To think that when your school's demograph is mostly impoverished, guilt tripping mothers about 'Harvest Festival' will not help?

[colditz]

Our school badgers parents for 'Harvest festival' donations, and donates these to an elderly person's sheltered housing scheme.

I have done care work in that very housing scheme, and yes, the residents are vulnerable, and often sickeningly lonely, but they aren't poor.

Probably half the mothers at my sons' school are poor. Should the children of our school really be told to "Go home and ask mummy to send something in for Harvest festival'"?

I know nobody NEEDS to but no child wants to be the one who was sent in empty handed.

this is tough

obv it is stupid for children to go hungry to feed people who don't need it

also v insensitive to ask for donations

but v good to learn to be generous

is there a better way to learn generosity?

could a year group 'adopt' the residents and visit them or something?

Sounds like the school have forgotten WHY they are doing what they're doing. You should remind them.

Can you suggest a more suitable local charity? Maybe one that delivers to the elderly at home (who are more likely to be living below the poverty line)?

I guess it also depends on what is expected. Our school collects tins of soup which are used during the year at a homeless soup kitchen. Nobody is expected to donate more than 1 tin, but obviously you can donate more if you want to. And a tin of soup is pretty cheap.

I completely see your point colditz, but at the same time, I think the good outweighs the bad here. The children learn to be generous, the elderly people hopefully feel a bit less lonely when young people reach out to them, and you can get a tin of something for around 30p these.

I don't really know what is expected ... I suppose I feel guilty because I've just had to shell out £60 for Ds1's clothes for winter, and really could have done without having to cough for harvest Festival, and it got me thinking about the mums who are worse off than me, and rather than this being inconvenient, it maight be IMPOSSIBLE. And there are loads of kids on free school dinners...

YANBU

(We have been asked to contribute SOCKS)

If you are really broke, even an extra 30p means going without something necessary. Plus the fact that you worry about being sneered at if you buy something from the Value range in the supermarket.
I think that if schools must do this sort of thing, they should make it not too big a deal, ie have a box in the hall that DC can put things in rather than publicly shaming the ones who can't by going round the classroom asking etc.

If They cant afford it, they wont give! Simple really no one needs to feel guilty for asking the "poor" for donations.

Theincrediblesulk, I suppose you have never been that poor child. For a child to come empty handed when all their peers have soemthing does not go unnoticed.

I have actually and guess what i got over it! fgs! my mother never gave me tins for the harvest festival she ALWAYS forgot!
funnily enough i don't remember being even remotely bothered!

That is stupid. I bet the elderly people would much prefer if the children were taken to visit them once a month, or something like that. Surely the oldest children would be able to go and chat to some lonely folk for a half hour?

i agree LittleredDragon

You have a very thick skin then. And you know what? Maybe the children won't care. But to add the extra pressure to parents already struggling? There's no need imo. A school should know it's demographic well enough to be able to decide wether donations are appropriate, or even feasable.

I don't think any mum goes home and thinks "oh no what will everyone think of me and my child, i didn't give any beans to the elderly" and if they do they need to get a grip! i am not thick skinned! just far less bothered what others think! like everyone else should be!

There is something very patronising about this thread.

Any donation would be gratefully received surely? Pick some blackberries to donate if there really is no money for a tin of soup.

And you really claim to have been that poor? You have no idea. Poverty and depression often go hand in hand. I'm not saying every parent will be depressed, but that sense of inadequacy is crushing. I was asked by the teacher last year, in front of everyone, for the voluntary contribution for a school trip. I went hungry to pay for it :(

Ours no longer wants non perishables in a tin they want us to produce only home made home grown goods FFS. ( no cheating and buying a tomato from Tescos) YOU know chutneys, bread veg, pies all the stuff I always have to hand
poncey twats

I don't think the school have considered how much of a burden it could be on some families. All these little donations here and there for this and that add up and a lot of people would probably struggle to manage to donate.

In what way is the school "badgering parents" about the donations? They could just have a cardboard box out that people put things in or not perhaps.

I am that poor now! my oh is sick from work and we have the best part of fuck all so don't even attempt it love!

Jesus h Christ ask a question before making a huge leap hay?!

Then I find your lack of empathy surprising tbh

Why is that then? because i am poor and downtrodden and to be felt sorry for?! i don't think so! i have a great life thanks i don't need any misguided sympathies cheers!

Or am i so poor and thick, that you must tell me i should feel embarrassed or uneasy when asked to donate. News flash i always give to charity workers. And i still manage to feed my family!