to actually cancel dd1's birthday party

[ditavonteesed]

sha is being a nasty brat, so horrid to dd2, hitting her generally being nasty, I have been telling her for weeks that it is going to be csancelled and keeping a track of her behaviour, party is on sunday. tell me it is too mean because I am trying so hard to give her every chance to behave and not get it cancelled.

Never threaten something that you will not carry through.

I cancelled my son's 7th birthday party this year after repeated bad behaviour at school over a number of weeks. It broke my heart to do it as he was so upset but I stuck to my guns and I think it taught him a lesson. On the day we just went for a pizza at pizza hut with his grandma as his behaviour had improved but I refused to back down and let him have his party.

I am sure it did teach him a lesson

but it must have been very hard

It was extremely hard but the final straw was when he threw a rock at another boy's head leaving a gash. Fortunately the boy didn't have to go to hospital but I had to take decisive action. (I would like to add at this point before anyone thinks that my son is a little terror that the school implemented help from the behaviour support team and his behaviour has dramatically improved!!)

I remember my dd sobbing hysterically for hours because her friend's mum had cancelled her dd's party to discipline her. My dd had been looking forward to it for weeks and couldn't understand what she had done to have her treat taken away. Personally, I try never to use any discipline that is also involves letting other children down. If you have invited someone then imho you are duty bound to entertain them unless circumstances outside of your control arise.

You may have to do it if this is what you have threatened- but some of the other children (and mums) may not exactly love you for it. If your dd has social problems already, I would be wary of any discipline that is likely to make her less popular. Less popular may mean even more difficult to handle at home.