to be peed off with both parents and inlaws?

[Roz14]

Hi all

Sorry to moan but feeling really upset and pissed off! My DD is now just over 2 weeks old and I have still not registered her name. Mainly because I am being constantly put off the names I have given my daughter. As you may have been aware on a previous thread, I originally called my daughter Esther but my mum at first didn't say anything then went reeling off all the negative things she associates with the name - as did some other people I know! I then didn't feel confident calling her that name so changed it to Florence. Now my in laws or going on about how much they dislike it which really upsets me. I know I shouldnt be influenced but I am finding it really difficult

Congratulations!

YANBU but just tell everyone to bog off. Once they have got used to DD's name, they will forget whatever prejudices they had with the name once they get to know her.

Just don't forget to check out what acronyms her initials have...

YANBU at al.
It is for this very reason that I refused to discuss my name choice with MIL when I was pregnant with ds2 as there were a few at the beginning I said I liked and her and SIL were all ooh no don't like that.
So in the end it was tough we chose a name we liked and told everyone what we were calling him not giving the oppertunity to say they didn't like it because that was his name end of.

Choose what you like forget eveyone else. FWIW I like Florence such a pretty name.

I like both names, especially Esther. You and your husband need to decide on a name and stick with it. If your relatives are rude then avoid them, or tell them that if they can't say something nice about your daughter to not say anything.

For goodness' sake, it's your child, not theirs. Just go to the register office, put down your choice of name (what's wrong with Esther?) and present a fait accompli. Ask three people for an opinion and you'll get three opinions. Ask no-one for an opinion, they'll grumble for a bit and then they'll realise it's pointless and shut up.

When I called my son the name I chose my mother's response was 'But I don't know anyone called !' 'You do now mother!!' was the reply.

Poor you. Get your baby registered as Esther Florence and ignore everyone else. Both lovely names.

If you want to call your daughter Esther, then go for it. This is the name you orginally picked, go register her that. However, if you now prefer Florence, no problem with changing your mind! What does your DP think? Which name do you think she suits best?

I think if you have family so difficult that they will complain about their DGDs name, rather than be excited (esp as both names are quite 'normal'), then you won't be able to please them. They've had their go at naming their children, it's your turn. Go register her birth, inform them what their DGD is called, if they don't like it, then tell them tough, you have just given birth, they should be supporting you, not nagging you.

(I personally prefer Esther, becuase I've not met any Esther's, but then all the Florence's I know are very lovely little girls)

And congratulations!

The biggest challenge is to find a name both you and dh love, once you have, job done, ignore everyone else.

You will never please everyone with your name choices. Your mother and ILs have been very rude in their comments, especially to a new mum; they will come to love whatever name you give her because they will associate it with dd.

Fwiw, both Esther and Florence are beautiful.

Which do you and dh prefer?

BTW... cave in on the name and it's a slippery slope. Some will see it as a cue to bully you on other aspects of the child's upbringing as well. Practice the phrase.... 'she's my daughter, not yours'... with feeling.

my mother freaked when we told her what ds1 was going to be called - for some reason she had it in her head that we were going to use another boy's name (one of umpteen that came up in discussion when she was trying to push her name choices get it out of us in advance). She was really quite vocal about it not being a proper name and nobody had a boy called that (apart from the one very famous one in the bible, not that we chose it for religious reasons!).

Anyhow, a month down the line, she suddenly knew another 7 babies with the same - other friends' grandchildren, son of the golf pro, one of the hairdressers etc etc. Then vered between preening to the others 'oh, that's what my gs is already called' and telling us that we'd chosen a name that was much too common. Argh. can't win!

When my dsis had one of her dd, mum had rung up to tell me the baby was born and sis was in hospital. When I asked what the name was going to be she said that they (ie dsis and bil) were thinking about xxx but she (ie mum) thought it was ridiculous, a dog's name and she knew lots of people who called their dogs by this name. I merely said 'I hope you didn't actually SAY that to them, just thought it' but no, she'd said it, she thought she was doing them a favour .

Instead dsis worried herself silly for about a month about what to call the baby in case she upset my mum - and wondering whether or not to change from the name that she and her dh really liked.

If she had been planning to call her dd Doggychops or Rex or some other such name that is really only a dog's name then maybe my mum might have had a point. However it is a perfectly nice girls name that might occasionally have been used for a dog - along with loads of other girls (and boys) names that get used for dogs (and cats, rabbits, budgies and all sorts of pets). Hell if you didn't use any name that had ever been used as a dog's name then you don't get left with many names!

BIL decided best way to get back at her is to call his next dog by my mum's name, so she too will then have a dog's name

Totally agree with everyone else on here, find a name you and your DH love and call your DD it, ignore everyone else.

With our DD2 (and the ones that followed) we told NO ONE her name until she was born and announced her birth with her name, I honestly couldn't care less who liked it as long as DP and I did.

MIL said "well as long as it's healthy" later on she did say she wasn't keen on teh name to start with but she loved it now and it suited DD2. My Mum said "what kind of name is that? Where did you get it from?" erm the bible!

I think it is plain rude to be so horrid about a name that a baby has been given, names are very personal.

YANBU to be pissed off- why do people think it's acceptable to bitch about what others call their DC? We all have our own opinions but it's really rude imo to sound off about a name you know someone has chosen for their newborn.

Pick the name, register it and if anyone starts up again hang up the phone/walk away.

I like both names.

Eshter is my favourite of the two as a first name, but if you call her Esther Florence, then you can choose either as her familiar name.

Don't listen to your mother or anyone else - you've chosen names that will sound elegant, beautiful and clever at the same time, for all ages your DD will be.

God, why are some (most!) parents like this

One short sentence, OP:

"Tough! You'll get used to it!"

Ignore both sets of parents! They had their shot when they had their own DC - your turn now, you call your lovely DD whatever you like and Congratulations btw. :)

Think very carefully about what you both (you & DP that is!!) like. Register her and tell them that is her name - if they say anything just tell them to get over used to it as that is what she is called - end of.

There have been several threads on here where people have been pressured to call their DC something else and how they still want to change it to what they originally wanted (some have!)... don't settle on what they like - you wont just 'get used to it' you will resent it - she is your daughter - you decide - else it it the slippery slope to them thinking they can have a say in every decision you make.

And remember that you will be saying (and hearing) this name millions and millions of times from now on. needs to be something you really like. Not them.

To you she'll always be Esther so bite the bullet and make it official. Esther Florence is beautiful :) Many many congratulations :)

You sound like you need to grow up tbh, stop trying to please everyone else you never will!

What ChippinIn says - there may be several battles discussions to come about any other aspect of parenting. Set the tone now. Thank them for their input, but you've decided on xxx. Love both names btw!

And zipzap - you mentioned DS1's name! Doggychops is settling in really well now in Year 1.

Really - you MUST learn to ignore your in laws and parents otherwise they will try and rule the way you bring up your child for ever - congratulations on your lovely baby girl, please register the name you and DH like the best. Your parents and in laws need to treat you both like grown ups, they are not doing so at the moment.

my inlaws said that the name i chose for ds2 was ..i quote 'gay' and 'im not calling him in for tea when he gets older can you imagine it ha haha'

i told hem i was sticking to it

get a backbone love, cos your gonna need it.

When I told my mum what my son was called she didn´t like it & thought I would change it.

I told her I wasn´t asking her if I should call him that or not,merely informing her of his name.

Esther & Florence are both lovely.

Which do you & your husband prefer?