yes, I know I would be unreasonable, but I am THAT livid I want to hunt down the parents of the bullies who have, YAT AGAIN, gone for my DS2 and shoved him that hard his glasses have smashed!

[psychomum5]

Last term they shoved him that hard he ended up in hopsital with concussion.....the school dealt with it, but bullying continued and because the hospital and HV had been involved (as they are with children who suffer head injuries), a complaint was put in about by me about the teacher who had ignored the bullying, and things were, AFAIK, improving.

Have not long returned from school tho after it has happened again, and now he has smashed glasses.

but the school are trying to imply it was an accident as the child concerned was apparently reprimanded last year and surely wouldn't try it again.

really

I also have found out that at no point were the parents of the boys concerned told about their sons beahviour, so the promises to me that the problems had been dealt with are sounding a little hollow. Surely if children are bullying others, parents should be informed so that they can punish, or help their child to understand that bullying is WRONG ??

I am trying to calm down enough so that I don;t hunt the parents down and shove them hard enough to break something.

I know I am being unreasonable to want this, but god I wish bad thoughts upon them and their boys.

[livid]

I told the school that if there was a next time, I would not be interested in talking to them, or their chats with the parents. If the parents were the type to take on board school issues, they wouldn't have bullies for sons. Waste of time.

Why should your boy, who you kept safe all these years, be assaulted whilst in their care and nothing gets done.

I really urge you to go to the police. Maybe not much will get done, but a visit will happen at least. The bullies need to see there are consequences.

damn, glasses are already in the optitians.

arse!

that said, we do have the hospital reports from the concussion and the glasses will be on record of having to have been replaced.

am going to give it until monday...I never did hear from the school inclusion lady today, so am already getting riled about their treatment this time.

"8 is the age of legal criminal responsibility"

Ten, not eight.

It's always a tricky one.

I have always been of the opinion to go to the school first, parents second.

Luckily nothing has happened to my DC, but a few times I have been amazed at soft play when a child is being rough with another(or mine) and have stepped into say 'no pushing' or 'thats naughty'. I am always amazed that mums don't always reprimand their children.

Of course, as a chap, that argument that may result with a parent would be easier with a male parent as opposed to a women. Lest that way we can quickly turn to our natural neandathal roots and beat each other with clubs.

'Lest that way we can quickly turn to our natural neandathal roots and beat each other with clubs.'

might be inapproptiate, but that made me laugh:o

YANBU. To want to do this. Don't hit out at the bullies. Go to the schooland insist on talking to the head. Demand that some action is taken and if it isn't then put in an official complaint both to the school and LEA/

Find out who the Education Welfare Officer is for your school (usually accessed via local council or LEA). They get involved in behavioural issues like this. Will give your complaints more clout and they know all the procedures and lingo involved.
Also shows the school you mean business this time.

This is the letter that you write to the head:

Dear Mr/Mrs ......

As you are aware there were significant bullying issues concerning my son, ....., last year which resulted in a hospital admission. I am very disappointed that the situation remains unresolved and as a result xx has happened and a cost of xxx relating to broken glasses has been incurred. I would like to meet with you to discuss this after school today. At that meeting I would like to agree an action plan to deal with the issues which will allow my son to attend school without being bullied. I would like to receive the action plan within 48 hours of the meeting. Until an agreed action plan has been received xxxx will not be attending school.

If this matter is not resolved by .... I shall be escalating it to both the chair of governors and the education welfare officer.

I look forward to seeing you.

Yours sincerely

Mrs xx

cc: Local councillor (find out and engage their support.

I might get flamed for this but here goes: my ds was bullied last year by a boy a year older. It culminated in my ds being punched in the face. I went in, spoke to the class teacher, the head etc. Nothing changed. This year one week into term the bullying starts again (calling my ds fat (he is not anywhere near overweight), pushing him off the equipment etc) so I flip. I wait by the school gates and when the bully comes out I ask him for a word (he is not collec ted he walks home) and said to him, (more or less in these words) " Every-time you pick on my son I am going to come and find you. I am going to be in your classroom reporting you to your teacher, I am going to be banging on your door telling your parents and if that is not enough I will go down the police station and report you there. Now I suggest if you don't want to be looking behind you every minute of the day YOU LEAVE MY SON ALONE". Now I am not proud of having a go at a child but I didn't shout (I raised my voice slightly for the last bit), swear or invade his space and guess what IT HAS WORKED! He has stayed well away from my son!

It isn't wise to get involved with the parents-these things often don't go the way you plan.
I would ask to see their bullying policy and hold them to the letter of it-it will be written down in black and white.

Psycho, I am sorry your son is going thru this and I can understand why many people are saying go to the police now. My son is only 2 so I have no idea about school or bullying yet but I do know if my son put someone else into hospital with concussion and the school hadn't informed me about his behaviour then I would go nuts at the school (and he would be grounded for the rest of his natural life). So please make sure that the parents are aware before you go to the police.

Either get your son out of that school or get hold of those responsible and deal with them, because chances are that the school won't. My DDs have been through it and been ignored by schools and they are far from alone. Look at these forums... how many other parents have the same tale to tell of schools failing in their duty of care?

Last night I learned that my friend's lovely, gentle, sweet natured 15yo has just come out of hospital. She tried to kill herself because of bullying - the attempt damn near succeeded as the girl's heart stopped beating twice and the hospital had to shock her. She was unconscious for hours.

She's back at school but on Thursday couldn't go far, a prisoner by virtue of being bullied, kept in a classroom with a teacher at breaktimes "for her own safety" whilst the girls who caused her suicide attempt wandered around unhindered and unchallenged. Only on Friday did anything happen, when the girls were suspended - yes, suspended, not expelled - for a week.

Many will say that it's terribly wrong to hunt those teenaged girls down and stop them. If our schools and other authorities acted appropriately it wouldn't be necessary to even feel that way.

As it is, god help those teenaged girls when they're caught up with.

Nothing to add except support.

I'd take all the steps advised above, including the police, the LEA, and the local MP (who are often much more help than you'd imagine and tend to have a bit of clout)

I'm sure someone on here last year did involve police. The police IIRC didn't laugh, and didn't over-react, they actually sent someone to school for a talk.

your poor DS. why not have a word with one of the community police officers about the situation, to get their advice, then you can make your mind up about reporting (or not) to the police based on that.

as others have said, document everything from now on - note down conversations with school etc.

Tokyo, sorry, it's 8 here in Scotland, was forgetting England may be different.

The police will still take your concerns on board though.

I like Rebeccas way too, have had some success with that myself.

thankyou evryone with your support with this.....so crap that it happens too bloody often:(

onceamai, thankyou for the letter outline, I will use that. I would bleat on too much if I wrote a letter myself......anger is still too fresh!

valhalla, :( and for your friends daughter....and even more at the school for basically punishing the victim!!!

This reminds me of DD1's situation last school year.

Fortunately the children concerned seem to have grown up and are leaving her alone now.

For the last 4 years there were 2 children in particular that were constantly taunting her, teasing her, bullying her and making her cry. On the odd occasion it would be physical for example - the one girl tried to strangle DD with a scarf, DD told me infront of this girl so I asked her if it was true, she replied "yeah but she tried to do it to me first" DD didn't even have a scarf! I gave her my evilest of looks and told her she doesn't do it again!

I had endless arguments discussions with teachers and their way to deal with it was to move DD if they did anything in class or DD can play out one breaktime and the bullies can play out the next. So really my DD was being punished for getting bullied....

I took her out of school and sent a long letter to the head telling him that if he can't run his school then I will do everything in my power to get him removed. He told me that if she comes back he will sort it but i'm free to find somewhere else to send her

I never got anywhere though, they just seemed to have grown up. Or its because DS has just started in the juniors and hes a little badass very protective of his sisters even though he's younger

iliketosleep, at the heads attitude. He does not sound like decent head material!

Vallhala- that is awful :(

No he seems to be scared of his own shadow half the time

i would withdraw my child from that school with immediate effect.
Did the same thing with my DD when she was 8 .You can't make people like your child and you can't change their personalities.my DD satarted at a new school and is now very happy and popular

It's not surprising you're livid. You have every right to be. It's completely unacceptable that this has happened again. Don't they have teachers monitoring what's going on? Make sure you put things in writing as it's harder for them to ignore and ask for a response in writing if they meet with you. If the head fails to act then you could go directly to the safeguarding unit.