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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cut or not to cut?

50 replies

welshandproud · 20/09/2010 15:36

My friend and her DH have both told me in no uncertain terms that it borders on 'child abuse' to not cut my DS's hair!Pic available for short time on my profile. AIBU to only have trimmed his hair so far, he is barely 2 and will he be ridiculed when he starts nursery if I don't cut it short?
When is the right time? Will I ever be able to do it?

OP posts:
BuntyPenfold · 20/09/2010 15:40

YANBU
Didn't look at the pic, but as long as he can see out....

Chil1234 · 20/09/2010 15:41

Depending on how long it is, you may be asked to tie it back for him for practical reasons at school... nits are a perennial hazard for those with lusher locks. Children might mistake him for a girl... not ridicule exactly but I know one very long-haired boy (now 11) that still has this problem. Why not take him to a hairdresser at some stage? There's a lot of middle-ground between 'long' and 'short'.

BuntyPenfold · 20/09/2010 15:41

Just looked- he is lovely.

VinegarTits · 20/09/2010 15:41

Your friends are bonkers

ShinyAndNew · 20/09/2010 15:42

Aww he's lovely. I wouldn't cut his hair and can't see why he would be ridiculed at nursery. Do 3 year olds even notice each others hair?

FindingMyMojo · 20/09/2010 15:42

He looks great! Reminds me very much of my brother at same age who had blonde ringlets. As soon as his hair were cut it went much darker & no more ringlets.

Your friend has given you her opinion - I'd say it's none of her business. Do what you want & enjoy while it lasts.

Nancy66 · 20/09/2010 15:42

he's gorgeous - and very much looks like a boy to me.

Original poster
welshandproud · 20/09/2010 15:43

Actually lots of 'older' folk have thought he's a girl...

OP posts:
FloraFinching · 20/09/2010 15:45

YANBU - he looks very very cute
but don't forgot that when he starts nursery the staff won't always be able to ensure that his hair is swept back during meals, teeth cleaning, painting etc. My DD comes back with all sorts of detritus in her hair (toothpaste is the worst) unless it's clipped and tied back.

taintedpaint · 20/09/2010 15:46

His hair is lovely and your friends are nuts. Grin

thumbwitch · 20/09/2010 15:46

weeeellll - before I had DS, I had friends who had 2 DSs and their younger one had hair like yours. All of us who didn't have DC would mutter to ourselves that his mother really should get his hair cut, it was ridiculous to have it that length, poor boy, couldn't tell whether he was a boy or a girl etc. etc.

Then I had DS. And I had traumas about having his hair cut - but to be fair (to me) as soon as his fringe was getting anywhere near his eyes, he had it all trimmed.

I don't mind longish hair on boys but IMO (and mine only) I think your DS's is a bit too long. However. It's entirely up to you whether or not you have it cut - you are the one who will feel good or bad about your decision, not us!

I don't think other DC at this age will care at all how long his hair is - it's the adults who will pass judgement.

suwoo · 20/09/2010 15:48

My 3.9 year old has long hair, not as long as your ds's though (yet).

Last week, we have the first comment about 'her'. I don't care, we love it. Even DH.

IControlSandwichMonkey · 20/09/2010 15:48

Buy them a dictionary. Highlight 'abuse' in it. Make them sit a test. They're clearly thick.

hairytriangle · 20/09/2010 15:49

He looks lovely. Ignore your stupid 'friends' - if they think this is child abuse they are incredibly stupid naive.

stampingmybigangryfeet · 20/09/2010 15:51

He is beautiful and I would NOT cut his hair.

ShinyAndNew · 20/09/2010 15:53

'older' folk always mistake the sex of toldders/babies though. I was pushing around a pink coated dd2 in a pink Quinny and was asked how old my little boy was by a little old dear in the lift. When I explained that she was, in fact, a girl the old dear exclaimed "Well why on earth is she wearing jeans? They are for boys!" The jeans in question were dd2's favourite Dora The Explorer jeans and are adorned with a belly dancing Dora and pink flowers.

Bella32 · 20/09/2010 15:53

By taintedpaint Mon 20-Sep-10 15:46:09

His hair is lovely and your friends are nuts.

Agree 100% Grin

JustAsWelliLikeLego · 20/09/2010 16:09

His hair is great - keep it. My ds is a "longie", survives happily at nursery and if he ever requests a short back and sides, he can have it. I just keep it out his eyes as it can be annoying.
IME anything longer than 2 inches on a boy makes them a girl to certain people....even if wearing tractor t shirts and "boy" stuff - shudder.

scaryteacher · 20/09/2010 16:16

His hair looks good, but he will get glue in it at nursery, so as long as you are prepared for that and that you may have to cut it to get the stuff out of it that goes in, then fine. My ds once cut his own fringe....cue very very short back and sides due to the angle at which he'd cut it.

DastardlyandSmugly · 20/09/2010 16:16

Pics on profile of my DS with his long hair. He's never had any problems and nursery and has just started school with no issues either. If he ever comes home and asks me if he can have it cut then we'll go and do it but he loves his hair.

ChippingIn · 20/09/2010 16:25

Ignore your friends - he is very unlike to get teased at nursery and it's nothing like abuse (twats!!).

It will be 'the right time' when either you decide it is, or he asks to have it short.... I think it looks 'boyish' long in the first picture, but girly in the second - but I'm not fond of long hair on boys

Housewife2010 · 20/09/2010 16:44

He looks lovely but I'd cut it. Definitely not a chavvy skinhead, but a bit shorter & more boyish. You don't want him to be mistaken for a girl.

AllGoodNamesGone · 20/09/2010 16:46

Well, I would get it cut if he was mine, but he's not, he's yours, so if you like it, keep it like that Grin

Your friends should butt out. They don't have to pretend they like his hair but it is nothing to do with them. Why do people feel they can make comments like that about a child when they would never do so about an adult's hairstyle they didn't like? Or maybe they would, are they usually this rude?!

I don't really like very long hair on little boys, but it's the same as not always liking someone elses choice of name for their child. It might not be to my taste but hey the world would be a boring place if we were all the same!

My son had a short back and sides at that age and still got mistaken for a girl many a time!

Bue · 20/09/2010 16:47

He is so sweet! Looks like a boy to me.

Dione · 20/09/2010 16:50

Your son looks beautiful. Don't cut his hair just cos your friends say so.

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