to want run away and live on my own by the sea??

[CommonSenseSuze]

Sometimes I feel like life in just one chore followed by the next, with sixteen chores hanging over me.

DP has not concept of tidying up. I tidy, he clutters (that word doesn't do it justice). I honestly don't think he's ever touched a duster in his life. He also sees the house as an extension of the garage with the number of tools that are hanging around.

DD (two years old) is happily ignoring all pleas to use the potty and to not put play doh everywhere.

Step-son (16 years old) is a total f*cking slob. Never lifts and finger, stinks and causes a huge amount of washing up (which he never does).

Dog malts all of the house, is very farty and shits in the garden (DP works early mornings and I can't leave the house to walk the dog as DD's still asleep - perish the thought that step-son would help).

Dirty dishes piling up constantly, despite the fact that the dishwasher seems to be on all the time.

Dirty washing heaped in piles near the basket. Clean washing heaped in piles on the bed.

First thing I do in the morning is sweep all downstairs because of the dog and cat hair. There's already hair all over the place again.

I seem to be the only one in the house who ever thinks about meals. I'm the only one who cooks them too. Bloody step-son won't even eat the same as us or the same time, so that's double the work.

Bathrooms are filthy. In fact, the house is dirty, but all I ever seem to do is bloody clean, around looking after DD.

DD's demanding and I have nobody around who can ever help. No family and we moved a month before she was born, so no friends who aren't swamped with their own children already.

Did I really work hard at school and do well at university for this?? Does anyone else ever get that feeling??

So sorry for the rant. I want to run away from home and live by the sea in a little flat just for me! :)

dreamingofsun I joke flat-sharing with my best friend with the cats and vodka and all but one day her mate went to take her Dad to an early hospital appointment at six and found her Mum drinking wine out of a breakfast mug wearing a dressing gown.

Don't think we could ever beat that!

Tonight I broached (sp?) with DP some of the reasons I currently hate my life and how we can "work together" - corny phrase, I know - to make things better. Focused on how he should lay down the law to his son etc.

He told me that I'm such a bloody nag and that he can't be near me. He went to bed two hours ago. Another lonely night for me then.

I'm just about ready to find myself a little place of my own. Of course I wouldn't really leave DD though. Of course, I can't really afford it either!

Actually I definitely can't afford it as I gave up my job to look after DD.

Every penny we now live on is earned by DP. And don't I know it.

Maybe it's just one of those days, but I really don't have an identity anymore.

God, op, take you and your dd off for a month's week's holiday.
Let dh and dss see how much you do.

Oh damn css. Bastard.
Shall we run away together?

I really, really should go away. I know. Sounds good, Flyme! DP went to a music festival for a few days so I'm 'owed' a bit of time off. I emailed by oldest friend to ask if she fancied a cheapo weekend in Brighton (DP should be able to look after DD for that amount of time without too much fuss), but she's busy for the next few weekends. Hopefully it will happen soon though. I'm so lonely and down at the moment, with nothing to look forward too except tomorrow's chores! Sorry, ignore me. Just wallowing now!

Just go, with or without friend! Or better, go visit another friend for a week of wine and giggles.

Seriously, sounds like you need a break and maybe a week without you will make them appreciate you a bit, you never know...

are there some things you could do for the day locally? you sound like you need to get out more - toddler groups, window shopping for the day, day trip to the coast? if you ignore the housework for a few days and focus on some fun it will all back up and they might realise how much work you do.

Was going to say can i come with you till you mentioned Brighton but thats a bit too busy for me !

i just went away for three nights to a wee cottage by the sea in the middle of no-where.

Twas bliss. Ate what I wanted when I wanted , read books, watched DVD's, had baths, cleaned up only after myself.

I didn't want to come home. I love my family dearly but have to admit I didn't miss any of them one bit.

Can you do something similar? It's getting off season now so is much more affordable - my place was cheap as chips.

If nothing else it will give you a bit of space to consider your priorities - it's totally unsustainable to continue the way you are going.

Thereisalight - I would suggest varnishing the dog and cat - that should mitigate the pet hair problem.

The surly teenager needs a short sharp lecture along the lines of 'Stop being such a lazy, dirty bugger, eat what's offered to you, do your share of the clearing up, and WASH because you smell.' This is what I say to my teenagers when they try this sort of behaviour - I think there is some switch in the male teenage brain that suddenly flips and makes them blind to all mess and dirt, utterly insensitive to their own BO and the reek of their dirty clothes on the bedroom floor and completely incapable of smiling or communicating in anything beyond a grunt.

Every so often I have to sit my three down and read them a stern 'Come to Jesus' lecture, which is usually a variation on all the themes outlined above. It happened most recently on Sunday night, but will need repeating at least once within the next 30 days, I suspect. [bitter experience emoticon]

And I forgot to say that the sound of somewhere by the sea where I can be all on my own sounds marvellous. A little cottage, with wooden floors, a proper fireplace, the most comfortable bed possible, and plenty of space for books - and where I can hear the sound of the sea as I lie in bed - that would be wonderful. Preferably with a little garden full of fragrant plants.

The only problem that I forsee is that the coastline of Britain is a finite resource, and if too many mumsnetters flee their domestic and familial responsibilities, the coast will be packed with lovely cottages and flats, each with one mumsnetter in, set shoulder to shoulder and forming an impenetrable wall (useful in case of invasion, though).