To wonder what the purpose of having hv actually is?

[strawberrycake]

It struck me today all every hv I've met has ever done is pretty much document whatever I say to them.

My ds (4 m/o) has gained exactly 0 oz in 4 weeks, 1 kg in total in the last 14 weeks and my red book is just a long list of weight gain static/ slow/ down. In the notes is nearly just word for word scribing of what I say.

I would like some bloody help (hence I actually go there sometimes) with chasing people up about him. I get nagged to go weekly to document his slow fall through the centile charts (98th centile length, below 9th weight).

Today I said 'I keep ringing the hospital, no one gets back and I have no milk' she write 'mum advised to ring hospital again'. I say 'I'm worried about his weight' she writes 'mum concerned' .I can envision her sitting there scribing 'baby not breathing' if I ran in with an unconscious baby

and she calls me 'Mummy'. Urgh.

Really sorry to hear how crap your HVs are being - unfortunately not the first similar tale I've heard. What do they think they are here for?!

A friend with a similar problem recently made an appointment with her GP who was much more helpful. Are you BF or FF or a mix? If you are BF or mix feeding then do you have a breastfeeding cafe in your area? There's the La Leche breastfeeding helpline too - 0845 120 2918 and also NCT breastfeeding helplines here (although I don't have personal experience of using them).

And to call you Mummy on top of it all - gah!

I have yet to meet a HV that isn't completely useless so, YANBU.

I've not taken DS for over 6 weeks since I mentioned he'd stopped sleeping through. The health visitor told me to cut back the amount of milk I was giving him as "milk is low in calories" and i should give him "stodge" before bed to fill him upstead. Her suggestion was "biscuits" - when I asked if she meant baby biscuits like rusks she said "if you like, or just any biscuits you have in." i said "what, like hobnobs?" (trying not to sound like I was taking the piss)and she said "yes, if that's what you've got in, does he like hobnobs?" I left.

Anyway, back to you - is there a nurse at your GP surgery? I found mine a bit more able to actually help and give decent advice.

ff, he's allergic to the formula thought . I want to get somebody to prescribe the bloody milk he needs.

Glad you agree with the 'mummy'. 'Oh hi mummy', 'Can I have the red book mummy'-just say this things and drop the 'mummy'!

fakeplasticstree at that advice. My ds is refusing to eat more than 2-3 oz so I've worked hard to get him to take more feeds, hv wants me to cut out 3 feeds to see if it will starve him into eating more. No-he just starves. Equaly dumb.

Practice nurse a little odd too tbh.

-wanders off to feed ds who is sleeping lightly a hobnob- snort still laughing.

FakePlasticTrees that is scary!

Strawberrycake handed us a leaflet telling us all the things they could help us with but if you ask about any of them they look at you like you're nuts. They did at least give us loads of other leaflets with contacts for breastfeeding support, I reckon La Leche or similar would help you more.

We're not all crap although it's rubbish stuff I hear on here sometimes. There's no point in just documenting what you say unless she is actually going to do something about it. Most HVs have zilch training on breastfeeding - shocking but true. Our area now emplys breastfeeding counsellors who do a far better job then many of the HVs in sorting out feeding issues. I share your "urgh" about "Mummy" and for what it's worth never do that myself.

Most HVs spend their days as substitute social workers (that's how it feels sometimes) with families whose children are experiencing neglect or abuse. So breastfeeding is low on their area of expertise imho although not all HVs or managers would agree with me. I was a midwife for a long time and breastfed DS for well over a year so feel more comfortable than many with breastfeeding issues.

Strawberry - is your DS otherwise well? I know you mentioned the photo oof him on an other thread and I seem to recall he's gorgeous and reads a book or two.

If he's otherwise well then I'd suggest a breastfeeding supporter to see if you can get feeding re-established. Another thing is that some babies do go through a phase of static weight for no apparent reason than they feel like it. You could alsways see your GP and ask for a general check but I suspect as you already say that this is a supply issue. Not sure what the breastfeeding support services are like in your area but am shocked the HV did not suggest complaining about the lack of response from the hospital or even offer to chase them up.

The purpose of my HV was that her visits made DP paranoid of getting a 'bad report'. He would thoroughly clean and hoover the house in preparation for her appointments. I miss her :)

I don't think it was the 'feed him hobnobs' that upset me the most, more the "milk is low in calories" - that from a HV is unforgivable in my book.

OP - try getting a GP appointment then if you don't want to use the nurse either.

heftynorks I had next to no milk plus ds never learnt to latch, plus I'm having to return to work. Not a hope of bf sadly. Been ff exclusively since 6 weeks, he's now 18.

DS is gorgeous, just skinny now, from being fat. He's been constipated or had diarrhea for 2 months and is not decorating his cot in vomit in the middle of the night (not spit up, proper sour vomit)

Hi, 1kg in 14 weeks is not so good. Just go to the GP and talk to them. If he is only taking such a small ammount it may be some thing else rather than difficult feeding. It might also be something very simple like the teat hole may be too small and its too hard to suck.

HV just come in and eat all you biscuits absolutely pointless waste of NHS money. They are on about £30k as well and all the biscuits they can eat.

I hope I wasn't your HV Rude - my house is permenant chaos and I often spend my visits wondering how the women I see stay on top of the housework while caring for 2, 3, 4 and more children when I only have the one and find it a nightmare. Most women I visit make me feel inferior with their infinitely superior housework and tidyness......

fiddley sticks no bottle but breast? How can you tell if he is only taking 2 to 3 oz?

Discount earlier advise about teat size and go and see GP.

gammy, he's been seen by a dietician/ pead. He's allergic to soya/ dairy hence the lack of weight gain. Dietician has recommended milk but it's in the post or the letter to the GP is not yet written. He's also covered in a rash as well as having an upset stomach daily.

I'm in the daft situation of just waiting and waiting for appointments/ letters. Hospital/ GP haven't communiciated yet.

If I don't go to the clinic will I get a home visit? Hmm. not sure dh would actually do any prep though. never mind.

My HVs were very helpful. NOt least because they realised that dd was losing weight and failing to thrive when I was adamant that there couldn't be anything wrong because her latch was good and I was breastfeeding on demand. HVs had the experience to see that dd was getting too weak to demand enough food.... They made all sorts of helpful suggestions about getting the breastfeeding sorted and then got the hospital breastfeeding counsellor to get in touch. Unfortunately, I had left things too long (not their fault) and dd did end up in hospital.

It was also a HV who spotted that there was something wrong with dd's weight bearing. Again, I was very upbeat and thought "what do they know? children all develop at their own pace, just stop fussing me". Well, in this case, the HV did know. By 7, dd was in a wheelchair.

So yes, competent sensible experienced HVs do exist. In fact, all the ones I have met have fallen into that category.

Not unless you are a tiny German lady, Hefty Norks!

Love your name btw.

Oh Strawberry - poor little DS. Are they investigating him for any milk allergies?

Did he have an initial bout of diarrhoea followed by ongoing probs? Sometimes when they have a bug the bowel becomes lactose intolerant for a period of time afterwards which might explain the continued vomiting and diarrhoea. Definitely go back to your GP and ask for support.

gammy I wouldn't dare come in your house and eat all your biscuits
.... and please don't tell social workers we are a waste of NHS resources - they rely on us to monitor the health of the children on their books. Sadly I suspect that in the future my work will be entirely with the families in their care. I do like that side of the job but it is nice to see families without all the issues too - even just to cuddle and admire the baby.

cory-your post scares me. My ds has gone from the 75th to 9th centile and I worry he's 'failing to thrive', if only someone looked twice.

I'm glad you had good care, how is your dd now if I may ask?

Needafootmassage - that would be awesome!

Cross posted and missed your post Strawberry. In your case I would definitely be making phone calls to try and sort this out for you. Can't understand why your HV is not doing so.

heftynorks- I think she thinks it's my fault he's underweight, I'm stupid or neglectful. Despite the fact he's a happy smiley baby who clearly loves his mummy and rarely cries. Too quick to look for social reasons rather than medical. She has collared me at the scales in a slightly aggressive way in the past.

He is very very loved and pampered, to the point where it's a running joke with my family. I dote on him, you'd have to be blind not to see it. I'm not thick either, in fact I'm the assistant head at the local school her kids attend.

hefty Norks only slagging off HV cos with both my fine health nothing wrong with me all babies our HV would come round and eat all my biscuits and stay for about 2 hours, then go to my other friends prefectly happy coping person and stay there for another 2 hours!!!! and scoff all her biscuits. Then try and come book another visit for the next week.
I don't know what peed me off more that I had to run round like a nuuter to tidy the house or that she was really thin after eating tonnes of biscuits.

Go and see GP and get a prescription for non dairy formula. My first was on a execema trial and its a simple prescription you then can get the chemist to order it for you. (can't spell it there is a c in it somewhere but how ever i write it it's wrong. strange!!!) (that I found out though other mum rather than HV)

i rarely see my hv. my mum was a hv for over 20 years, and a paediatric nurse before that so she is my first point of call. the one thing she didn't know was congenital hypothyroidism which my dd was diagnosed with at 2 weeks, but after much googleing is now an expert, but everything else she can tell you what it is and most importantly what to do.

my mum is an old school health visitor. some of her things to do are old fashioned but they work! like when dd had thrush in her mouth my mum told me to treat it by rubbing her wet nappy on her tongue and two days later it was gone. (gross i know) I think the difference between my mums hv training and modern training is that their hands are tied with what they can recommend and do, all they seem to be able to do is give out leaflets that have been devised and read over by a million experts. they can't really show you how to really wind a baby they just give you the leaflet that tells you how you should do it, but been physically shown is much more helpful.