to believe there are always 2 sides to a story

[cumfy]

When someone tells me a tale of their recent woes/incidents/disputes w others, I invariably find myself wondering:

Hmmm, but what would the other person be saying ?

I feel this is entirely natural, but, for instance, on a recent AIBU thread many people seem to be of the opinion that being curious to the version of the other person is tantamount to labelling the original account as lies:

this thread is about the OP, she is the Original Poster after all.... we must presume everyone is telling the truth, otherwise what is the point?

Cannot believe OP being called a bitch, having her story made out to be lies

So are there always 2 sides to the story or am I missing something ?

Generally, who do you believe and why ?

PS I'm not trying to make a thread about a thread. I'm just trying to illustrate that in general there are clearly people who take an entirely opposing view.

Yes, there are always two sides to a story. But I think personally that if someone is posting for sympathy or encouragement, then they should be given it without being question too much, at least initially.

Unless they post in AIBU

I generally start to think like that when there are a whole series of things that need explaining independently, if that makes sense.
So x happened which was X person's fault, and the reason x could happen was that Y person had previously done y. And that has to be taken in the context of Y having previously done z. And it would all have been OK if Q hadn't then got involved and stuck up for X but that was only because x is friends with P. T also thinks I am being unreasonable but then T would say that because of when k happened.

There are approx 13 sides to each story, which will be invariably added to by the chinese whispers retelling of the said story.

Which thread is your eg about? I must know.

depends - if the "story" is "I am being beaten by my spouse" then no, the other side is null and void....

My eg? Or the OP's eg?
Sorry to disappoint if you are talking about mine but my eg was completely and totally made up. I expect something very similar has cropped up on more than one occasion though!

The threads that always make me think about two sides of any story are MIL threads and "My child said X happened - how can I go about sueing/thumping/disciplining the teacher/other parent/random stranger involved?"

Sorry the OPs eg, I love your explanation, you need to turn it into a mathematical equation annec, you'd be a miwionaire

Agent

I really don't want to be "accused" of flaming/inflaming.

All I will say is that our mutual friend Google, has particularly useful trick that when you put a specific direct quote of more than 5 or 6 words it tends to end up returning few highly specific results eg "a very flamingo barking quotation thing".

And those are direct quotes.

.

Sometimes, or very occassionaly Starlight ?

i think it's true that on the internet, if someone posts asking for an opinion we have to presume they are giving the whole story.

otherwise there is no point posting at all.
but i think it should be clear to everyone that the opinion being given is based purely on what you have been told.

i don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask what the other person involved thinks or feels though, this happens a lot on here and i've never before seen it cause a problem.

Nope, that went totally over my head cumfy

There are as many sides as people involved. And usually a few more.

Agent I've messaged you.

Starlight LA ?

hehe cumfy, I totally stand by my first post

Yes. Except when the other person is lying. Or deluded.

Of course sometimes the OP is lying or deluded, but pointless to chase that tail!

thisisyes

Naturally there are a multitude of opinions. Thats a given.

I'm really talking about some specific event and 2 or more peoples account of that event.

yes sorry, i mean the people giving their opinion have to base that on what they have been told, or assume it is the truth

and remember that people often want an opinion of a situation how they see it. so the other person's side may be irrelevant in that iyswim?

laweaselmys

I take it you mean yes there is only one side ??

This seems to be the problem; even fairly rational people have an agenda and a set of values and when even minor trouble strikes its surprising how these tend to distort their recollection and interpretation of events.

You clearly disagree with this.

But what is your alternative analysis ?