AIBU to offer this advice to not-very-cunning pregnant laydeees?

[proudnglad]

Ladies in early weeks of pregnancy who are attending social functions, take note:

The nano second you announce you are not drinking because you have a bladder infection/are on antibiotics/are on a diet that forbids alcohol, everyone will know you are pregnant then drunkenly hound you for the rest of the evening.

Simply say nothing, sit with a drink, pour it down a nearby plant pot or your dp's throat when no-one is looking. Better still, go to the bar yourself and order tonic with ice and a slice. Then no-one will know.

I say this as the friend of two preggy women who have been devastated at being 'found out' at two separate 40th birthdays recently.

Many thanks for your time. And congratulations!! x

My SIL is on an 'alcohol free diet' at the mo...I fully expect an announcement soon!

Yup. Alcohol-free lager for ONE NIGHT and my DSis and BIL guessed (not that I am an alcoholic or anything, you understand)

But - I have been on an alcohol free/detox diet and had hideous antibiotics for tooth extraction and not been pregnant in the past...

I don't drink very often anyway so not really a problem for me

Totally agree with OP.

Either avoid the night out altogether, or order your normal tipple then sip it v slowly or swap it when nobody is looking.

Or accept that they will all know.

Not at all - I always take the I'm on antibiotics/diet/hungover comments as meaning I'm pregnant wink wink but really don't feel like I ought to announce it yet.

Oh and if you decide to drive to parties or the pub instead of getting a taxi, you will also get found out. 'No thanks, I'm driving' will not help you keep your secret.

I got caught out after thinking I was very clever to take the car and claim I was not drinking because I was driving. It didn't fool anyone as I had no answer to the "well why are you driving?" question that followed.

Oh no, I really am driving to a party at the weekend.
I hope there won't be any rumours spreading about me.

Looks like there will be paisley. You've been warned.

Paisley -as long as you are not driving about half a mile along a road with regular buses you will probably be OK!

To friends of people who are saying they are on antibiotics and you think they're pregnant - do not hound them or 'out' them. If they wanted you to know they would have told you. I was 'outed' by a friend and I had a dodgy nuchal scan so was keeping it quiet, so was devastated when asked outright as I felt I couldn't lie and say no. I lost the baby at 18 weeks anyway. I would never ask anyone if they were pregnant if they did not have a huge bump tbh.

My bro and SIL tell a very funny story about him getting VERY drunk because they decided to have a glass of wine each at the table, but a glass of water for her as well, he cunningly just swapped between the two, so it looked like hers was going down, no-one noticed but he was bladdered!

My DH did not help keeping my pregnancy quiet. He would barge into a party and shout very loudly "Sullwah - look there is some orange juice that you can have"

When I was ttc there was a permanent 'fag-watch' at my local. Everyone knew the problems we were having ttc so for over 2 years everyone would tense up when I walked in, go very quiet for a few mins and then as soon as my packet of fags hit the bar they all relaxed and the chatter resumed. When I finally was pg I couldn't wait to go in and not get a fag out just to see who would crack first but my neighbour ruined it by running in before me and shouting "Puddle's knocked up!!" Bastard

I think it's the having to have an excuse thing. Apparently as a woman you cannot just say 'no thanks' or 'not tonight'.

And it's a bit sad that any remotely sexually active woman turning down an alcoholic drink must be pregnant. And it's rude to ask/assume if you haven't been offered the information anyway as Owlingate confirms. I'm so sorry.

My brother was here last night and turned down a glass of wine. Fine, nobody batted an eyelid. I wil text him in a bit and ask if he's with child.

Paisley - they will totally think you are up the duff!

Nancy - nah, they are just over-thinking it and think they are being clever, they don't want you to know unless they actually wink!

I agree IControl

But I´m also wondering have these women never not had a non alcoholic drink previously

LadyintheR - or smoke a fag, or inject heroin!

I had dinner with 2 friends a few months ago, one said 'I'm on antibiotics so I'm not drinking'. I said NOTHING, didn't raise an eyebrow, snigger or even change the subject and she leapt on me snapping 'I know what you're thinking but I PROMISE I'm not'. It was so awkward so I said 'God no ummm didn't think anything'etc. She was of course pregnant as it turned out. All v weird.

I have never 'outed' a pregnancy so I can only assume she acted this way with everyone.

SGM, I don't drink alcohol either. People's reactions vary from assuming I'm pregnant to trying to convince me to have 'just one, gwan try it'.

I have been out with a friend trying to cheer her up when she has refused a drink and received an 'aha we know!' type comment. She wasn't drinking because she was having an erpc the next day.

I'm waiting for someone to claim I am pregnant rather than on antibiotics, just so I can regale them with the grim details of my cervix infection

I have a work/client drinks thing next week - I swerved it successfully last week & then the other party cancelled last minute and now it's next week. There's 3 from our office going inc me so there's no way I can pour drink into plant & god knows I can hardly stay awake past 8pm these days.

I'll be 10 weeks & I don't want to tell yet esp as I had MC at 9 weeks last year. Thinking might have to pull a sickie on the day - but then I'll be fucked if client cancels last minute & reschedules again.

I'm going to have to out myself or pull a sickie aren't I?

What to do?

FindingMyMojo, why can't you drink a soft drink? Will people comment? If somebody offers you a drink, say 'orange juice please' or if they offer you wine say 'no thanks, don't fancy it'.

I don't know a single person in rl who doesn't just sometimes fancy a soft drink/alcohol free night.