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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want the teachers to clean my son's nose for him?

57 replies

emkana · 24/09/2010 22:41

Before you jump on me - he is in reception, he turned four in June and he is developmentally delayed. He goes to school part time at the moment, and when I pick him up at 12 his face is completely covered in dried on snot, where he's been wiping it with his hand. Mentioned it to the teachers and they said that they do tell him to go and get a tissue. Point is though that the way he is, it's not enough to tell him to go and get a tissue, you need to make it clearer! Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 25/09/2010 09:56

I was a teacher. Everyone in any school I worked in would have been horrified to leave a child in that condition, someone would have done something about it. Either just doing it for them or helping them to wipe themselves. All classrooms have tissues in them for this purpose.

YANBU

mumblechum · 25/09/2010 10:07

Sorry but I think you should be teaching him to wipe his own nose and put some tissues in his pocket.

There are going to be far more difficult hurdles for him in the future, you may as well start teaching him to deal with things now.

savoycabbage · 25/09/2010 10:13

Is there a sink in the classroom with hot water so that the teacher can wash her hands afterwards?

MaMoTTaT · 25/09/2010 10:54

it's all very well to say to the OP "are you practising every day at home with him."

BUT - if a child has developmental delays, then there's going to be LOTS of things which need extra practice. Sadly (especially once they start school) there simply enough hours in the day to practice everything that they're "behind" in.

emptyshell · 25/09/2010 10:54

By the way - just to get in the way of an nice teacher bash... you know those boxes of tissues all around the room, and the handwash at the sink... I used to pay for all of that in my classroom with my own money because the school alternative was nicking loo roll out of the toilets.

We do a LOT for the kids but never enough to please some.

savoycabbage · 25/09/2010 12:21

Me too Emptyshell. Now I live 'abroad' and we all have to bring two boxes of tissues in at the start of the year and the teacher keeps them in her cupboard until they are needed.

melikalikimaka · 25/09/2010 12:37

Ridiculous! That is terrible, to leave him in this state. The teaching assistants should deal with this, as they would if he had wet himself. I too, would be horrified. Maybe they all need a lesson in hygiene. Boxes of tissues everywhere in classroom would help.

hocuspontas · 25/09/2010 12:54

I'm sure if they see it they would do something about it but they won't be looking at him 24/7, possibly not at all at playtime, it only takes a couple of seconds for him to wipe his sleeve/hand across his face. If they tell him to get a tissue they are probably assuming that he has been taught how to use it at home. Ask them to be more specific, they won't necessarily know without you teling them that he needs clearer instructions.

woahwoah · 25/09/2010 14:46

And I would suggest you buy a couple of boxes of tissues for the classroom - usually teachers end up paying for these themselves!

SharonGless · 25/09/2010 15:05

We had to send a box of tissues in last week at start of term. Goodness knows where they will store 30 boxes of tissues!

YANBU by the way

QuickLookBusy · 25/09/2010 15:26

I really think you do need to do more at home, so he does learn to wipe his nose himself.

If he is managing to go to the loo and feed himself he should beable to wipe his nose.

The very fact that he wipes it with his hand, shows he is aware of it on his face-so with lots of encouragement from you he should beable to learn that he needs to use a tissue.

lazylula · 25/09/2010 16:11

I worked in a Reception Class and we would have started by telling him to get a tissue and wipe his nose, if thatfailed he would have been taken to get a tissue and assisted/watched while he did it. I can not stand seeing children with snotty noses (ds2's nose drives me mad, it is constantly running), so would not have left a child like it fr long. I also use to take in a pack of baby wipes to help clean their faces in such circumstances (also came in usefull on spag bol days lol). I would give him a supply of tissues and encourage him at hme and tell the teacher he has tissues, can they ensure they follow up their instructions to go and get a tissue by checking he has and if he hasn't to assist him in doing so. It would probably only take a few times for him to realise what is expected and do it himself.

lazylula · 25/09/2010 16:14

Agree with others too, either me, a TA or the class teacher often provided all the boxes of tissues, dispensers of soap ect, school budgets do only go so far.

troublewithtalk · 25/09/2010 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaMoTTaT · 25/09/2010 17:56

actually if you read the OP and not the title all the OP is asking is that they make it clear to the OP's DS not just to get a tissue - but also to use it to wipe his nose.

Having got 2 children myself (well I've got 3 - but one has a little common sense ) who are very much "listen to the instruction - don't think to follow on with any more actions" I do't think the OP is being UR.

Some children (even when they hit 10yrs old ) still need it spelling out to them that they have to do something else. (for example in our house, something gets split - I send DS1 off to get a cloth - he brings the cloth back and stands there looking at the spillage, or gives it to me.............)

Original poster

emkana · 25/09/2010 21:23

actually he can't go to the loo himself... he's still in pull-ups. Another issue (sigh).

He has dwarfism so is not able to look at himself in the mirrors in the school toilets.

I do appreciate that he needs to practise at home, and we do, but in school with all that is going on around him I think he will need to be specifically directed to use a tissue.

Don't think that argument of "teachers can't clean 30 noses" really stands.... after all out of the 30 plenty will not have runny noses, plenty more will be independent enough at this stage to care for themselves.

OP posts:

southeastastra · 25/09/2010 21:25

it's just being caring surely-i've worked on playschemes with 30+ children -helping one wipe their nose isn't that out of the ordinary

southeastastra · 25/09/2010 21:26

or much of a big deal

tibni · 25/09/2010 21:39

Helping your ds to wipe his nose is a "reasonable adjustment". Ok it will not be possible to always prevent the wiping on hand / jumper but school should be offering support and encouragement.

Has school put in a care plan? Maybe this could be part of the plan along with toileting / dressing type support required.

yummypopcorn · 25/09/2010 21:49

I teach and I would be more than happy to.

Original poster

emkana · 25/09/2010 21:50

no care plan at the moment, because he only stays for three hours the pull-up issue hasn't really arisen because there is no need to change him while he is in school.

Had not realized before that nose-wiping would be an issue!

OP posts:

charlieliz · 25/09/2010 21:51

As a teacher I happily wipe noses in Reception - you can actually do it while teaching at the same time too! There are however lots of rules about what we should so, including not touching a crying child with bleeding knee until we have put gloves on -yeah right, like I am going to leave a sobbing child while I put gloves on! as a mum I would like to think my DS's teachers would react the same way - some rules are just daft.

Mspontipine · 25/09/2010 21:56

"He has dwarfism so is not able to look at himself in the mirrors in the school toilets."

Oh emkana I hope you don't think I'm being rude, that line is the saddest I have ever read on here. My heart goes out to your little chap and I hope everything soon sorts itself out at school. No yanbu, it is basic caring.

And I do think they should make sure he can see a mirror too :)

Original poster

emkana · 25/09/2010 21:58

mspontipine don't say that!! Believe me I have read plenty of things on here which are much, much worse. But thank you for being so kind.

OP posts:

Morloth · 25/09/2010 21:59

Hanky up the sleeve? I do this when DS1 has sniffles. I thought most people did?

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