To say no presents for dd

[Dancergirl]

Dd's 4th birthday is coming up. We haven't planned a party yet but as she is at nursery and is starting to have her own friends we will probably arrange a party, maybe an entertainer in a hall.

She's the youngest of 3 girls - my older two are 9 and 7.5 so as you can imagaine we have a houseful of toys (and clothes!). Typically with a 3rd child, dd3 watches what her sisters play and already likes Barbies, My Little Pony, Polly Pocket etc so nothing like that is new to her.

I'm tempted to put 'no presents please' or suggest a donation to charity on the party invitations but I feel a bit mean for her that she won't have a pile of presents to open. And will people be offended if I do that?

YANBU in my opinion. I can see why she doesn't need any more toys, but maybe you could ask everyone for books, if she likes them, as they don't take up too much room! I did this for my son's birthday (4th) and he didn't seem to notice that all his presents were books!

Whilst children are individual, they still need to be treated the same in lots of areas. My little sis hated being the younger one, having second hand toys and clothes in the main and really resented it espcially as we had polar opposites in dress sense. When I was old enough to work, I regularly used to treat her to new things as it didnt seem fair.

I only have the one child but if we ever changed our minds and have another apart from a favourite toy I wouldnt do the hand me down thing as its very unfair.

Have a good clear out and make room, dont deny her presents and send the message that its ok for her siblings to have new things but as shes the youngest she doesnt need her own presents.

Oh kveta that is bad, and I can see that would still rankle.

I had to swap presents with my elder sister, if she wanted what I had . My mum would make me, to keep the peace, as she could not deal with my sister's aggression. I still mind.

You will be seen as snooty/miserable/weird/uppity/overy-serious/a loon if you put 'donations to charity on the invite.

It's not a bloody celebrity wedding!

Let your 4 year old have her pile of plastic and stop being mean - you can give it to charity a few months later.

I can understand exactly where you're coming from, and I do think these whole class parties seem like a commercial transaction.
In the end I didn't say 'no presents' but even now 6 months later, many are still in a bag unused (craft-type things that need adult help and no toddler around to do... so we get about one a month done ).

The party was the thing for DD, not the presents, it was all about the party.

YABU.

She's 4, opening a big pile of presents is a big deal. Banning presents for one child is a recipe for sibling resentment.

Do parents of invitees not ask you for ideas ? You could suggest books, or maybe consumable craft items like card or glue sticks.