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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to be told what my sister has named her baby?

36 replies

asouthwoldmummy · 01/10/2010 19:19

My sister had a baby girl on Monday. We get on quite well but aren't overly close (mainly because she is 8 years older and moved out when I was 9). DH and i visited her in hospital on weds but she still didn't have a name.

I have logged in to facebook tonight and read her announcement about having had the baby, including her weight and her name. This was put on facebook at 3pm and I haven't heard from her today, despite texting her this morning to ask if there was anything i could do now she's home.

I know I'm probably being stupid but I feel a bit put out that she didn't bother to tell me her name and that I found out on facebook. When I had DS I would never have dreamed of broadcasting what I had named him without my family knowing first.

OP posts:
Rockbird · 01/10/2010 19:20

I'd be mightily pissed off. I have nothing against, FB, I use it loads and love it, but you tell important info to close family and friends first before announcing it to the wider world. My bother would get a piece of my mind if he'd announced his children's names on FB first.

newgirl · 01/10/2010 19:23

I would imagine that with family you think you have to call and make time for a 'proper chat' whereas facebook is a very quick thing, so I would think that she prob plans to get round to calling you when she knows she has time.

Perhaps the thing to do is call her and say 'fab name etc etc' and just keep the call short as I am sure they are tired out

ps i keep thinking of moving to southwold - is it fab? what do you do on a rainy day?!

zapostrophe · 01/10/2010 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
asouthwoldmummy · 02/10/2010 15:11

Newgirl - I have started a Southwold thread in the UK travel section, I have tried to give an honest answer there. If there's anything else you want to know just ask!

OP posts:
Firawla · 02/10/2010 16:39

i think yabu you may be overreacting a bit, as someone said fb is v quick way of telling everyone. im sure she didnt mean any offense to you

proudnglad · 02/10/2010 16:45

Facebook

Sisters

Byeeee

Heracles · 03/10/2010 03:43

Jeez, cut her some slack.

AngelsOnHigh · 03/10/2010 04:13

What did she name the baby?

Rockbird · 03/10/2010 04:29

Really Heracles? Wow my family must be weird then. The shit would hit the fan if someone did this.

ClimberChick · 03/10/2010 04:33

YABU

YunoYurbubson · 03/10/2010 05:08

YABU if you expect a new mum to take time out from the overwhelming first few days to phone a sister who she isn't even that close to, to tell you something she knows you already know because she put it on Facebook. It's not like you're there taking round lasagne and offering to hold the baby while she has a shower. If you were you would have already known the baby's name. If you're going to be a b-list source of support to her then you get to find out the name with all the other b-listers. Nothing wrong with that.

massivemammaries · 03/10/2010 05:18

YABU different if you said "what is babys' name?" and she said "not telling you" or "look on facebook"!!!!

get a grip girl

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/10/2010 06:21

YABU. Texting? give her a ring, it doesn't take too long. Facebook is IMO, the work of the devil.

Rockbird · 03/10/2010 06:38

DH didn't see his sister and her baby for a fortnight for one reason or another. She still had the courtesy to ring him and tell him the name she'd chosen because he's her brother. He didn't have to pay for the privilege with lasagne Hmm. Bloody hell...

echt · 03/10/2010 06:42

I'm going to up the Facebook shite by saying that my brother now puts all announcements on Facebook, when I don't have an account.

I have a mobile, a landline, two email accounts...oh, and an address.

Original poster
asouthwoldmummy · 03/10/2010 09:26

I have a 2yo DS, my sister lives 15 miles away, I don't drive and the buses to where she lives are pretty crap, so unfortunately visiting her isn't that easy! We are close enough that I made sure I visited in hospital though.

I know it's hard with a newborn but funnily enough I made sure anyone important knew DS's name when we chose it! I would only have taken 1 minute for her to send a text.

OP posts:
bundlebelly · 03/10/2010 09:33

I just don't get how people are so 'me me me' at these times. She has just had a baby!!! Her and her partner are full of every possible feeling there is. Such a special time for them, don't spoil it with your petty concerns over who was first to know name. It really doesn't matter! Just be happy for them and cut them some slack.

SoupDragon · 03/10/2010 09:38

YABU. You're not close.

Each time I just told my mother and she told my brothers/sister-in-laws the name.

Tori27 · 03/10/2010 09:44

I told my mum and DH told his mum and we left it to them to tell everyone - really had other things on my mind than worrying about family politics.

I doubt it was an intentional snub so get over it!

DanceInTheDark · 03/10/2010 09:49

as someone else has already said, facebook is a very quick way of telling lots of people all at once. We all (in our family) use it but we do speak to the people that don't have it too.

2rebecca · 03/10/2010 11:01

It took us ages to decide on a definite name for firstborn. When we eventually decided I really can't remember the order in which we told relatives. They knew it was x or y. I didn't see it as that big a deal. A name is just a label.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 03/10/2010 11:05

I'd be annoyed, too. Luckily, I have no siblings.

crisproll2 · 03/10/2010 11:45

YANBU. I would be hurt too.

ragged · 03/10/2010 12:01

YABU.
She gets married, gets pregnant, has the baby and names it and never informs you about any of it. All that together would make me feel left out.... but a few days gap in putting out formal announcements of the name?

Did you expect her to inform her family first and foremost when she was pregnant/engaged/passed her A-levels etc. too?

withorwithoutyou · 03/10/2010 12:06

How come your Mum didn't tell you the baby's name? I would'nt expect her to phone me to tell me that babies name, but might expect to find out via someone else in the family.

DOnt' think it matters really though does it?

My Mum got the knock because we texted a group text to a big list of people after DD2s birth and I included my cousin on the list. So my Auntie found out about DD2 before my Mum had a chance to tell her.

I can't say it bothered me in the slightest tbh.