To feel very inadequate that my nephew is the same size as my dd and a year younger.....

[Noellefielding]

Honestly, I'm sure he weighs more too...
dd is two and is in clothes for 18 month old kids. Nephew is enormous and blocks out the sun if you stand next to him .

Can't help but stress out that I didn't feed her enough.
.....

The health profs think she's fine by the way, I think she's within the normal range and he's exceeded most records for our species..... and he eats enough for 12 people while dd picks and pokes like like some skinny Parisian lady!
Also b in law goes on and on and on about how well he eats and how healthily and how he's a record breaking size yawn yawn yawn.
Why does child rearing have to be such a competition?
Why does it bother me!

What a bizarre thread.

YABU and odd.

I know of course you're right... But I wasn't responsible for the diet of those adults! I feel responsible that she's a total Titch!

I'm sure if I'd shovelled more quinoa and spinach down my little angel than I would have given her care as good as my messianic nephew received!

YABU. Why would you bother comparing two completely different kids, different sexes, of different ages so totally different activity levels? Both children sound lovely. Presumably they are both healthy. Don't pass your anxieties on to your DD about how much she's eating or not (unless it really is a problem).

I say this like I never worry about being inadequate which is obviously bollocks but I would try very hard not to even think about it in this case!

YABU

You are comparing them (and you are being a bit unkind about him as well 'Nephew is enormous and blocks out the sun if you stand next to him'). You are the one turning it into a competition.

Get over yourself.

Umm, they all grow at different rates. DS1 was a huge baby, was quite podgy until 3 and was tall for his age. Now he is 6 and is average height and extremely slim but still has a enormous appetite.

I was embarrassed that my babies were almost twice the size of my SIL's, so it works both ways and phrases such as "Nephew is enormous and blocks out the sun if you stand next to him" are just nasty and unnecessary.

YABU - My DS is 4 years old and his sister who is over 2 years younger than him is nearly the same weight and not far off in height. People think they are twins.

Same family, same food - they are just built differently. Nothing you can do about it.

You sound very resentful of a baby, your own nephew.

Yabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

My 9 yr old is bigger than his 12 yr old sister, bigger feet, much taller, weighs more etc.

Meh.

Are you my SIL?

I'm sure you're not because there's no way she'd be feeling inadequate because my beautiful petite niece is the same size as my chunky DS2. Both are healthy children within normal range.

Oh god, I always forget the sense of humour bypass on mumsnet.

I was kidding about his size using an exaggerated metaphor in a predominantly self-deprecating way. i.e. I feel he's that big out of my anxiety. He's obviously not really that big nor do I wish him any ill, he's lovely, I love him and he's perfectly healthy.

Of course it's my problem, of course it's unreasonable! That's the whole point. Glad you have access to total rationality!

My DS is 22 months older than DD. DD has weighed 4lb less than him for years (they are 6.10 and 5 now). They are fed similarly. Just have different body shapes it would appear.

Your nephew weighing more than your DD is nothing to do with how you have parented your DD. It is just they are different.

YABU and mean about your nephew.

You are a terrible mother. Off to hell in a handbasket with you and your malnourished, nay, neglected child.

Thanks for those that displayed some empathy!

I was actually hoping to hear from people in the same position, I generally don't come here to be told off. I'm pretty good at doing that to myself.

Note to self.... get off the computer!

LOL Hullygully!

I have a sense of humour, I just think that moaning about how your BIL talks about his son and how you feel inadequate whilst being insulting about said child is somewhat off.

I am sure if you hadn't been feeding your child enough then you'd know by now. Does he attempt to rob other children of their snacks at playgroup? Do you find her rifling through cupboards in search of food?

Relax.

relax, children and adults are all different sizes. and what's true now may not be in a couple of years.

my son is 2.2 and he wears loads of 18 month stuff. recently we saw a friend's 3 year old son who is twice his size and wears clothes for a five year old. her one year old daughter was nearly as tall as my son and weighed only 2 lbs less!

but i'm not sure record breaking size is really something to boast about ...

just smile politely and keep doing what you're doing with your daughter.

I used to be in tears often at people's comments on my DS1, he was such a huge and greedy baby. I had comments that I must have been over feeding him, which I wasn't.

He was huge though. At 6mths people thought he was 12mths etc, he was always in 2 sizes bigger clothes.

As a 5ft 9" sturdy woman myself, I was concerned I'd bred a giant

You don't really feel inadequate about this, do you? Or was it a sort of reverse AIBU?

Otoh, I have a small 10yo and have noticed a weird kind of competition about who wears the smallest clothes. Oh, yes, she's still in 8yo stuff, blah blah. It's a bit odd.

of course you're right chandellina and that's just what I do smile politely and get on.
I just had a whole week end of b in law endlessly bragging and comparing and it does my head in and wears me and my sense of proportions down.

fwiw, I wasn't being insulting or nasty about my nephew I was kidding because of my own sense of inadequacy. And coming on hear moaning about my sense of humour Lizzylou is just 'somewhat off' imho. and winking is patronising when you're having a go at someone in my experience. so is grinning at them!

There were twins in my brother's class (so two years younger) who were both bigger than me as a child but it never mattered. Variety is great.

yes I do feel inadequate about her size people talk constantly about how titchy she is. with the best will in the world it's hard to not ever let that bother me. I usually forget all about it. I just had a whole week end of b in law showing off about everything and it wore me down, just popped in for a little empathy, that's what I use mumsnet for. If that makes me odd than fine. I envy those of you who remain untouched by the constant comparing of children that goes on all around us. I do my best.

Re-read, I said that the comment about him blocking out the sun was somewhat off, I made no comment about anyone's sense of humour.

As a very good 5 foot 6 male friend of mine said about my 3lb prem baby, there's nothing wrong with being small.....