To think that 'quality time' is a load of nonsense.

[darcymum]

Or rather that just about all time spent with your DCs is 'quality time' not just trips to the zoo etc. I think that telling your children off for hitting each other, making them do their maths homework and wrestling their clothes on them is every bit as 'quality' as fun days out. Or am I just kidding myself because my DCs don't get a great deal of the trips to the zoo type quality time and an awful lot of 'pick up your toys' type quality time?

Who invested the stupid phrase anyway!

i think a lot of this is middle class guilt. A friend of mine is a SAHM to two school age kids, she's a down to earth, working class northern lass (scuse cliches) and makes no secret of the fact that she can't wait to pack them off to their dad's at the weekends or during holidays so she can go off and have a break with her new partner.

Quite honestly I don't know how i feel about that; strictly speaking it's none of my darn business anyway; depending on what mood i'm in when i see her i either think 'hmmm' in a judgey way, or 'good for you'. Maybe I envy her slightly that she doesn't feel (as I do) that i have to be constantly entertaining the kids and isn't enslaved to the notion of 'quality' or 'quantity' time. Jury's out.

I don't think any parent has to feel guilty when their DC are being looked after by the other parent!

I object to the use of the word quality to mean good quality. Quality chocolates gramatically means either good or bad quality. We must stamp out the wrong use of the word quality to mean good quality. If you are a quality mother that could mean a good or a bad quality mother.

Xenia, but "quality" can be used perfectly correctly as an adjective to describe something of superior quality.

dictionary.reference.com/browse/quality

Sorry posted too soon. Xenia, you're mixing up the use of "quality" as a noun and as an adjective.

the concept of quality time, as i understand it and not to dissect and analyse it too much, is that you so somethng with the kids. talk to them, wash up with them, have fun with them, listen to them, kiss and hug them, make pizza with them, do gardening with them, homework with them

it doesn't have to cost money or be out of the house necessarity

Flipped to the end to see if thread had degenerated and to my delight it's turned into a debate about nouns and adjectives.

If I'd had quality time with my mother, or a with a teacher, I wouldn't have to google what adjective and noun actually mean in lay terms...

Canella - wasn't your friend supporting you as such? In effect that's exactly what you are doing, giving your DCs quality not quantity time.

YANBU.
I hate that phrase, as it mainly talks about hours at a time doing something, whereas in my house it's constant time doing nothing!

I am at home when DD is, as I work school hours, but we rarely make a point of doing something together.
I like to think my presence is enough, and we don't need hours long planned activities for it to be quality.

I s'pose, if you must label it's a combination of quality and quantity, but done in two minute bursts.

(It still sounds wrong to me whatever the dictionary says about use of quality as an adjective)

lutyens - your post made me well up a bit! yes thats exactly what i remember about happy family life - knowing you are at home and your loved ones are around if you need them - just as important when a young teenager as a toddler

i also quite like the idea of quality time with bonsoir - ribbons and walking in paris would be great thanks

YANBU

quality time is used mainly by working parents who know they don't spend enough time with their kids and like to dress up what little time they do spend with them as quality time

quality time to me when I was young was being at home with my mum always there, not having her giving me constant attention, just being there

My dd is lucky that she has both quantity and quality time with my DH. He is there to pick her up from school and they get to do something together every afternoon after school on their own. Walking, painting, experiments, playing games.

I work long hours so my dd can have that with one of us so my time with her has to be of the quality nature. Every Friday we do something as a family, go out for a meal usually or the pictures. I try to every other weekend do something with dd alone usually dressmaking, shopping or painting. I am lucky that I then have the holidays when I make a conscious effort to make my life revolve around dd to make up for the fact that I am not there during the week during term times.

I agreee with PP that it's about giving your child your whole attention more than exciting trips out

A trip to the zoo where adults and kids aren't engaging with each other isn't quality time.

What Poogles said.

There's no "quality" in the time I spend trying to get ds to leave me alone while I cook or pack our lunches and he is begging for my attention. Or telling him a billion times to put his shoes on. That's just childcare and not fun for anyone.
For me "quality time" means doing something together whether it's chatting or playing or a trip doesn't matter, what matters is it's not him begging for my attention and me begging to be left alone for fun be minutes to poo