and called me a "son of a bitch" and spat in the faces of every other child there...I'm supposed to like him? No can do. I can (and do) feel sorry for the way he's being dragged up, and I wouldn't have excluded him from the party, despite knowing from the start what he would be like) but I can't put hand on heart and say my cup ranneth over when he walked in the door.

You are not alone.
We had two friends of DS's here yesterday. They are a right threesome at school. One is an absolute joy, so easy, charming, funny, polite and I just love him to bits. The other is just not my cup of tea, not a terror or anything, but just a bit grabby and a bit "I want, I've got everything" which majorly turns me off.

For me it goes on a child by child basis. I cannot generalise, but some I simply don't have the time of day for them beyond the bare minimum.

Yes Bucharest, totally agree.

If you are one of those parents who thinks your children are wonderful and everbody else's are horrible, please don't ever invite my children to your home.

OK, maybe I should have said that I don't like looking after other people's children. I find it very stressful and hard work at the moment. I hope that as they get older it will be easier.

I don't mind talking to children, working with them or reading with and to them - I just don't want the responsibility of looking after them!

However, there were some pretty horrid moments at playgroup yesterday and I didn't enjoy it as I often have.

One of my DS's friends doesn't appear to have learned how to say please & thank you, usually argues with me when I ask him to do something (like put his shoes on!), and also on a weekly basis doesn't make it to the toilet on time although only in other people's houses, not his own (we're talking wee AND poo). He's 7 by the way! I really do struggle with him and find that I have to "act" warm & friendly towards him. I don't have this problem with any of DS's other mates, so I really do think it's more to do with their behaviour and how they've been taught to behave.

I've known a few like that knotty. They test my patience too. Can't stand very attention seeking kids. There was actually a perfectly serious thread on here once when one Mum said she thought it was unreasonable and unnecessary to expect children to say please and thank you, and she never bothered to 'force' hers to do it, which she thought was cruel - as they'd pick it up when they were adults, and where was the harm if children didn't say it?

I pointed out that 'the harm' was that everyone they came into contact with would think that they were hideous rude brats, and that she was a soppy twat with zero parenting skills.

I agree skidoodly. But then I tend to like most people so children are no different.

Maybe I am so laidback with children that I find it easier to enjoy being around them. I don't fret about mess and them doing mildly dangerous things, I don't intervene in all the little disputes that arise and I don't feel obliged to do things with or for them all the time. Largely I leave them to it. And they tend to like me too.

The gorgeous one we had over yesterday actually is so utterly divine that he still calls me "Mrs ABird". Bless him. I have told him that we've known each other long enough (2 years!) that he can just call me by my first name, but it is so engrained into him, that he still calls me Mrs ABird. No one else I know calls me Mrs, so it's rather sweet. Don't think he ever forgets a P and a Q. DS can stay friends with him as long as he likes!

Hence I absolutely adore him! Gorgeous boy, beautiful manners.

The kids I take on the school run however. don't get me started. Rude, obnoxious and utterly lacking in discipline. Mother is just useless, Father just shouts (and swears) at them. They just do/say whatever they feel like. I have had to stop the car on our journey several times to handle the behaviour. I have been close to saying "sorry, I can't do this any more"... I really don't want to crash my car thanks! Now they can all read well, it's got easier as they take it in turns to read on the way. Thank goodness, but any more than 10-15 minutes of them and I would probably lo(o)se it. That one is for you Fellatio

Thank you!