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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that working in a care home actually meant caring?

84 replies

showmewine · 04/10/2010 23:49

I have worked in a care home part-time for nearly a year. The shift pattern fits around me being a SAHM mum, I do one 12 hour overnight shift a week. I thought that working in a care home meant actually caring for people but this has been a bit of a rude awakening....I get spoken to like i am a piece of sh*t both by senior staff and by my colleagues, everyone who works there is terrified of losing their job, we are constantly understaffed, ridiculous rules are made and then changed at the last minute and three times in the past month i have left the shift and cried, i have senior staff watching my every move and everytime i make a decision i am told it was the wrong thing to do....
Was i just really naive to think i could make a difference?

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 04/10/2010 23:50

Yes. Sorry.

SheWillBeLoved · 04/10/2010 23:53

Yep, sadly. Far too much red tape in this line of business for it to ever be as caring as it should be.

thelunar66 · 04/10/2010 23:53

I've worked in a care home too... although many years ago.

Yes you can make a difference as you make your way up the food chain. I was Night Sister and changed a lot of things, despite being only 23 at the time.

It can be done.

Original poster

showmewine · 04/10/2010 23:54

oh dear
i think i saw it as a stepping stone to a job in the NHS

i am re-thinking now and might go back to office work

i have never felt so fricken miserable about work in my life and i am only there once a week!!

OP posts:

SheWillBeLoved · 04/10/2010 23:59

It's a tough job, it really is. People go in with great expectations, but you're soon dragged down by the legalities of it all, not to mention the horrendous staffing issues that most care homes have to deal with. There simply isn't enough time to care. As said, the further down the food chain you are, the harder it is. But let me tell you that even being near the top, things aren't that much easier. It takes a special sort of character to stick at this sort of job. You have to do it because you love it, because you care, because you don't care how shit things are as long as you make that tiny bit of difference to even just one person a day. If you're not in it for that, chances are you won't last very long at all. Hence the staffing issues.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 04/10/2010 23:59

Decent management might make a difference, (I never encountered it when I worked in the "care" sector, but I trust it's out there somewhere) but if your life is a misery for the sake of 12 hours a week, go back to the office. Or the checkout at Tesco. Either would probably pay as much (or more) and you don't have to take the shit.

HeathcliffMoorland · 05/10/2010 00:02

It depends on your definition of making a difference.

Could you make things more comfortable/dignified/personal for individuals? I believe so.

Will you change the system from the inside? No.

Based on definition one, I don't think you were naive.

Original poster

showmewine · 05/10/2010 00:04

i hate it i really do
i could do the job if i could just go in do what i have to do and leave

problem is that the job i had b4 baby i had almost total autonomy in fact my manager was in another town! this job i have someone on my case all the time

everyone working there is paranoid so much so that some of the staff thought we were being watched by CCTV!!

yucky
got to get out

OP posts:

muffint · 05/10/2010 00:06

I've worked in one too as a Care Assistant and my experience was much the same I'm afraid. It is a good way of earning money whilst DC are small in that you can do 12 hours in one stint. I also worked in a hospital which was not much, but slightly better. Yes, agree get treated like crap and work like a dog. I think the final straw for me was when the new manager decided I should be "Fire Officer" one day. I'd been bumped off fire training three times due to lack of staff - as you probably know this involves a horizontal evacuation procedure in the event of an emergency which I was in no way equipped to perform. Ended up having an argument with her and left shortly afterwards. I think the kind carers do make a massive difference to the residents having said that. My friend and I both left around the same time. She does childminding now and I do typing from home. I don't think these places will change. Have you thought about doing something else?

ornamentalcabbage · 05/10/2010 00:06

You have probably already made a difference, just by being kind, cheerful, professional, and spending time listening to the residents. Is it an option to change your job now you have almost a years experience under your belt? Either to a different care home, a nursing home, hospice or hospital? Any of these may need night staff, or could you join a bank?

WhyAyeButterPie · 05/10/2010 00:10

I used to do that job. I was told off by the bosses for sitting talking to a scared old lady who had dementia instead of dozing in the lounge with the other staff. I was told off for taking the time to help people keep their dentures clean. I was disliked because I asked somebody not to discuss somebodies life expectancy over the person in questions head. I was yelled at for helping an elderly gentleman to get dressed when he asked to and not in his "slot". My own grandad was in tears because they insisted he got up at 6am instead of 10am like he is used to. A memo came from head office to say we should use less pads. People were changed into nightclothes mid afternoon. Residents were treated rudely if they went to see friends and then needed help undressing slightly later than normal.

I stuck at it for three years, and then gave up :( The bosses (and many of the other staff) were more bothered about ironing knickers so the drawers looked nice when relatives visited than actually caring for the people who lived there.

My grandad is in another home now (he just couldn't be managed at home- he was living with my mum who specialises in dementia care and manages a team of community nurses so she was distraught) and I hope to god they are good to him. They seem ok when we visit, but that doesn't mean much. :(

ornamentalcabbage · 05/10/2010 00:10

You may be happier somewhere that is better managed. If it doesn't work out then you could look at doing something else. I know it's a tough job but there are some well run places out there.

greenbananas · 05/10/2010 00:13

I worked in a care home throughout my university years (about 15 years ago). It was completely crap and I have vowed that no relative of mine will ever go into a similar home.

If you are able to cope, and to make a bit of difference in people's lives without going completely crazy yourself, then go for it. But it's hard, and you might need to be tough.

Original poster

showmewine · 05/10/2010 00:14

ornamental cabbage love the name

that is good advice

i have received some good training i.e. manual handling, COSHH, Pova/Sova etc. and would be a shame to waste my knowledge i quite like the idea of 'community care officer' or physiotherapy assistant although haven't seen any of those jobs pop up
that is food for thought

i will try my hardest not to put my parents into a place like that :-(

whyayebutterpie three years is a long time good for you for sticking at it that long!

OP posts:

ornamentalcabbage · 05/10/2010 00:16

WhyAyeButterPie, I know these places exist as I have worked in one, and I'm not naive but some people that work in this industry are evil. so for your grandad.

Original poster

showmewine · 05/10/2010 00:17

am not tough at all
am wobbly like a jelly and that is part of the problem

if i pack in working there i might volunteer a few hours a week

OP posts:

Tarenath · 05/10/2010 00:20

I used to work in a care home. Sadly your experience is mirrored in many care settings. Where I worked there was a lot of backbiting and we were very poorly paid and treated. The standard of care was also very poor. In the end I left the care home to work in the community care sector. I had much more autonomy and enjoyed it much more even though it harder work and longer hours for not much more money.

Original poster

showmewine · 05/10/2010 00:23

glad i posted
it shouldn't be called 'care' should it?
its not care at all

OP posts:

happyteetotal · 05/10/2010 02:06

This makes me really sad. I start a job in a care home in a few weeks because I need something in the health area that fits in with studying to do nursing. I'm terrified that when I start the people aren't really there to care for older people. I want to specialise in dementia however have already been told/warned that my expectations are too high and that nobody really cares, or gets worn down after a while.

I hope this is not true and if you only do 12hrs per week and make a difference please don't stop, the care sector really needs people fighting from the inside and making a difference however small it may be. It really worries me that so many homes do not care about the people they look after and seem more concerned with an easy life. The money is awful and the shifts often unsociable but I really hope it will be worthwhile. Or am I being naive!

Miasma · 05/10/2010 02:34

I've worked nights in a nursing home for 5 years, 2 nights a week. I also did a 5 year stint 15 years ago so am pretty experienced.

Not all homes are bad and not all care staff don't care. The home I work in is great, 80% of the staff are lovely and we ALL care it is unfair to say we don't. I worked in a home years ago that was like a prison.. They even fed people gruel! Needless to say I didn't stay there long and therein lies a problem.. Decent staff won't stay somewhere unpleasant, they'll move on so some home get the dregs of staff and a useless manager.

We get paid £5.92 to work like dogs, take abuse and for the most part, clean up poo. The company I work for make millions of pounds profit a year but keep us short staffed and refuse to give me paid breaks ( yet tell me I an not allowed to sleep during the hour I'm not paid for) they are money orientated 100%..

Elderly people shouldn't be a commodity.

Original poster

showmewine · 05/10/2010 15:31

I am going back in on Friday
My DH says to say something to the Manager but i think i will get sacked. The Manager is not concerned about lower echelon staff i think we are just supposed to get on with it. I would get on with it if i wasn't being hectored every five minutes. Note to self: I must look on the Quality Care Standards website to see how they check out.

To happyteetotal I don't want to scare you but dementia 'care' is really really hard. Have you had a chance to either look at the Dementia Unit in a care home or go and see a dementia ward at your local hospital?

OP posts:

GetOrfMoiLand · 05/10/2010 15:40

My christ.

What a depressing read. How sad this is that people are treated so poorly.

Moral of the story - be bloody nice to your kids so you don't end up in a place like this.

OP - feel sorry for you, sounds like a horrible situration to be in.

pagwatch · 05/10/2010 15:46

This thread is why DH and I stuff every penny we can away so that one day, hopefully, DS2 won't be at the mercy of disenchanted or disinterested staff and a mangement putting profit before care.

This is the stuff that wakes me up in the night in a state.

Who will care for DS2 when I can't anymore

Rosedee · 05/10/2010 15:50

I worked in a care home at weekends when I was in sixth form. I loved it, we always did our best for the residents. Don't know what it's like now at all, I suspect it's gone downhill as I know they got new management several years after I left. I cried buckets when I left that job.

GetOrfMoiLand · 05/10/2010 15:52

Pag that must be an awful thought.

Treatment of elderly and/or vulnerable people makes me very sad. And frightened.

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