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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have stormed out of Netto in a huff because they wouldn't sell me wine

115 replies

LizzieMint73 · 20/09/2010 15:38

Ooh I am so cross. Today I made a special trip to Netto to buy Oyster Bay wine which is on special offer (is normally £9 but they are selling it at a fiver a bottle).

The checkout girl asked for ID on the instruction of the manager who was working on the next till. When I'd picked myself up off the floor (I'm 37 and probably older than both of them) I realised in horror, that no I could not prove my age. I had credit cards and a works ID with photo, but nothing with my date of birth on - they just repeated loads of nonsense parrot fashion over and over that if they let me buy the wine they would lose their jobs and get fined. Worse thing was that they probably accepted that I was over 18 but they would not allow me to buy the wine because I could not prove I was over 25. They would not accept my arguement that no law was being broken because they were happy I was legally able to buy alcohol.

At this point I just said that I didn't have time for this and stormed out leaving the wine and a few other bits on the belt.

I don't like carrying my driving licence because if my bag got nicked they would have my address and my house keys so would have to get the locks changed etc. Similiary, I dont want to have to carry my passport in case it gets lost/stolen.

I accept that I might look more like in my early 30s than late 30s but I think that is more due to many other people looking really old for their age, rather than me looking younger. There is no way that I look under 25 and I think it is a bit much that I have to prove my age. This is the second time this has happended recently and no, it is not a compliment, it is a bloody pain in the arse.

OP posts:

MummyDayAndNightCare · 22/09/2010 10:12

And Sainsburys have Oyster Bay on offer at the mo and 5% off if you buy 6.

It is yum!!

Cammelia · 22/09/2010 10:23

As its not compulsory to carry ID in this country (unlike many other countries) I shall carry on not doing so. Why does anyone need to know who I am unless its the police questioning me about an alleged offence?

tokyonambu · 22/09/2010 10:31

My No2ID tee-shirt is in the wardrobe. However:

"Why does anyone need to know who I am unless its the police questioning me about an alleged offence?"

When you need to prove your age. Which is an intractable problem so long as we have objects which can be sold to some adults (18y1d) but not other adults (17y364d), and so long as young women are looking older, older women are looking younger, fill in your options here. My 14yo daughter is 5'11", and is routinely (for example) offered wine in restaurants when the waiter is pouring. So long as society at large wants to restrict alcohol (and other) sales to 18+, the collateral damage is that everyone who looks vaguely teen-aged in the eyes of other teenagers (who make up a disproportionate slice of people selling booze) is going to be collateral damage. They don't care who you are: they just need to know your age.

popsycal · 22/09/2010 10:48

both dh and i occasionally get asked for ID. we are both 36.

he finds it insulting...I laugh and explain I have legally been allowed to buy alcohol for half of my life so they will understand how old i am....rather than attempt the tricky maths, they just serve me

yama · 22/09/2010 10:57

My husband was asked for id last week. He is 32, was with 5 year old dd and has grey hair at the sides.

When he got home and told me I was on the phone speaking with my Mum. How we laughed.

I dont like being asked as I always feel it's like being accused of being dishonest.

Cammelia · 22/09/2010 10:57

Well I guess the next time I might be asked to prove my age will be when I qualify for senior citizen discounts.
On second thoughts, how bad would it be not to have to in that circumstance

Cammelia · 22/09/2010 10:59

"I dont like being asked as I always feel it's like being accused of being dishonest"

Agree yama, its that civil liberties aspect that I so detest. Guilty until proven inncoent. Particularly when it is bleedin' obvious.

tokyonambu · 22/09/2010 11:01

"I dont like being asked as I always feel it's like being accused of being dishonest."

The problem is, you have no need to be dishonest as you're over 18. People who want to buy booze under 18 do have such an incentive, and have already crossed the line by trying to buy it.

yama · 22/09/2010 11:05

Yes, I guess part of the guilt is that I bought a lot of alcohol when I was 16 and 17. I think I was id'd once and that was by a bouncer on the way into a pub rather than at the point of sale.

I haven't dishonestly bought booze since.

yama · 22/09/2010 11:07

This thread has certainly opened my eyes regarding id cards by stealth.

People do sleepwalk into these things don't they?

funkychunkymunky · 22/09/2010 11:10

I don't understand why anyone would refuse to sell to someone who is clearly old enough just because they have someone younger with them. If they serve the older person and that person gives the alcohol to the younger person, the person committing the offence Is the person buying. The seller wouldn't have done anything wrong.
Of course, it would be grounds to refuse if they had seen you outside being mobbed by a bunch of kids then you bought 20 litres of White lightening...

NordicPrincess · 22/09/2010 11:17

i got id`d for rizla

Anniegetyourgun · 22/09/2010 11:23

I guess the answer to that is, then, if you are buying alcohol for someone they can't legally serve, you don't stand in the queue with them. Basically what it implies is that they don't trust the legal alcohol buyer to behave responsibly, which is, or should be, none of their damned business. What next, are we to carry around a notarised statement that there are no under-18s in our household before being allowed to carry a bottle home?

Although I fancy a nice drop of Baileys once in a blue moon, and a bottle of wine to share with the (over 18!) offspring at Christmas, it wouldn't bother me much to give it up. But any shop pulling that kind of stunt would lose my custom forever, on principle.

tokyonambu · 22/09/2010 11:24

"If they serve the older person and that person gives the alcohol to the younger person, the person committing the offence Is the person buying. The seller wouldn't have done anything wrong. "

Anyway (a) it's entirely legal to serve alcohol to your own children in your own house (see here: licensing law only applies to licensed premises) and (b) it's entirely legal for 16 and 17 year olds to drink wine, cider or beer at meals in restaurants so long as someone over 18 is present at the table (Licensing Act 2003, S.150(4), S.149(5)). So for parents it's all e

The argument might be advanced that A, 15 gives B, 35 a fiver and asks them to by a couple of cans, B is acting as A's agent so the supply is direct from the shop to A; the transaction isn't a genuine one of B buying the stuff and then re-selling it to A. But I don't think that's been in a court to test it: does anyone know?

The supermarkets signed up to Check 25 or whatever it's called because they wanted to stay onside with a government that was suddenly regretting its ludicrous "cafe culture" legislation (which has made city centres into war zones) and muttering about clamping down. Off licenses in supermarkets are huge money-spinners and imposition of, say, a personal license holder having to supervise all sales would kill the shops stone dead. Hence the over-zealous guidance to distract the government.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/09/2010 11:27

So now we've had a change of government, why haven't they dropped it?

ShesEverSoFamous · 22/09/2010 11:29

I always carry ID as I'm used to being asked for it, I feel out with a woman behind the till in the CO-OP last year when I was in with MIL.
MIL was buying a bottle of champagne to celebrate BIL engagement, I was being served at another till getting my own bits and bobs and heard the cashier saying to MIL "I can't sell you that, I saw you walking around with her (pointed right at me ) it might be for her."
I was raging, I really do not appreciate someone sticking their finger right in my face, and asked if she was going to play by those rules surely it would make sense to ask if I had ID before going through the dramatic act.
She looked horrified that she could possibly be wrong, at this point we left out shopping and walked out.
Some people must be on a major power trip.

tokyonambu · 22/09/2010 11:36

"So now we've had a change of government, why haven't they dropped it?"

A quarrel had arisen between the Horse and the Stag, so the Horse came to a Hunter to ask his help to take revenge on the Stag. The Hunter agreed, but said: "If you desire to conquer the Stag, you must permit me to place this piece of iron between your jaws, so that I may guide you with these reins, and allow this saddle to be placed upon your back so that I may keep steady upon you as we follow after the enemy." The Horse agreed to the conditions, and the Hunter soon saddled and bridled him. Then with the aid of the Hunter the Horse soon overcame the Stag, and said to the Hunter: "Now, get off, and remove those things from my mouth and back."

"Not so fast, friend," said the Hunter. "I have now got you under bit and spur, and prefer to keep you as you are at present."

FiveOrangePips · 22/09/2010 11:44

I am also 37 and have been asked for proof of age, I was both embarrassed and totally happy, told everyone I knew.

I did laugh at the person who asked me, I said but I am 37! She wasn't convinced, the lighting must be pretty flattering in that store. It made my summer, I am quite short though and I think my height makes me seem younger than I am, I have always had trouble with it, but when I got asked for ID a couple of years ago I thought that would be the last time.

I told the assistant I was very flattered and she had made my day -year- .
Enjoy it whilst it lasts!

Anniegetyourgun · 22/09/2010 11:55

But in that fable, the Hunter had gained an advantage which he was loath to give up. What is the advantage to shops of continuing to annoy their customers and turn down sales?

Saltire · 22/09/2010 12:01

I have always said that this is ID by stealth.
It is
A) Not illegal for anyone over the age of 18 to buy alcohol
B) it is not law that we have to carry ID
C) The governemnt are always telling us that we need to be careful to prevent ID fraud, and yet it seems we now to have a passport or driving licence and, more to the point carry them aorund all the time

citizens over the age of 18 feel like criminals for trying to buy something they are legally entiteld to buy.

funkychunkymunky · 22/09/2010 12:06

"The argument might be advanced that A, 15 gives B, 35 a fiver and asks them to by a couple of cans, B is acting as A's agent so the supply is direct from the shop to A; the transaction isn't a genuine one of B buying the stuff and then re-selling it to A. But I don't think that's been in a court to test it: does anyone know?"

It would be dealt with as a simple case of B supplying alcohol to A. The shop couldn't reasonably know that B was buying alcohol as A's agent unless it was stated to them or they had seen A giving money to B to buy it.

What next? Shall shops refuse to sell kitchen knives to people if they are at the till with their children. Can you only buy glue if you are alone or with people over 18 (that can all prove their ages?)

I think where shops are refusing to sell when it is clear that the person is over 18 but have younger people with them, they are just being awkward and abusing their position. they don't have to sell it to anyone but there is such a thing as customer service.

Cammelia · 22/09/2010 12:09

You don't get these problems when Ocado deliver alcohol to your home

Remotew · 22/09/2010 12:55

It makes me laugh that people think it's flattering to be asked at thirty something or whatever. You won't be flattered when they ask a 60 yr old granny behind you because the way it's going it will come to that soon.

NoahAndTheWhale · 22/09/2010 13:05

I haven't been asked for ID since I was 20. I am 35. Whenever I buy alcohol I am given a cursory glance - never asked to prove how old I am. Must be looking especially haggered

lazylula · 22/09/2010 13:17

YABU, I know of people who have lost their jobs for not implementing the '25' rule when selling alcohol or cigarettes. These assistants were only safeguarding their own jobs, as they said they were suer you were over 18 but as you didn't look 25 to them and their company policy is you have to look 25 or provide proof, then they had no choice but to rfuse the sale, going against the policy could have landed them in trouble and you do unfortunately have to respect that.

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