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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is just not on?!

57 replies

LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:41

Had a driving lesson this afternoon. Mum round to babysit.

Hospital rings whilst I am out:

Hospital: Can I speak to Mrs Baiter please
Mum: Sorry, she's not here
Hospital: Oh ok, can you just let her know that her 12 week scan is booked for ....

We have told no-one about the pregnancy. Was waiting to have the dating scan first (mainly because we're not sure how far gone I am).

So my Mum has been told, by a stranger on the end of the phone Angry

I have called the hospital, and spoken to the lady that made the original call, her words: 'Sorry, that was the number we were given for you, all I can do is apologise' then she giggled.

Surely this can't be 'just one of those things' like she implied?

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 28/09/2010 16:43

Write a letter to the person in charge of the unit saying you feel there has been a gross breach of your confidentiality.

Thats disgusting YANBU...

BooBooGlass · 28/09/2010 16:44

An honest mistake tbh, though I can see why you're cross. It was a confirmation of an appointment that happened to be in antenatal. It's not like she gave out your STD test results is it?

Plumm · 28/09/2010 16:45

YANBU, I would be livid. Find out who you can complain to and do so.

Original poster
LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:46

Thing is... it wasn't confirmation, the whole thing has been a massive cock up. I was told I wouldn't get a scan yet. I haven't even seen a doctor or midwife yet, for all they know I might not have even been going ahead with the pregnancy.

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 28/09/2010 16:47

Its not a mistake though is it? The OP's Mum clearly stated that she was not the OP.

Revealing pregnancy in some situations is much worse for some people than revealing an STI....

IsabellaSwan · 28/09/2010 16:47

In your shoes I'd be spitting tacks and woud probably report them to the Information Commissioner for such a gross breach of confidentiality. I think they could potentially be fined and really hauled over the coals. I take no prisoners when I get really pissed off...

lifeas3plus1 · 28/09/2010 16:47

Same as plumm

I would be on the phone finding out who to complain to asap.

sapphireblue · 28/09/2010 16:47

I would be livid too. We didn't tell anyone about either pregnancy until after the 12 week scan. I would most definitely complain.

overmydeadbody · 28/09/2010 16:48

Well, in the grand scheme of things it's not that bad really.

Original poster
LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:48

I feel like crying more than anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:49

Over - you don't know my Mum

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 28/09/2010 16:49

Congratulations, btw....

Original poster
LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:50

Thank you scurryfunge Smile

OP posts:
IUsedToBeFab · 28/09/2010 16:51

How has your mum taken it?

DaisySteiner · 28/09/2010 16:52

This is a potentially serious breach of the Data Protection Act and she should know better. A failing on her behalf and also the Trust for not ensuring that she is adequately trained.

Original poster
LadyBaiter · 28/09/2010 16:52

Not sure really IUsedToBeFab, not good, not bad I suppose. She's a worrier, which was why it was even more crucial to wait until we had a scan.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 28/09/2010 16:53

Blimey, this situation must arise every day for antenatal clerical staff. Surely they would have worked out what to do by now!

gingernutlover · 28/09/2010 16:54

I would be very annoyed and I would complain.

If your mum had phoned and asked for the information they wouldnt have given it to her would they!

The lady wrongly assumed that whoever answered the phone lived in the house and probably knew but that's not the point is it. You could have been keeping the pregnancy a secret until after the scan for many many reasons and it is your news to tell not anyone elses.

She should have left a number and a name/name of hospital for you to phone back.

She probably giggled out of nerves btw, unlikely she actually thought it was funny (I hope)

PeterTong · 28/09/2010 16:54

are you going to take recourse with the hospital? their procedures really do need looking at and i hope you kick up enough of a fuss so that they change their policy to tell strangers over the phone.

like someone said earlier, it is not always a good thing to be pregnant, it could be a marriage, relationship shattering piece of news.

Truffkin · 28/09/2010 16:55

I'd definitely be complaining formally, I don't think it matters what the information was, when the person calling from the hospital knew it wasn't you, she should have said she would call back or left a number for you to call. Whether it was confirmation or not, she could have been talking to your cleaner for goodness sake, it's personal sensitive information!

How did your Mom react?

DaisySteiner · 28/09/2010 16:55

She shouldn't even have left the hospital's name or number....

SiriusStar · 28/09/2010 16:58

Completely not on. What if it was a work number you had given?
It wouldn't matter if it was confirming an app for having an ingrown toe nail sorted out. She should have said she would call back.
This is totally off, when I think that BT wouldn't talk to me about our phone account as my dh is the named person!
Ooh I'm all in a huff for you.
Wipe your tears and find a name, address and phone number for Management.

Congratulations though. Smile

MrsTittleMouse · 28/09/2010 16:59

Not an honest mistake IMO - a major breach of confidentiality and they need some serious re-training.

We had my Mum visiting us when we were having a load of fertility investigations and this was one of my worries - that the clinic would phone while she was in on her own and let slip.

Of course you want to tell your Mum yourself, when you're ready. I hope your scan goes well and your Mum doesn't drive you too crazy before then.

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/09/2010 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 28/09/2010 17:07

I would put this in writing to the person in charge of the hospital. This is not just ' one of those things'. If she had been really apologetic and assured you that she wouldn't do it again, then that's one thing, but to be dismissive is another. It's not how you want your mum to find out you are pg.

Funny how data protection rules and
confidentiality are so fluid when it suits organisations, but less so when it suits us!