to think "hmm... shant go out for lunch with you again"

[OnlyWantsOne]

Some friends of ours and DP and I went out for Sunday lunch yesterday to a pub.

We have a child. They do not.

We all (4 adults) had a main dinner
Child had childs portion of adult dinner, at 1/2 price
We they then shared a desert between them whilst we had 2 deserts between us.

Plus 1 round of drinks...

bill came to over 75

they put £20 on the table and then in the confusion of leaving etc, took DD out to run round in garden, I paid the bloody balance

so... they paid effective 10 each... and I paid 20 each for the adults and a £5 for DD's roast... am I being a grumpy tight arse?

What is the problem with saying next time you speak to them that "By the way, you still owe me £xx for lunch the other day- the bill was seventy quid and you only left one twenty pound note rather than two, you know?"

So you had a desert and a childs meal more than they did? But you paid £35 more than they did?

They are taking the piss

I think I would have paid the bill and gone back to them and said "I hope you're not expecting any change - the bill came to £75!"

Slightly copping out, but hopefully, if they were being sly, it would shame them into coughing up. If it was a genuine mistake, it would give them a chance to make it right.

hhha DP said when we next go to theirs (they always order take away) we wont take any cash, or maybe a 10 and say that sorry we havent got any more but thanks )

Any chance they made a mistake and thought they had put 3 X £10 notes on the table?

I can't imagine any pub where you could get two glasses of wine, a dessert and 2 main meals for £20. If they are money aware they must know that too.

See I don't get it, you then go out to where everyone is ans say, hey the bill was bigger than expected I need an extra tenner (or whatever) from you to cover it.

You should have spoke up.

Oh they sound money aware alright,as in they knew exactly what they were doing.
They are probably the sort that will walk up to the bar with you to order their drinks, and then 'suddenly' need to visit the loo!
I got caught like that once, just the once tho!

YADDDNBU - we had friends like this. Dropped like hot shit. Cheeky buggers.

This has happened to me several times. Once with BIL and his family who all had starters, expensive main course (fresh fish) and alcohol. Whilst we had a pizza x3 and a soft drink each. They split the bill of over £130 while we stood there quietly shocked, and like plums paid the half.
Recently I went out with a work colleague who earns treble what I earn (and still lives with parents) and she too had a starter, main course and wine. While I had a sandwich and coke, she put down £7, Yes really!! while I put down the other £10 plus a tip.
My answer to both scenarios was you live and learn, and never again

YANBU- What awful friends.
I wouldn't go out again with them if I were you.

I'm glad I've never had that problem. On the rare occurance that I eat out with friends, everyone sort of automatically splits up the bill, so you pay for what you owe plus tip. The only problem is when someone only has a 20 pound note and their food cost £8.

I didn't know people could be so tight when it comes to things like that.

I like the idea that you pay for what you order. Because when I go out in a group Im always a driver, I dont drink, so I get a tad miffed that I have to pay a share of the bar tab when Ive drunk 1 coke and they've had 3 bottles of wine etc between them

Am I just a grumpy old cow??

we always halve the bill when we go out, i would offer more if we went out with friends with only 1 child, not two, or if we had wine but they didnt, but i never ask for more if they have more children or had wine, its swings and roundabouts. go out with them again, you leave £20 and walk off and see what they say!

YADNBU, but you probably should have just spoken up at the time - if you mention it now it will make it a big deal...so you need to decide whether it's worth it.

It's not worth asking for them to pay more, maybe If I had said some thing at the time - then it would be ok.

I will not be going out for dinner with them again though, I CBA to be treated like that, I now feel peeved about it.

I think its OK to pay for your own. When I go out with friend for lunch hers is always more as she has 2 dcs and sometimes dsc too. I have 1 DS and I'm a single parent.

Sometimes when we go out just us 2 and the 3 dc's I will pay a little more to help e.g £20 note put in when mines £15/16 depends on my money situation. If mines £9 then I'll just play £10 and some xtra for a tip iyswim.

But paying 75% of the bill when your only 60% of the party is ridiculous - especially when 1's a child.

I can't imagine anyone would behave like that, so I'm assuming they thought they put down 2 20s or 3 10s. Just a genuine mistake, and they'd be pretty embarrassed if they realised what had happened.

I mean, I don't get it - if they're friends of yours and don't have previous form like this, why jump to the worst conclusion?

I'd have just said something when I came back from paying, like, 'the bill was X so you actually owe me another Y - sorry!'

We need Expat on this thread - she has great advice re tightarses.

YANBU to be miffed but maybe to not go out again.
I think it's better to either split or pay your own - anything else is just confusing. Personally, I'd have split 5 ways so they'd have paid £30 and we'd have paid £45. But many people would do half/half. I find all this stuff really annoying. I often refuse to get involved in bill settling & just pay what I'm told to. I can't bear mithering over the minutae of a bill. All that 'but you had a side order of mushrooms and I only had one wine' - argh!!

YANBU - but it's not really the kind of thing you bring up after the fact as you say.

I usually don't drink anywhere near my 'share' of booze on a night out, but I'm absolutely fine splitting the bill with my nearest and dearest (mostly because more often than not they will pay the tip or add extra if they've been drinking), but I often find with big groups (sports teams etc) that almost everyone seems to feel they're getting a bit screwed.

I had a friend at school who would wait until we had all paid our share of the bill, usually tipping quite generously as we all did waitressing and felt sorry for the staff. She'd add up the cash and then see that the bill was already covered and add a tiny amount or nothing at all . Cheeky but genius!

I think she had that beaten out of her at uni

Oh that's my major hate, tightwads.

When we are out in a group, the person who doesn't drink booze never gets asked to pay for any drinks, even soft drinks.

Been stung loads by one particular friend, she always orders and eats treble the amount of food and booze. I feel sorry for her though, she is huge and miserable so the greed doesn't get her anywhere.

I hate this too, we have some friends that have used their card at the end of the meal when the rest of us have paid cash plus tip, they then just paid the balance. We were furious but never said a word.

We've been friends for years and almost always lost out!

We now go to places that have a set menu price and then go to the bar for our own drinks - saves the confrontation that we know we'll never have, (although last time they were £3 short of £30 bill and we all just let them go to a cashpoint! this was another thing they used to do - not take enough money for the night out!)

Yanbu but you need to decide if their friendship is worth this quite considerable flaw

I don't think you're being unreasonable for feeling badly done by, but I would be interested to know how your financial/age situation compares? Is it possible that it was perhaps understood by them that they were being taken out for lunch by friends?

When I was skinter younger, my sis and her bf often used to treat me and DH to lunch and we'd put in a twenty or a ten or whatever we could afford, and sometimes they'd accept but not always.

Could this possibly be the case here, except obviously your friends badly misjudge both your generosity, your intentions and possibly your financial situation?

This sort of happened to me once on a girls weekend away.

We had gone to a restaurant in Dublin before getting the plane home. There was about 12 of us (40th birthday weekend).

Bill comes, so we put our money in and the bill gets passed up the table.

Anyway, 6 of the people at the top of the table hi-tail it out of the restaurant. Me, I am Mrs.. slow coach, getting my coat, bag etc. See the waiters counting the money 2, 3 times.

I go over to the staff and ask if anything is wrong - the money was £20 short (basically it was minus the service charge, which was a bit cheeky as there where 12 of us, we had not booked, the food was lovely and the waiting staff really nice).

Now down at our end of the table, we had divided the bill by 12 so we knew how much to put in. The top end had then decided not to pay service charge and put in less.

I paid the £20 out of my own pocket, but was so shocked they would stiff the waiting staff and run off I confronted the 6 at the top end of the table and told them what miserable people they where.

Sorry for being so long winded OP. YANBU.