to think that by the time a boy is 16 he should have grown out of childish food foibles

[OrmRenewed]

and not be still refusing to eat vegetables.

DH's nephew btw. We went to SIL's 50th at the weekend Other SIL and her children were there and MIL. Nephew is DH's younger sisters youngest. He was never a particularly fussy eater but never keen on veg. Sunday we had a big family meal together. Nephew made a complete pig of himself - he helped himself to loads of meat and veg but his mum was still having to force him to eat a few french beans and one tiny carrot He then had another huge helping of meat and spuds.

I don't think that at nearly 17 any child should need their parents telling them what to eat and he should buck up his ideas and start to take responsibility for his own dietary health?

He's a bit of a porker btw but still growing and very tall so it doesn't seem so bad. But I'd be prepared to put any money on him getting seriously fat once he stops growing.

And no, of course it doesn't matter to me at all . But AIBU to feel that if my DC aren't able to take some responsibility for what they put in their mouths at that age I will be very disappointed?

Er, yes Jenai, strapping young lads do need vitamins just as much as everyone else.

Dh was like this until I got my claws into met him.

I blame the parents

I can't help but feel a bit sorry for fussy eaters. They'll never have the fun of a great evening out at a restaurant. Sad.

Have you ever seen "Freaky Eaters"? A huge amount of people who are "fussy" as adults had feeding and/or emotional difficulties as children.

I gave up food when my sister was born . I was 7. I subsisted on white bread (no butter) and (cringe) baby food. My mother was quite ill after my sister was born and I didn't go to school for her entire maternity leave as the local school was 30 miles away. I don't remember any of this, but my mother told me that she spent most of the day in pain on the sofa and I had to 'mind' the baby, change nappies etc. I lost a lot of weight and was incredibly fussy about food, obviously in protest/an attempt to control my environment.

I gradually "got over" it, but by the time I was in university, I still had quite significant food aversions. I had never had pizza, I ate few vegetables. Over the course of my degree (probably coinciding with having more independence), I became more adventurous, though I still have a problem with tomato-based dishes, but I am working on it and have cooked a few curries with tinned tomatoes recently.

I never put the two and two together until I watched some Freaky Eaters and my mother filled in the details of when it was that I became fussy.. and it all clicked. So obvious! Luckily, I've long outgrown the underlying reason so it's simply a matter of deciding I will experiment.. but by all accounts, it can be quite a serious thing for some people. So I wouldn't judge, really.

DS1 has food issues probably arising from my slashing his diet when DS2 had to go gfcf

He has worked very hard to overcome it himself though and I am really proud of him.
He is a great strapping rugby type without an ounce of fat - and his first instinct is usually protein and carb ( but he does go for good carb ) but even he knows that he needs veggies and fruit etc too.
I have him on a vit and min supplement but he tries to eat all the many veggies I put in front of him

YAB a little bit U

I'm 26 and I HATE vegetables. I will eat a few peas and carrots with a mouthful of mash to set an example to my DC - who actually love veg - but thats it. Not a lover of fruit either! I'm a poor excuse for a vegetarian lol

At 16 he is old enough to know what he likes and doesn't like and his mother should stop fussing over him. Eatting veg with huge helpings of meat and potatoes isn't going to make him trimmer!

Don't worry pag, I am still improving in my mid-30's so if he's still in a position where you "have him" on a vit and min supplement I take it he's at home? Fingers crossed it will go in time!

And I love a fancy restaurant.

Let them eat cake. So long as it's carrot.

Surely that is what university is for? Send them there as fussy eaters and they come back eating virtually anything. It certainly worked for DS1 and am hoping that it is starting to work for DS2.

thanks arses.. yes he is still at home. I am carefully selectingthe meals he is learning to cook before he goes to uni

I like Lilys uni theory

I couldn't cook anything when I went to uni. I lived on pork pies and alcohol, it didn't do me any good.

I don't really see fussy eating as something to be judgy about - it just means that person is unlucky and doesn't like the taste of lots of foods. Hopefully their tastes will change as they get older.

I eat almost everything, but hate olives. If I were forced to eat olives I'd hate it. Now I imagine if all veg tasted like olives to me. I'd hate veg. That is the position some (unlucky) people are in.

Years ago I introduced a flatmate to vegetables. She was 20ish & only ate bread, meat & potatoes. She pulled faces around food & said yuk lots. She had been raised the last 12 years by her Dad & that had loads to do with it.

She is still my good friend 22 years later & will thanks me occasionally (when tipsy) for showing her the vege-light!

I am with Coldcomfortfarm....a 16 year old needs to be left alone...reminds me of the sketch with the woman wearing a huge kid in a baby Bjorn and saying he was 130 months old! There's a point when Mummy telling you to "eat up" becomes weird.

"There's a point when Mummy telling you to "eat up" becomes weird."

There's a point when mummy shouldn't have to tell you to eat up though isn't there? And that is the really frustrating thing - he doesn't have food issues in the sense of can't eat this and that - as a child he ate everything.

We eat really well - lots of veg, a little meat and fish, nothing processed...

At uni I existed for a year on cottage cheese and red wine and dh at 11-16 used to spend lunc money every day on a pint of milk and for Mars bars.

I suppose that I'm saying that teens eat pretty badly and that people change (not always for the better mind, my 75yo mother exists on a diet of jam butties and tea).

But maybe that's his way of showing independence now, OrmRenewed? I'd say it's quite common for teenagers to use food as a battle ground.. because your parents can keep you in and without cash and can ground you if you get a piercing, but unless they're abusive types, they won't force feed you.. but it may embarrass them and worry them?

My dh is like that, he does not eat veg, has to have chicken pieces chopped up and will not eat lentils or chickpeas. They dont grow out of it sorry. Have you ever seen Freaky Eaters on the TV, adults that have unusual food fads.

In our self-catering corridors at uni, people's eating habits were shocking. Many of the girls ate the same thing, day in day out, e.g. one girl always ate baked potatoes+salad cream+sweetcorn+cheese. A small number of us cooked varied meals. However, at least the girls' fridge was stocked with healthy foods.

On the boys' corridor meanwhile, the fridge was fairly empty, and the primary contents were... meat and beer .

My nan eats largely but battenburg cake, biscuits and tinned fruit. She has 1/2 a Weightwatchers meal every day but doesn't eat the veg. She is 100 :o

Think it is incredibly rude of the boy's mother to make a fuss like that at a social gathering. I wouldn't dream of doing that to a ten year old never mind a grown up teenager. I'd have been tempted to shove the carrot somewhere dramatic!

It strikes me as horrible to call attention to the food/eating of anyone at the table. MIL will single out vegan relatives while we are all eating happily together and start going on about how hard it is to cater for them. They are far more polite and tolerant than me as by now I'd have given her a chickpea gargle.

My friend's teenage daughter visits us regularly and is not a fan of veggies. We are, so she is simply served or helps herself to what she does like. I don't comment on it or make a fuss. She does like home made veggie pizza though which is good.

OH's DS stayed with us for two weeks over the summer, he was incredibally fussy with his food (wouldn't try a lot of veg that he hadn't tried before and wouldn't even eat Melon and he was really keen on cooking and cooking programs and wants to be a chef which perplexed me slightly - Got round him by taking him in the kitchen with me and getting him to help me cook - ate everything then

DH eats his meat & 'tasty' things first and then says that the veggies have "gone cold" and so he can't possibly eat them.

I go for "they're good for you" or "but I spent ages preparing them" or, if I'm a little annoyed, "get them down your neck you fussy child."

Eventually I leave him to it - if he wants to end up constipated & malnourished as he's not had the appropriate diet that's his problem.

Or I put cheese on everything .

DP THINKS he only eats green beans, carrots and tinned tomatoes. He does not seem to have worked out what's in the various soups I serve him. Blenders are wonderful things!

My sisters OH doesn't eat Veg and hes 37!!

On the other hand OH eats anything - maybe its all that time he spends in a submarine