Making a complaint about a botched birth, when the mw was so bloody lovely?

[Theincrediblesulk1]

I had a really bad birth with my ds 10 weeks ago. Birth was really bad, they were completely unprepared even though they induced me. i have been left with severe medical problems. But i feel bad complaining because the midwife was lovely, and my baby boy is here and fine.

Would you feel bad?

Fucking, fucking hell that is awful!

Also, if they had used forceps on you at 5cm that would have done you SERIOUS damage. My ex is an obstetrician and I once asked him whether they would use forceps if the baby was still completely in the womb and he said 'God, no, that would split you apart! They would do a section.'

No the contractions were registering every two mins, but the strength was showing they were 30 (80+ being a real contraction) Even though i dilated to 5 cm's in half hour 40 Min's!

They would have done a section but had no crash team, i don't think she really knew what to do.

It was at Hillingdon

I would definitely complain - it's only complaints/feedback that gives any hope of an improvement. I had my dc2 at Hillingdon and found them to be very nice but incredibly short staffed and disorganised. Luckily I had a good relatively easy birth but for such a number of beds they are very very stretched IME. Hope you feel better soon and do not have lasting problems. Congrats on you DS btw.

I urge you to complain.

Your post brings tears to my eyes as I too was induced and had a mismanaged birth; it was traumatic and left me so upset that when I was visited by the HV, she insisted that I complain to the hospital, which I did. It resulted in the lovely maternity representative (can't remember her proper title) taking my statement and investigating on my behalf. The head of maternity met with me and read out my labour notes, which said things like "4am - Mad is coping well and has consented to no epidural" - total bollocks as I was scaling the walls and begging for an epidural, had been for the past 4 hours.

Anyway, please please complain in writing. Write a list of everything you remember, talk to your birth partner to make sure you have all the details and write that letter. If nothing, reporting it brought closure for me and has made me strong enough to go ahead to conceiving again.

Thank firsttimemamas he was worth it x

Your all right i need to make a complaint and not be worried. i need to make it clear who and what i am complaining about. Might need more advice so may pick your brains about it all.

What if it happens again to another poor unsuspecting woman and has a worse outcome?

They messed up and need to investigate to make sure it doesn't happen again. If the staff involved were half decent they would be raising serious concerns but may just be burying their heads in the sand.

Thanks Madinitials I don't think i am allowed anymore now oh wants the snip. I have had three (two surviving) so i shouldn't be greedy

Sorry you lost a child Incredible.

I feel for you. I had a bad birth. My baby was OP. 21 hours in labour, 5 internals, they tried to break my waters twice, they induced me. Had monitors on the babies head. So I couldn't move. Nothing worked. I was 7cm dilated had heavy blood loss. Ended up with an emergency section. I am so glad I didn't have forceps though. I had a urine infection prior too the birth which hadn't cleared up as I ended up back in hospital with a womb infection three months after the birth. Maybe if the infection i had initially had been treated with IV antibiotics, I might have had a normal birth. I don't know though. My baby is nearly a year and I have only just started feeling better. You should write a letter to the hospital to help others in the future. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Madinitials,

He would have been 5 this Aug just gone. He was a casualty of my thrombophilia at 36+6 he was so close his name is Frazer. but that is what gave me the strength to push William out so early, all i could think about was not wanting to put another little white coffin in the ground.

Oh my god iamanewmum31 that's so bad! You poor thing. I feel a bit better had heavy duty antibiotics, needless to say with all the left over stuff my womb got infected too. Still feeling feverish from it though.

I would suggest contacting the PALS team, at least for help in getting a copy of all your notes. They might also be helpful in finding someone who can go through your notes with you and explain anything you're not sure about. If the PALS people are any good, they will know whether to suggest a meeting with a consultant or the head of midwives or another professional (good PALS people are likely to know who in the hospital would be useful/useless).

If you go for a debriefing session with a member of staff, that shouldn't stop you from subsequently putting in a formal complaint, and a copy of your notes will be important for that.

Just from your short description of events, there seems a lot that wasn't right. I'm not that knowledgeable, but how can a midwife/doctor consider using forceps when you were only 5 cm dilated? Surely the baby's head wouldn't be fully in the birth canal at that stage, and also wouldn't you have needed to be more dilated to be able to push the baby out in four goes? It sounds as though even in that basic measurement of cervical dilatation someone didn't get that right.

It really doesn't matter how nice the midwife was. It doesn't sound like a good environment for either staff or patients.

It all sounds reminiscent of when I gave birth back in the 1970s. I really had hoped that things would have improved since then, but clearly not.

If you meant my brains OP you'll have to look hard - my DS who was born at HH is 20 months and along with my DD who was born at Ealing 4 years ago, are slowly sapping their powers. However I keep an eye on the thread if I can help.

I hope you feel better soon. You are very strong person. I am a wimp as I have decided not to have anymore children. I am sorry for moaning about my experience. Who would be a women though?!

He was in the birth canal when i had my waters broken. his head was right down, and and no i want more dilated i just pushed and didn't care what happened. The doc didn't think i would be able to do it when i first started pushing she said " carry on if you think you can do it"I just didn't care what happened to me. Like i said i have buried one i was not going to do it again, i would rather have died.

No i don't think things have improved, they are still unprepared and unwilling to listen to mums.

iamanewmum31 don't be silly, glad i am not the only one, i think a lot of people have really bad birth and no one takes any notice.

I know the things we go through!

Theincredible, tell yourself that whatever happened you are a fucking shining star. To push your baby out like that, I hope you feel proud knowing that you did exactly what you needed to do to make you and your child as safe as possible in the circumstances. I totally understand that you feel very let down by the shit care you received. Try to look at it another way though. The birth gave you the chance to prove that you can do anything, you are one determined lady. Take that forward and whenever you feel any doubt in any area of your life, hark back to the birth to remind yourself how fucking brave and resourceful you are .

Hello HalfTermHero,

I really am proud of myself i did it all with no pain relief too (they stole my gas and air because of his heart rate) I do go on about it a bit to oh how strong i feel for doing that, and the reaction i got from the staff too, they were all going on about how great i did.

Sounds a bit big headed i know but oh well sod it!

You be as big headed as you want. I have nothing but respect for you. You took searing pain, terror, imminent disaster and turned it around. Not many people can say they have done that.

You should definately complain - the nice MW will cope, and hopefully you'll improve things for other women in the future.

Thanks Halftermhero,
I am all smiles now xxxxxxxxx

I think its best to do it too Hassled its the under staffing that concerns me most, not having a crash team available is unacceptable.

I recently made a complaint about my ds's birth (I posted about it in childbirth). It wasn't anywhere near as bad as what happened to you but I wasn't believed and a mw very rudely told me I wasn't in labour about 50 minutes before ds was born so I didn't get to hospital until I was pushing. I think I would have had him at home unassisted if dh hadn't phoned back and shouted at her, she wasn't listening to me at all! I phoned and spoke to someone in the complaints department and explained that it was traumatic and it wouldn't have been if I'd been there sooner and I felt that the mw didn't properly assess me as I was obviously going through transition when she was still telling me to stay at home. It was about 2 weeks ago now and I haven't heard back from them so I think I'll have to ring them again but I believe its important to complain if they've made mistakes or they don't learn.