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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the health visitor is OTT?

58 replies

CeeCee123 · 21/09/2010 18:00

DD is 8 weeks old and had a weight check today. HV asked me if I thought she was growing/developing and I said that she was definitely growing but not as fast as DS. Both are/were only breastfed. He was 4 weeks early but had a massive growth spurt (gaining about 400g a week for about a month - he did nothing but EAT!). DD was full term and has been gaining weight at a much more typical pace and is sticking to the 25th percentile.

She then asked me if I expressed milk to make sure that there was a good supply. I told her that if anything, I've had more of an over supply than an undersupply. I also told her that I pumped enough for DH to give her a bottle about 11pm, and that she then will generally sleep until 5am.

The HV then informed me that I should really consider getting up at about 2am to give the baby another night feed and that this could "really make the difference" in terms of her gaining weight. She seemed to be suggesting that it was important to get her off the 25th percentile and that I shouldn't let her sleep so long. I did point out that she was tracking to the 25th percentile and I've always been under the impression that as long as the baby holds their curve, there is no need to worry. She just kept insisting that I should wake the baby in the middle of the night to fit in another feed.

DD is a very contented baby. When she is awake she is alert, smiley and very lovely. She does not feed nearly as often as DS I would have given one of my organs for DS to have slept for so long at 8 weeks. As it is, my day starts at 5 to feed her and then get up with 3yo DS who is raring to go by 6 so I'm not exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of a 2am wake up alarm. AIBU to think that the HV is OTT and to let sleeping babies lie??

OP posts:
2andcounting · 21/09/2010 18:05

let baby sleep most def Smile

choufleur · 21/09/2010 18:07

Let her sleep.And you. Mad HV.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/09/2010 18:10

I think she's mad.

Rosedee · 21/09/2010 18:11

Oh it's bollocks isn't it! If YOU and I mean you not the hv think she needs more food then give her another feed during the day. Doesn't have to be at night fgs. And if you are happy then carry on as you are. Congratulations x

FunkyCherry · 21/09/2010 18:12

Got my 12wk old weighed today.
I've had her weighed quite a bit as people make comments about how small she is since she was 3wks early. Sleeps 5 - 6 hours at night.
She's always been between the 2nd and 9th centile lines.
HV just made some encouraging comment about how consistant she is :)

This is my first and I'm just learning, but sounds like your DD is doing fine.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/09/2010 18:12

Ignore her.

You know you don't have to see them, don't you?

Or if you want the quiet life, just tell her you're doing it! Grin

pozzled · 21/09/2010 18:12

HV is talking nonsense. Ignore and do what works for you.

Marjee · 21/09/2010 18:14

You know your baby better than anyone, she would let you know if she needed another feed. The health visitor is talking nonsense!

Fwiw I tried waking ds for a feed a few times when he was newborn on mws advice and it was impossible to wake him! Just keep doing what you're doing, it sounds like you're doing a great job Smile

AMumInScotland · 21/09/2010 18:18

Ignore her - HVs unfortunately come in a variety of "usefulnesses". Mine were worse than useless, talked garbage, and made me feel bad. But I have heard that some are actually good!

If she is talking nonsense, which she is in this case, feel free to ignore her. If your DD is following a centile, and is alert and generally healthy, then disturbing her sleep in the hope of forcing her to get fatter is beyone pointless.

Theincrediblesulk1 · 21/09/2010 18:20

What so she cant just be a smaller baby! She is on the 25th not 5th percentile, Why is it important for her to be bigger in the normal range?

Don't listen do what you feel is right xx

tyler80 · 21/09/2010 18:21

My sister was told the same, that she should be waking her daughter and not letting her sleep through the night even though she was born and remaining on the 95th percentile. So HV is just being batty I think and YANBU

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/09/2010 18:23

HVs are bloody bonkers and frankly useless.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

susitwoshoes · 21/09/2010 18:27

same as everyone else really - and for what it's worth, a friend was told to do the same thing and her DS's sleep went right out the window - and he didn't put on any more weight!

My DD was born on the 9th, dropped down a bit the went back and then up to the 25th where she has stayed ever since (she's 9 months). EBF till 6 months when we started solids. And no-one has ever given me a moment's grief about her weight.

She sounds lovely! So you're obviously doing things right.

neverenoughMEtime · 21/09/2010 19:05

They said the same about my DD1, she was just under the 25th centile but followed that the whole time. I would ignore (i did), definately dont wake her and enjoy your sleep! My DD is still skinny but very healthy, its just the way they are meant to be!

warthog · 21/09/2010 19:07

off her rocker. ignore.

loveinsuburbia · 21/09/2010 19:16

Oh dear, another HV who doesn't understand how centiles work. A quarter of healthy babies need to be on the 25th centile or below. Some HVs seem to think that all babies are supposed to be on the 50th.

You don't need to wake a baby to feed once they've regained their birthweight. Feeding a baby overnight does stimulate milk production the best because your prolactin levels are highest in the early hours of the morning - I wonder if she's heard that somewhere and it's stuck in her head.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 21/09/2010 19:27

She's talking twaddly-bollocks. If your DD weren't tracking her centile line she'd probably be talking twaddly-bollocks, but as it is she is completely clueless. Enjoy your sleeping, happy and healthy baby!

Anenome · 21/09/2010 19:34

Stupid cow....leave the baby to sleep! had a HV who tut tutted because my DD lost a bit of weight in her frst few days...THEY'RE MEANT TO! THe same HV said "What religion shall I put down" and I said none...and she said "Oh just put Church of England" I was like er...no! Eventually I told her to get out! There's loads of them that are crackers!

sanfair · 21/09/2010 19:35

If your baby's happy, healthy and gaining weight steadily then I don't see any reason to initiate a 2am feed.

At DS's last weigh in, I got told off for having a 'very overweight' baby because he had jumped up a line and was told in no uncertain terms to cut his feeds.
I pointed out that while he's a big baby (98th percentile) but he's hardly got any fat.
She then measured his height and told me: 'Oh right, he's just the right weight.'

If I had listened to this woman, I'd be busy starving DS now on her advice Angry

Sure, they're the professionals and I'd always consider what your HV has to say but they're also human and get it wrong.

whatagradeA · 21/09/2010 19:40

I agree with everyone else that your HV is bonkers. But as an aside, the baby also doesn't have to be following the curve to be ok. My dd had a plateau for a few weeks and the HV tried to tell me to top up with formula. DD wasn't losing weight and was absolutely fine - just doing her own thing and soon picked back up to her original centile without my doing anything different.

mumbar · 21/09/2010 19:43

I'd let her sleep presonally. DS slept 10-5 at 8 weeks and it hasn't affected him Wink

MichaelaFinnigan · 21/09/2010 19:43

That's just crazy talk. Ignore her.

mumbar · 21/09/2010 19:44

And if we all fed fed fed our babies the 25% percentile would still be there just heavier Grin

elinorbellowed · 21/09/2010 19:46

If she doesn't wake she's not hungry, she doesn't need it. Ignore.

Tippychoocks · 21/09/2010 19:48

I have a friend who still consults her HV regarding her (pefectly healthy) 6yo and 3yo. All the time.
Other than the big developmental (that hearing one and the pointless block stacking one) checks I have not been once. You don't have to see them or listen to them if they are talking twaddle - tis not the law Grin

Mumbar, excellent point Grin

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