to be completely saddened by the effects of paedo-hysteria?

[LadyBiscuit]

I have a lovely, lovely friend in his early 60s who was stepfather to two boys and his partner left for another man which left him broken hearted (as much for the children who he was very fond of as the partner).

He is a lovely, lovely kind and witty man who has a disability (MS) which has aged him far faster than he deserves.

He asked me today if he could send my DS some toys and said how much he treasured my trust in him. I was a bit WTF but he said he has had so many incidents of women thinking he's 'interested' in their children if he talks and smiles to them that he doesn't dare to any more. It's so very sad, he's a lovely, lovely man with a disability and he is becoming more and more isolated because he is worried people will mistrust his motives.

It breaks my heart :(

my dd2 fell over the park and i was close but a grandfather picked her up and dusted her down and as i approached he started to apologise, it made me sad because he was so nice it was a natural paternal reaction, also we put money in a charity tin and the man said i should stick the sticker on my daughter just in case... that made me sad too x

fragola - that is a nightmare scenario but something similar happened to me.

A lost child in a museum, lots of silly interconnecting passages and sliding doors. Like a maze. Child trapped behind a door that woudl not open, parent nowhere to be seen. I came across the child, alone and in tears. No one else around.

What was my first thought?

My first thought was, OK I'll go and find a woman from the Museum Reception desk. I spoke to the child and told her to stay where she was. No way was I going to lead the child away and look for the parent. I went to get the Receptionist, she came, I took the child by the hand and led her into a large open public area. The Receptionsit went a few yards away to announce over the intercom that the child was lost. The mother in the meantime found me with child and snatched her off me. I tried to explain what had happened but she was clearly very unhappy finding me with child and despite my explanation glared at me and left without a word.

yawningprincess - my DS put some money in a charity tin a couple of months ago and the woman holding it said she wasn't allowed to put the badge on him. I was a bit at that

There is also the disability issue here - talking from experience, there are idiots who are actually scared of anyone with a disability.

My (elderly) Dad takes his dog for a walk over the park every day and has told me that he loves to see the little kids on the swings etc as it reminds him of happy times when we were kids, and the sound of kids laughing is such a great thing to hear, but that he is scared to stop a look at them for a minute while the dog runs around incase people turn on him.

horrible reactions, you'd think the parents in these stories would just be damn grateful that their child is safe!

I have an inkling that often these reactions are partly due to embarrassment though, at the fact they've allowed their child to get lost?

You are very charitable Algebra :)

I, on the other hand, am not

I think Algebra has a point. This sort of thing has only happened once to me when Ifound a toddler toddling around a car park of an eaterie at lunch time - she had obv. managed to wander off. I was leading said attempt escapee back inside whe nwe met mum on the way out in a bit of distress. She was thankful and polite but obviously embarassed and possibly fearing to be judged as a bad mother.

and I told her as much.

Kidding.

I think it's utterly tragic. We are so paranoid as a society that we don't know how to relate to other people anymore.

Once my dad and I were on a busy tube in London. We were sitting next to each other but since I've always looked older than I am, there was no obvious sign that I was his daughter. Anyway, there was a small boy sitting opposite us who was very excitable and making faces at the people opposite. He stuck out his tongue at my dad, and so my dad laughed and did the same in a totally innocent way. And suddenly his mum (who had been texting away the entire time) looks up and announces to the carriage "You disgusting pervert! What are you doing to my son?" Now the entire carriage is staring at dad, who has turned a shade of mauve and is trying to explain the situation, even though he'd already been tried and convicted. We had to get off at the next stop and catch a different train. He was so mortified that now he won't even talk to kids without asking their parents.

meadowlarks. It seems to be part of the evilisation of men that has taken place in this country. I wonder what the rest of Europe is like?

Can only speak for Sweden, jammelaq, and as far as I can make out there are no signs of evilisation of men there. It is common for men to take part of the parental leave, hence for a dad to be in charge of young children and be the parent who is in home when other children come on playdates. Young children still play outside for hours pretty well unsupervised, and school children make their own way to school. My nephew dispensed with after school care when he was 9 and spent his afternoons either alone at home or cycling around the neighbourhood: noone who knew about it thought it in the least irresponsible, and indeed my nephew is probably as much of a PFB as you could find anywhere. Also noticed that it was considered normal that dd's 11yo friends went to the beach without adult supervision; nobody seemed worried by the thought that there might be men on the beach.

cory - interesting. Are you living in Sweden?

I wonder whether it is something to do with the fact that men are less commonly in charge or looking after children in the UK. Hence seeing men interacting with children raises suspicion in the UK but not in Sweden and other European countries.

I come from Sweden, BeenBeeta, and have all my extended family there (including several young nieces and nephews) and spend a few months there every year. Both my dcs are bilingual and during the summer months pretty well roam free with their Swedish friends and cousins.

i had my mum phone me up a few weeks ago to tell me how many peado's there were living in each area near to me as now you can check this on the internet. i said to her what shall i do go and knock on all their doors? we all know they are out there and have to be careful with our children, but i fail to see what point she wanted to make with me...