to be really really sad.

[ModreB]

I had a Mirena replaced today. I know that another DC would be so not a good idea, but by the time this new one is due to be replaced, I will be nearly 50 yo. DH said that if I wanted to not have it replaced, just removed and we take a chance with whatever happens, he would be OK with that, but I just feel so sad, as my head says no more but my heart says something else.

I also feel a bit silly for being sad, as I know that even without the Mirena my chances of conceiving are minimal, but it's the strangest feeling, and I just feel sad and useless.

I am so grateful for the children that I have, I was told that I would probably never be able to have children in the first place, but then, with help, did do.

I must admit, I do feel a bit of a prat for being so upset, and I don't really understand why I feel like this.

I will have to sit down with a cup of tea and tell myself off for being so mardy arse.

Why don't you do as your DH says? THen if it doesn't happen you will know it's not because anything you did and it might be easier to accept...?

Well, I have the degree, and I am learning to sing, so it will just have to be write a best selling novel.

Lemonade - the Mirena was originally for really heavy periods as well as contraception. My gynae history is horrible, so unless I am SURE that I want another, I dont really want to go back to that.

I suppose I am just feeling that I am getting older.

needafootmassage - but do you think you have more time on your own now because of the singing

..sorry couldnt resist.

I felt the same when my husband had a vasectomy.

A sadness for something that´s not going to happen again, even though you don´t want it to anyway.

It´s a phase of life that has ended.

Modre :( you aren't being a prat or a mardy arse - not at all.

What do you want - do you want another baby? That's the only question really isn't it (as DH has said he's happy to go ahead and see what happens).

ModreB, I feel that way too. I know all the things that people have posted, but I feel sad, too. I'll join you in the creative writing class.

Pixie - good luck, i hope you end up with as many dc as you'd like, despite your dh being away.

agree with diddl ,hubbie had a vasectomy when i was 30 and he was 33,now our youngest of 4 is nearly 7 ,we both would like another baby,its very sad ,but it is for the best,we can only afford a 3 bedroom house,3 doubles mind so they can share but they do take up a lot of time, love and money and where would a new baby sleep???if we won the lottery on the other hand hubbie would try to get it reversed.
op- im only 35 with no chance of having another baby so ill cry and have a cuppa with you too,

modre - I don't blame you. I am 45 and in the throes of the menopause. I have 3 children, one more than we intended , and I would hate to have another baby. But that doesn't stop me having a sneaking feeling of regret that they choice is being taken away from me.

I keep on thinking about all the things that I can do now that the DC's are growing up. But, like ddil says, it's feeling sad for somethng that won't happen again, whether or not I actually want it to iyswim.

I know that it's not logical, but then I never claimed to be logical.

I feel a bit like this, even when I have two screaming children, my section scar is hurting, my SPD is playing up and we have no money. It is just a door closing. It is hard.

(I'm 25 and DH is having a vasectomy soon)

Or on the stage - needafoot - the last one leaves at 11 o clock.

BOOM BOOM

That's the thing though, I would love to have another one but it just isn't practical. My health for a start, means that it would not be a good idea, money, space, work, childcare, etc etc etc.

BUT - even looking at the practicalities, and knowing that it is the right thing doesnt make it any easier.

Understand you when you say " it's feeling sad for somethng that won't happen again"