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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Making a complaint about a botched birth, when the mw was so bloody lovely?

62 replies

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:05

I had a really bad birth with my ds 10 weeks ago. Birth was really bad, they were completely unprepared even though they induced me. i have been left with severe medical problems. But i feel bad complaining because the midwife was lovely, and my baby boy is here and fine.

Would you feel bad?

OP posts:

SecretNutellaFix · 18/09/2010 19:06

no. REgardless of how nice the MW was, they still fucked up and you are suffering.

MAke it clear that you have no problems personally, but that you feel really let dwn.

fuschiagroan · 18/09/2010 19:08

No. You need to tell them what they did wrong, so they can try and make sure it doesn't happen again. Was the midwife brilliant overall or lovely but incompetent? Sounds like it was more than her fault.

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:09

I really really do feel let down. It was so bad could have lost my son too. I just don't want her to get in trouble, it was the doctors fault not hers.Well it was a series of errors really.

OP posts:

TotalChaos · 18/09/2010 19:11

you might even be doing her and her colleagues a favour in a way making the complaint, if her care is being affected by lack of support from the doctor.

fuschiagroan · 18/09/2010 19:11

Well say it was the doctors' fault then. It usually is...

teenyanne · 18/09/2010 19:12

Don't feel bad. I had a hellish time being induced, and while I don't have any medical problems, I still have flashbacks and nightmares 11 months on. I really wished I had complained in writing (not to get anyone into trouble, just with the hope of preventing it from happening to anyone else), but I could even bear to write my experience down.

If you feel able to write and complain, do it, because if something goes wrong, there might be something that they can do to stop it happening again.

Tabliope · 18/09/2010 19:12

That's a hard one. It depends on how long-lasting your severe medical problems are, if they will affect your quality of life and those around you in the future. And also if the midwife's direct actions led to this or if she was taking the lead from others. Only you know the situation. I'm glad your baby boy is fine.

In my situation the midwife came to me the next day to say she'd put in a complaint about the doctor and his handling of my DS's birth as at the time it wasn't clear if he was going to be brain damaged and she felt we had a case to sue. Luckily he was fine. I was numb so wasn't thinking along the lines of suing anyone. Just wanted him to be ok. It might be good for you and others in the future to put something in writing to whatever authorities, just for their information, not necessarily to take legal action about it.

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:13

It really was the whole crappy ward. broken machinery, under staffing and just general bad luck on my part i think.

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 18/09/2010 19:14

I think you have to be very specific when you complain and be very clear about where the fault lies. Your child is okay, but an incompetent doctor means that the next child might not be. You owe it to all the other people who will pass through this hospital to speak up about what was wrong.
You can say in your complaint that the midwife was lovely and did everything correctly.

tattycoram · 18/09/2010 19:16

If you don;'t think the midwife was at fault then emphasise that, but it may be that she and her colleagues have voiced concerns about the facilities, or that particular doctor, but a complaint from a patient is what is needed to get the authorities to take notice.

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:21

I feel i could be easier if i explain a bit of what happened. I was induced had my waters broken, within half hour i was contracting every 2 mins, they were strong, but the monitor was broken and only saying they were at 30. So the mw spoke to the doc who told her to put me on the drip,she went to do it and i said that really is not a good idea, but she carried on. My body went mental, and my sons heart rate dropped dramatically.
The mw got the doc and she said "i am really sorry we have no crash team for you. We are trying to find some forceps as your only 5cm's" I thought bugger that and started pushing, 4 pushes later he was born.
Everyone was a bit dumbstruck as i was only 5cm's and i practically got a standing ovation from all the staff in the room.
The forceps arrived shortly after.
But it turns out i had two large blood clots in my lungs (they were supposed to be treating me for them) and they left placenta in me, for 9 weeks and that caused me to be very very ill.
The whole thing was a mess.
Sorry its long.

OP posts:

memoo · 18/09/2010 19:25

They left the placenta in you!

Tabliope · 18/09/2010 19:27

I think you must write and complain and also to your MP as well so an outside body is aware of the situation. If equipment is faulty that can't be allowed to happen again to the next person. The placenta being left inside you is neglect in my view, whether the midwife is lovely or not.

PennyBlue · 18/09/2010 19:27

That sounds really awful - what a nightmare for you.

I really think you should complain. Broken machine, not enough staff, can't find the forceps... it's bad! You can make it clear that the midwife did her best for you and was lovely. Sounds like she deserves a better working environment than that. Your complaint may go some way towards making the situation safer and preventing some other mums going through what you went through.

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:28

Yup! even though they said it was intact when i delivered it. I think with all the confusion and fright ( there was a lot in the room) they were all a bit shaky and dint look properly.

OP posts:

TakeLovingChances · 18/09/2010 19:28

OP - it's good you were so knowledgeable about your situation, although I am so sorry to hear about your problems.

Had I been in your situation I wouldn't have had the first clue on what was right or wrong or what to do.

Did this happen in the UK?

I agree with posters who say that complaining in writing would help other mums in the future, and would hopefully make the hospital better able to train their staff properly.

tattycoram · 18/09/2010 19:28

That's shocking. Complain. Niceness doesn't compensate for absolute incompetence on that scale. So sorry you went through that, I'm really horrified.

PennyBlue · 18/09/2010 19:28

Sorry, just re-read that... they left the placenta in you??! Well, the midwife may have had a lovely bedside manner, but she really should have been able to prevent that!

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:30

Yeah i think i will contact the mp that's a good idea actually. And yeah i could help go some to improve the environment for the staff too,didn't really think of it like that.

After my son was born she gave me a great big hug and said she would always remember me, i would hate that to be changed with bad blood iykwim

OP posts:

reallytired · 18/09/2010 19:33

I think you should write and complain, but be careful how you phase your letter. Emphase the lack of facilties and lack of staff. However praise the particular midwife (do you know her name?) and say how wonderful she is.

Having no crash team for you is scandelous. It is also ricdicuolus that they relied on a broken continous monitor rather than professional judgement. It is possible to access the frequency of contractions without a continous monitor.

Your son could have died.

beepbeep · 18/09/2010 19:34

If they said it was intact when you delivered it so you means SOME of the placenta remained? That happened to me, usually it passes normally (with bleeding after birth) but I was unlucky and it didn't and I was also extremely ill. However I think that was bad luck rather than incompetence. If soem remains (unless large bit) I understand it is normal to leave it.

Regarding staff, forceps, machines etc I would def put something in writing as if they don't know how you feel they can't do anything about it.

curlywurlycremeegg · 18/09/2010 19:35

Just two thoughts on your post, the midwife should really have palpated the strength, length and frequency of your contractions as technolongy can frequently go wrong/not pick up contractions. Also why on earth were they looking for forceps when you were 5cm dilated? The forceps should have been to hand on a trolly with all the other instrumental delivery equipment and would have been absolutly useless at 5cm anyway, they would have made much better use of that time fast bleeping whoever was available on other wards to come and help.

Original poster

Theincrediblesulk1 · 18/09/2010 19:37

This all happened in the famous Hillingdon hospital abut 3 weeks after all the flesh was found on sterilised equipment.

I was glad they couldn't find the forceps then!

I had a LOT left in there too one lump was about 20 cm's long. But by the time they confirmed it was leftover a d&c was not necessary (luckily the first piece passed was sent off for analysis) It took for me to collapse for anyone to pay attention after 9 weeks of feeling ill.

OP posts:

beepbeep · 18/09/2010 19:39

Further to above, I would have thought an experienced midwife would normally be able tell how far apart your contractions were without machinery (there's a HUGE difference between 30 mins and 2 mins)

nameymcnamechange · 18/09/2010 19:40

Which hospital?

Of course you must complain, in the strongest possible terms.

I'm sure you don't want another mother going through something similar.

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