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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not trust non-parents who post on mn

70 replies

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 14:01

ha, gotcha! I feel nothing of the sort. as far as Im concerned all are welcome!

but I was wondering whether non-parents who use mn ever feel odd about posting, and read some of the threads and think "ffs, how hard is it really to organise school uniforms/bf/get your child to sit at the table?" etc.

OP posts:
maryz · 18/09/2010 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hazeyjane · 18/09/2010 17:49

I think you are making some fairly harsh assumptions about mumsnetters there emptyshell. I can't imagine there is anyone on here that feels that way about miscarriage or conception boards. After all a lot of people with children have suffered from miscarriages and struggled to conceive.

emptyshell · 18/09/2010 17:52

The thread title's disgusting by the way (even as a joke) - and not just for the ones in the Cinderella forums away from the lucky kids.

What about all the teachers who post in the education forums, the childminders, the nannies, the nursery nurses who all post? The ones who reply to threads ASKING for input from those people. I'm also one of that group of people.

I know people were trying to be clever with the title - but it's really offensive and don't freaking disregard or belittle that point with my personal circumstances - it's offensive to anyone who works with kids who comes on to give their input on issues.

garageflower · 18/09/2010 17:52

I am a non-parent but originally came to MN as ex-p has a daughter so I found it helpful in that respect.

More recently I just view it as a great place for advice and a thought-proking area. Listening to other people's opinions on things is never dull - it's what life's all about Smile I keep asking real life friends to take a look but they think I'm crazy Grin

Emptyshell, I'm sorry Sad

passionberry · 18/09/2010 17:54

I've been here for a couple of years and I don't think I've ever come across a comment that non-parents weren't welcome.

I came for the conception topic which I rarely posted on as was quite down about how long it was taking me to get pregnant - but did start posting in chat.

Shoshe · 18/09/2010 17:56

emptyshell, I am so sorry for what you are going through, unfortunately a lot of us have been through what you have, especially the OP, she has spent a long time in the miscarriage and TTC threads, please dont take the title the wrong way.

DuelingFanjo · 18/09/2010 17:57

I've been here since 2007 when I started TTC. First baby is due in Dec. Mumsnet has taught me so much not just about Conception but also stuff which has prepared me for childbirth, Beastfeeding and parenting. I am really glad I post here.

GrendelsMum · 18/09/2010 17:59

I'm just here for the advice on paint colours Wink

DuelingFanjo · 18/09/2010 17:59

Oh - and I totally agree with nickelbabe, I didn't know until I came here that people could judge you as a parent about so many things!

mloo · 18/09/2010 18:00

I used to be very judgemental about parenting before I had my own kids and parenting problems to wrestle with. I like to think that with age I would have lost those prejudices, but sadly maybe not. I'd be terrible person to have posted on here pre-children, lol.

In contrast, the "pain" of infertility is something I can only understand after having my own kids; before I had children, I couldn't at all understand why infertility bothered some people so deeply.

fluffles · 18/09/2010 18:06

I haven't carried a pregnancy to term. But I work with kids in informal education so I often browse other boards and avoid the ttc boards.

I do swing dramatically from thinking omg it must be so hard, I could never do that. To thinking ffs it can't be that hard!

Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:08

emptyshell, i am really sorry that I have upset you. the title was not intended in the way you think, many of you know my history and (i hope) know that I do not want to offend. fwiw, i have had 12 mc's since ds was born so don't want to ignore the mc boards. search lissielou miscarriage and you will see for yourself. i was just curious . sorry if i have upset anyone.

OP posts:
Gigantaur · 18/09/2010 18:14

i dont use MN for parenting stuff very often so i can see why a non parent would still find it interesting.

Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:14

also, as I have spent 5y on the conception boards and have a lot of friends who do not have dc's i felt that AIBU was a better place to post what was intended to be a harmless thread. i was looking at ds earlier who is utterly grotty and playing dinosaurs versus knights and thought "this can't be interesting to anyone else" then i was wondering whether non-parents got bored/judgey on mn.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:21

gigantaur (hi, did you have a good hol?) i dont really post about parenting either. i tend to post shite chit chat instead.

OP posts:
Gigantaur · 18/09/2010 18:31

it wasn't great weather but it was still a nice break. thanks.

i rarely say anything thats not utter shite

Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:33

glad you had a good break Grin

and no you dont WinkGrin

OP posts:
Gigantaur · 18/09/2010 18:35

don't worry i fully intend to be so pissed i will not remember my own name let alone who said i talk shite.

Grin
Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:40

phew Grin me too btw. have told dh that i fully intend to vomit in the hotel bathroom. he was thrilled Wink

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 18/09/2010 18:47

I came here because I was writing up phd andwanted some human interaction. Mn is the only forum I have come across that is not populated by teenage boys, people who have never grown out of teenage boys, or people who might be very nice hut I can't tell because they type/use txtspk as if they are teenage boys.

Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:51

trillian, ikwym. if you'd told me 7y ago that i wouldn't be able to go a day without posting on a forum i would have laughed. mainly because most other forums (fora?) are exactly as you say. and that is why i chose mn over BC, NM etc. although i came here as a mother with PND and IF i stayed because i love it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/09/2010 18:53

emptyshell, if you come back (and i hope you do) please check out this thread its been a life saver for me.

OP posts:
SecretNutellaFix · 18/09/2010 18:56

I came for two reasons.

One was that I am still ttc, but only lurk on those boards. The other was I needed ideas for a birthday pressie for a friends little boy and who best to ask but a gaggle of parents?

emptyshell, I don't know if anyone else has ever pointed you in the direction of
these lovely ladies?
They are all mums to children who are no longer with them whether through pre-birth loss or after they were born.

Tavvy · 18/09/2010 18:58

I'm a nanny and I find mumsnet really useful for parental perspective which I do lack as a nanny. It makes me much better at the working with parents aspect of my job.

GeorgetteHeyer · 18/09/2010 19:14

My DP has a daughter with his ex - I don't have children (yet) but I really wanted to find a source of sensible, down to earth, not patronising, non-judgy pants advice.

And now...I'm just addicted! It's making me become less judgy, and I'm learning lots for when I do have children.