To wonder what the purpose of having hv actually is?

[strawberrycake]

It struck me today all every hv I've met has ever done is pretty much document whatever I say to them.

My ds (4 m/o) has gained exactly 0 oz in 4 weeks, 1 kg in total in the last 14 weeks and my red book is just a long list of weight gain static/ slow/ down. In the notes is nearly just word for word scribing of what I say.

I would like some bloody help (hence I actually go there sometimes) with chasing people up about him. I get nagged to go weekly to document his slow fall through the centile charts (98th centile length, below 9th weight).

Today I said 'I keep ringing the hospital, no one gets back and I have no milk' she write 'mum advised to ring hospital again'. I say 'I'm worried about his weight' she writes 'mum concerned' .I can envision her sitting there scribing 'baby not breathing' if I ran in with an unconscious baby

and she calls me 'Mummy'. Urgh.

Strawberrycake, why continue to see her? Would it be better and might you get a more satisfactory response if you go straight to your Dr?

I sacked my HV after the first visit. I knew I didn't want one, and sure enough, having met her, she was not someone I wanted in my house, or near my baby. She called me 'mum', and advised me to feed my baby every four hours. On your way, dear. I had asked my brilliant independent midwife whether I needed to see one, and she said they had a right more or less to see me and baby once, but there was no need to continue contact after that.

If I had any concerns I would have gone to the Dr. DD is nine months old and I am glad that I have not had the stress that I read about on some of these posts about the bother caused by HVs.

Apologies I've not read all responses, sorry if I've repeated what others have said.

One of the first MN posts I ever read said that the purpose of the HV is to meet other Mums in the clinic and to get them to weigh the baby and fill in the red book as it Keeps Them Off The Streets

I totally agreed wrt to my HV until my son was diagnosed with autism. Since then she has been an absolute star and has stopped the, "have you tried... " comments and started to ask me if I'm okay, if I have enough support and tells me that she will always be there for me if need be.

Before we realised there was a definite concern about my son's development he was given his two-year check by a new HV who had an issue with her eyes. Both wandered off quite severely. It was excruciating but I tried to ask her if his lack of eye-contact was indicative of a problem but she dismissed it completely

Not saying that she shouldn't be doing the job, there's more to a two-year check than that obviously.

Fantastic HVs on MN abound though

Strawberrycake, I can understand the HV is crap, but just bypass them, and go straight on the phone to get an urgent GP appointment, and also phone the consultant and ask what has happened to the letter. Get both ends to chase it.

It's not necessarily an emergency, but there's no reason why your ds shouldn't have the best formula for him which has been recommended by the consultant. Keep chasing, on a daily basis til they are sick of you!

HV, I didn't bother second time around, I let them do one home visit and never went again to the clinic (a bus ride to weigh a baby that I could weigh at home). However, I did keep my own chart of weight and had I had any concerns about anything, I would have called them for a first (but not final) opinion.

My HV knew nothing about tongue-tie, which is why both of mine had private ops in the end, after feeding problems, however, second time around I spotted it myself, and dealt with it privately.

My HV knows my first name and waves at me when she drives past me (once or twice a week I reckon). She knows DS's name, that he was 2 weeks early, footling breech, em CS and bottle fed. She knows who I am when I ring her up.

She runs a weekly non-walking babies and mums group, with a little rota of talks - weaning, foot car, safety - that sort of thing. This was amazing support in my year of mat leave. She runs a 4 week session for mums and rising 2s too, which has been fab.

She always returns phone calls if you leave her a message and is patient however small the query. She will also come and see you in person, given enough notice.

She makes no assumptions.

She has been great with me.

DH calls them the baby nazis as the first one came at 2 weeks and gave us a lecture on everything we mustn't do - we were thinking we were doing ok, 2 weeks in and managed not to kill him.

My new one is nice enough, but keeps going on about how awesome I am for breastfeeding, i appreciate the encouragement but she really goes OTT, every time, its wearing a bit thin now.

I've had 4 children in three different areas and yet to meet a good one yet.
As the others have said go to your GP, I do anyway or the walk in centre at A&E if it's urgent and I can't wait for an appointment.

Oh and if they keep calling people Mummy, why don't you say it's Sarah Smith or Mrs Jones ? They only do it so they don't put their foot in it by calling you the same name as the DC which might be wrong.

If you are concerned in any way about your baby you must refer to a doctor. I never met a competent HV, a polite HV, a clean HV or an HV who cared. Having said that I only went three times and refused all contact after first child on the basis that the service was a complete waste of time. In response to another post about HV's not being experts in breastfeeding and it not be top of their priority can I just say please, if HV are not in a position to help, they need to say breast is regarded as best but I cannot help you with it. If you need help here are other agencies. I still remember the little cow who turned around and said to me "breast feeding mothers put their babies first, bottle feeding mothers put themselves first.

onceamai that's a hideous thing to say to any mother and I hope you made a complaint. FWIW I do tell parents that there are agencies out there better able to support them than many health visitors and make sure they have the contact numbers. In our area we have an organization called Little Angels who are fab and I referred a Mum just yesterday to them as she was struggling to keep breastfeeding.

I know there are crap HVs out there (I have had them AND worked with them at times)but many of us are human and NOT horrible and my last HV was fantastic when DS was having issues which subsequantly turned out to show he had an ASD.
The big issue at present is a national shortage of HVs (anyone fancy training?) and most HVs (me included) are struggling with massive caseloads and spread too thin - this means that the service we recieve as parents is crap tbh - the bare minimum of the child health surveillance programme.
In the future I suspect that the HV service will cease for many families and that we will work with social care (there are already plans afoot locally to move us into a shared building with social services). This concerns me as I would hate to be part of a stigmatised service. One of the reasons many families facing difficulties let us in is because we are a universal service and there's no stigma to having us in the way there might be with having a social worker...... and I am now wildly off topic.

strawberry - what your HV should be doing is ringing the consultant's secretary and making a fuss about the lack of prescription for milk. Give them a ring and give em hell.

i didn't even have a hv with dd2 - and she went into hospital twice. apparently the hv should have checked up on us - no-one did.

i think it very much depends on who you get.

in my case - no-one.

Well, I got the letter through now so hopefully in a few days we'll actually have the milk.

I'm SO fed up with it all.

My friends HV suggested that when she went back to work she left the baby pots of formage frais instead of expressed breast milk or formula. The baby was 8 weeks

Mine was awful too. She had long purple nails, told me I should wean dd at 4 months as she was a big baby and said I should make an urgent GP appointment if she wasn't walking by 12 months as it would indicate a possible disability. She was 19 months before she did so I could have been in for a lot of stress and worry if I'd taken her advice on board. Apparantly she's no longer DD's HV though I have no idea who is!