to think that by the time a boy is 16 he should have grown out of childish food foibles

[OrmRenewed]

and not be still refusing to eat vegetables.

DH's nephew btw. We went to SIL's 50th at the weekend Other SIL and her children were there and MIL. Nephew is DH's younger sisters youngest. He was never a particularly fussy eater but never keen on veg. Sunday we had a big family meal together. Nephew made a complete pig of himself - he helped himself to loads of meat and veg but his mum was still having to force him to eat a few french beans and one tiny carrot He then had another huge helping of meat and spuds.

I don't think that at nearly 17 any child should need their parents telling them what to eat and he should buck up his ideas and start to take responsibility for his own dietary health?

He's a bit of a porker btw but still growing and very tall so it doesn't seem so bad. But I'd be prepared to put any money on him getting seriously fat once he stops growing.

And no, of course it doesn't matter to me at all . But AIBU to feel that if my DC aren't able to take some responsibility for what they put in their mouths at that age I will be very disappointed?

My nan is a child minder who is well know for helping children overcome fussy eating habits.

She often uses the 'cut everything into tiny peices' and kids will eat anything. Honestly, I've seen kids who previously only ate hot-dog sausages & cheese strings devour full salads & sunday dinners that have been diced.

They also seem to do better if they see the other children eating well (& being praised for it).

For the younger children the "there's a big crow in the room after your food, you'd better keep an eye out" and when they eat a bit going "Oh no, that crows eaten some, where is it?" the children giggle & whenever you turn your head they have another bite & say "Look, Nanny - the crow's taken more." technique also works.

I'm ashamed to say, I sometimes cut salads into tiny peices before I give it to DH .

I still can't eat raw tomato but only because when I was little a friend's mother used to make me eat cherry tomatoes (which I hated) until one day I threw them up.

Urghh, just the thought of raw tomato with seeds is making me feel sick.

Some things do go deeper than just a dislike I think.

DH prefers meat and carbs to veg. Many people do. But he gets round it by eating the veg first and leaving the 'nice bits' till last. Hmmm. And DS#1 does it too now. Not everyone ca love veg but they can eat them,

I don;t much like tomatoes or spinach. But there are loads of other things I can eat,

notyetmummy, salads DO taste better when stuffs cut up small! much better than big lumps of lettuice and spring onions etc

The fact you've any memory of what your DH's nephew thinks about food is a clear cut case of BU.

Not eating the veg wouldn't have bothered me but if he was greedy and took huge portions of other things at the expense of others that's just plain bad table manners - nothing at the table should cause offence to others.

"but his mum was still having to force him"
That's the worst bit about it! How embarrassing for her that she treats her 17 year old son like that. Her fussing over the years won't have helped him develop good eating habits over the years, that's for sure!

Loads of adults are like this. Don't think it's that unusual.
I know a girl in her late 20s who won't eat sauce of any kind. When we go for a curry, hers is always the tandoori chicken on a stick and dry rice.

Yanbu, the boy and his mother are.

It's almost not about what he eats but he should have the good manners to not gorge and be discrete about what he's not having.

His mother sounds hysterical.

My 16 year old nephew came to stay with us from boarding school while he did work experience with at my DH's company. My DCs were much younger at the time, and I was OVERWHELMED by how much this boy could eat in a sitting, and how often he was hungry. He wasn't overweight, just tall and growing.

Though I agree this boy should have had the manners to not be overly greedy in company.

As for the veg, I still try to persuade my eldest and youngest to eat more veg at home (not a problem with the middle one, he loves it) but I don't hound the older one (nearly 18) if he wants to die of premature Pot Noodle Syndrome that's his look-out from now on, I've done my bit!

There are loads of adults like it! I know a man in his 50's in a very responsible job and he has the eating habits of a 6 yr old-e.g. you can count his full food repertoire on two hands.

I should say that his wife and 3 children eat normally and he gets his own.

I am with the posters who think that fussing about his food is probably an attempt to demonstrate independence. Sounds like he needs to do a lot of that.