To expect to be told what my sister has named her baby?

[asouthwoldmummy]

My sister had a baby girl on Monday. We get on quite well but aren't overly close (mainly because she is 8 years older and moved out when I was 9). DH and i visited her in hospital on weds but she still didn't have a name.

I have logged in to facebook tonight and read her announcement about having had the baby, including her weight and her name. This was put on facebook at 3pm and I haven't heard from her today, despite texting her this morning to ask if there was anything i could do now she's home.

I know I'm probably being stupid but I feel a bit put out that she didn't bother to tell me her name and that I found out on facebook. When I had DS I would never have dreamed of broadcasting what I had named him without my family knowing first.

I'd be upset by this I think. but my sister went in a monster huff with me because I called her at 9 am the day after DS was born - at 11.30pm. I'd called my parents at 1.30am (mainly as they'd know I was in labour 2 days previously, and were worried sick - DH had about 30 missed call from them on his phone!) and thought I'd let the rest of the family sleep, then call them in the morning (or let DH do it). So duly called my sis, told her the vital stats, and she huffed "why didn't you call me last night?" then hung up on me. Family are odd.

I must be very weird as I would expect to hear my families news first as they are always the first people I want to tell if anything life changing happens to me.

Different people have different relationships/expectations of their family so I suppose it is down to what the family dynamic is.

When my DN had her confirmation and I wasn't told about it I was hurt. I probably chatted to friends about it but wouldn't have said anything to either my DB or SIL who are lovely people but majorly scatty.

Anyway I am prejudiced as I believe facebook as an absolute menace!

Sorry but YABU.

In my mind, there's no difference between sending you a text to multiple people and putting it on Facebook. Particularly if she is the sort of person who only has a few selected friends on FB.

It wouldn't bother me :-)

Having seen all the threads about how people are not going to let anyone visit in hospital/for 2 weeks after the baby is born I think you've done well to be welcome at the hospital!

To me seeing the mum and baby would be the important bit and I wouldn't worry about what is/ isn't on fb. I don't really think a text (particularly a group one) is a vast amount more personal.

She has just had a beautiful baby. It's not about you. You saw it on facebook, so you have the information. You feel it wasn't delivered to you with due reverence? You might be overestimating your role here - you said yourself you aren't close.

Yabu. Wheb we finally agreed on ds2 name 3 months ago poor boy was a week old i texted my mum and dad who were at work then put his name on facebook. I would have been pretty pissed off if i thought my sister was mumping about that behind my back. I had enough to do without having to work out a vip list of people to text.
You also said it only takes a minute to text. I am pretty attached to my mobile but in the days after the birth i couldn't even have told you where my phone was.

I could at least understand a little of your reasoning had it been the absolute first you'd heard of the birth but look at it this way: you saw her and baby only two days after the birth, whereas presumably most on Facebook wouldn't have had that privilege.

For all you know, they could've mutually agreed to announce on Facebook all along so as kind as it is for you to offer help, you obviously know they have a lot on so this may be why texting you back wasn't an immediate priority for them over what they'd planned.

Have you considered that maybe the reason they didn't tell you first was because they didn't want the news coming from anyone else but them, particularly someone who is not close to them by their own admission?

Their baby, their choice.

YABU - she's got a newborn and you should cut her some slack - I wouldn't have thought to ring up all my relatives specifically to tell them name decisions, and we're really really close.

As others have said, doing a FB announcement is a matter of seconds, whereas a proper phonecall takes several minutes that she really might not have at the moment.

Oh and I don't think FB is the work of the devil - as much as I dislike Mark Zuckerberg - it just brings out the devil in people!

It's forgotten about now, I'm not dwelling on it.

Been over to see her with my mum this morning. I feel quite sorry for her tbh. She had a caesarean so can't do much and her DP had buggared off to play golf!

at playing golf!!