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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU? What is it going to take for MIL to leave my belly alone!!

69 replies

DetectivePotato · 03/10/2010 18:28

This is not a MIL bashing thread, it just happens to be that she is the only person doing this and it seriously pisses me right off.

I am 21 weeks pregnant. When I was pregnant with DS, she would always rush up to my belly and jiggle it. I would subtly try and turn away. It never worked. Or if she said "oh is the baby kicking?" I would say "no" and put my hand in the way as a hint but she would still come and jiggle anyway.

This time I was 13 weeks and not really showing and she was giving my belly a good rub (not a gentle little pat or anything, which still would have annoyed me). I said to DH that I don't like it and I would prefer if he said something as I don't like to.

Today they came over, I was upstairs at first having a lie down. I had to get up when I heard her saying to DS (2.8) "oh you don't want another boy, 1 is enough, you want a girl this time (yes it is a girl, but so what if it had been another boy). When I came down, FIL got up to come and give me a hug. MIL came over and I knew what was coming. Didn't help that I was shattered as we had taken DS swimming this morning. She hugged me and as she does puts her hand to the front and starts feeling my belly. Before she has been very open about it, but it was like she was trying to hide it. I said, very calmly "can we not do that please" She looked down, laughed and started having a really good feel. FIL told her not to do it, DH said he had already told her before I came down and I again asked her not to do it. Did she stop straight away? No, she carried on for a bit but then couldn't ignore the fact that 3 people were telling her to stop. She seemed to think it was funny.

I am not a very touchy, feely person anyway and I hate people in my personal space. Its the way I have been brought up and everyone in my family is the same (I am very different with DS as I don't want him to be like this). But AIBU for not wanting my body to be felt like this?

OP posts:

Mumi · 04/10/2010 00:10

Just slap her face arse hand.

Original poster

DetectivePotato · 04/10/2010 09:50

I do love these suggestions and have great fun imagining me doing them.

I asked DH last night if he thinks she has got the message. He said no as she doesn't listen.

Definately going to have to use something from this list!

Thanks Jareth. Everytime I see your name I want to go and watch Labyrinth!

OP posts:

ChaoticAngel · 04/10/2010 11:54

You could always refuse to see her. Don't visit her, go out if she comes round to yours/refuse to let her in. That might just make her listen.

everythingiseverything · 04/10/2010 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

olderandwider · 04/10/2010 12:11

Glare, say menacingly "I told you not to do that again" then give her a hard pinch.
A little pain may get her attention....

diddl · 04/10/2010 12:42

Oh I would hate this tbh.

Don´t think even my mum did it unless I asked.

I think yes, move her hand away & say you know I don´t like it-why do you keep doing it?

susitwoshoes · 04/10/2010 12:50

what would you do with you DS if he repeatedly ignored you? Treat her in the same way, as a naughty child who is ignoring a request. And tell her what a bad example she is setting to DS, and that you'd rather she stayed away until she got understands that. She's being quite extraordinarily rude.

NordicPrincess · 04/10/2010 12:52

grab her arse or boob and see how she likes that every time you see her !

Shiregirl · 04/10/2010 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TastesLikePanda · 04/10/2010 13:47

Train her like you would a kitten - keep a squirty bottle of water in your pocket and spray her in the face when she does it!

For that real 'element of surprise' you could get DH to do it...

BigOfNoorks · 04/10/2010 14:14

My family have a terrible habbit of pinching your bum or boobs if they spot you and you don't spot them. We are a very touchy feely family but these are people I have invited to touch my body and even they don't touch my belly without invite.

DP Brother used to, he also used to try to tickle my stomach while actually hurting me and after being asked to stop I grabbed his ball sack and squeezed and told him to keep his hands to himself if he wanted me to worked a treat. Grab her boobs and jiggle them.

anyabanya · 04/10/2010 15:14

what Dawnybabe says,,, why are we so scared toi hurt peoples feelings who have no interest in not hurthing ours?

Very odd.

Saturday night we went out to the pub with some friends. When I got DS his bottle, DH;s mate (in his 60s ffs) started going on and on and bloody on about how he wished I was feeding him, but he would 'want the real thing'. His wife was mortified, but said nothing. DH was horrified and said nothing. I was shocked and embarrassed and said nothing.

Wish i had told him to fuck right off now. I wish I had the guts.

I hated being touched when pregnant.

anyabanya · 04/10/2010 15:16

Sorry for typos. I wish I would learn to proof read before hitting enter.

Tokyotwist · 04/10/2010 15:32

Slap her hand away. It's the least confrontational while still making it obvious she needs to move. Bit embarassing for her as well as it's the sort of thing you'd do to a child if they're touching something they shouldn't.

I've a guy at work who is all touchy feely. I hate it and actually screamed out the other day for the whole office to hear, "Don't touch me"! Had everyone around laughing but unfortunately, he still hasn't got the message. What on earth is it with people not understanding personal space . Creepy.

Pixieonthemoor · 04/10/2010 15:37

Ugh this makes my flesh creep just thinking about it ....I can be touchy/feely when I want to be but am also keen on my personal space. Your bod, your rules but I doubt that the subtle approach is going to help given that dh and fil have already told her to stop. I think a bit of shouting and slapping away of the hand is in order. Am going to have to stop reading this thread now as it is making me weirdly squeamish.

bundle · 04/10/2010 15:41

just say to her "if you do that again I will bite you"

and then bite her, hard, as she may only understand non-verbal communication

Original poster

DetectivePotato · 04/10/2010 19:45

I never thought about the fact that I wouldn't allow my DS to continuously do something he was being asked not to do. Thats a good point.

I love the spray in the face idea. PMSL!

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 04/10/2010 19:47

eeeeuw, you have to stop her doing this

I would just look her in the eyes and say "I really, really don't like it when you do that"

but I can't imagine what I would do if that didn't work

yuck!

tb · 04/10/2010 20:43

As well as grabbing hold of her wrists tightly and painfully, I would also point out very firmly that you are sure she doesn't want to assault you, does she?

I used to work with someone who was an invader of personal space and time. He would always lean forward and touch me on the arm. One day, being very pissed off - as were several of us - I asked him to please not touch me again unless he had my parents' written permission. I'm glad to say that he never did it again.

Good luck!

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