to think you shouldn't sling a 6 year old girl out on to the street.

[lowra]

Could hear my neighbour's little girl crying whilst being shouted at by her mother. I made out the mother screaming 'get out of my house', I then looked out the window to see the child standing snivelling on the pavement outside.

Now I'm not a mother (yet) but I don't think is an example of good parenting.

Do feel sorry for the woman, she has 6 children and doesn't seem to cope very well, but not sure what I can do to help. I'm not friendly with her, although do speak to the children quite a bit as they always seem to be hanging around outside.

What did you do when you witnessed this?

Sat behind her net curtains and judged her neighbour for excessive breeding and poor temper control from the sound of it.

I didn't do anything. The little girl is now playing outside with her brother.
What would you do?

that's awful. I can't imagine how hard it is coping with 6 children and there may be no suitable place for each and everyone to go and 'have a think'. But 'Get out of my house' so DD doesn't even feel like it is her house, and actually following through is still shocking and wrong.

You are very kind to want to help and not judge, and i would feel the same. If we all just ignore these things, we end up almost making it acceptable, but I am really not sure quite what you can do...

Why don't you bake the mum a cake and introduce yourself. I think the worm your way in and get talking to her, rather than the shaming approach might be best.

My mum threw me and my sister out, 10 + 8 when we wouldn't stop giggiling after bedtime one snowy mid december night, we were literally blue when we were allowed back in.
No one helped us out though cos we were from the estate weren't we.
Maybe you could offer some help, babysit for an evening etc for her, then maybe you would see how much hard work it is and how easy it is to snap or go overboard on a punishment.

The mother clearly can not cope, call social services and get her some help

I have not tried to shame anyone, I made it clear I would like to help. The children are sweet little things and I do say hello to my neighbour when I see her. We are not friends though as I'm not really friends with any of my neighbours (haven't lived here long).

Goblinchild, eveyone makes a judgement on every situation they see. Yes I am a little concerned that the children are being neglected. (For example they run around in the road unsupervised) but I'm not sure how this makes me a judgemental person. I have not made any judgement about 'excessive breeding' either, but it must be difficult for a single parent to look after 6 children.

I would probably have gone out, asked if she was alright, and knocked on the neighbour's door.

I think you are right to judge if you think the children are being mistreated in any way.

I HAVE chucked my 6 year old into our gaarden when she was being horrendous but I would never chuck her into the street.

You've noticed...that's the main thing...I agree with the poster who suggests you try to say hi to her now and then...and be frendly...hard I kow with people who are a bit scary/rough....but better to let her feel she is around friendly people.

Keep your eye on them.

Call social services? What for?
She probably was only out there for five minutes or less until her brother came out
just a different kind of naughty step or being sent to your room

She really must be at the end of her tether to behave like this to her child, I think she needs some support.

Iowra - I haven't said you have - (tried to shame anyone). But on deciding what tactic to use I probably wouldn't go for the shaming approach - not yet anyway. Or social services. I would try and befriend her, so that I could get a better picture.

Anemone- I have also used my (safe) garden as time out - but we have shade and I wouldn't do it if if was very cold. The change of air can work to calm a child down. But not on the street, and not saying'get out of MY house' - that's not nice.

Yeah i'd go down the befriending route too.

Had a similarish situation with my neighbour recently, baby was really screaming and could hear mum screaming and ranting at baby.

Mum wouldnt answer door when I knocked but I collared someone who knows babys grandma, luckily she had a key.

Turns out the poor sod has crippling postnatal depression and as far as I know baby still isnt fully back home

Many people just need extra help.

Animation - I know you didn't. I think Goblinchild's post put me on the defensive (and was a little unfair). I will try the friendly approach although if I'm honest I don't see much of her. It's difficult reaching out to someone who you feel you don't have much in common with, or you wouldn't normally choose as a friend.

As for babysitting, the thought of babysitting any child fills with me fear. I have not had much experience with babies and children. Although that is about to change as I'm currently pregnant.

Undortunately you seem to have broken the Mumsnet commandment of 'thou shalt not judge'

I would call nspcc for advice
She needs support
And it is not sensible to have 6 children if you fuse is clearly so short

Poor little girl. I would have judged like anything. I would also have given the mother of 6???? A piece of my mind and possibly involved the police in case the family were already known to them.

It is not supportive to have Social Services knock on your door. It feels like a slap in the face by all and sundry. It makes you want to hide any future problems in the house and not let on if you're finding things tough (then or in future); it makes you feel like you're spied on and people are being nice to your face but despising you in private. SS has a role, but it needs to be in cases where the carer really needs a LOT of direction because the child(ren) are at high risk if things don't change.

No it's not ideal what you describe, OP, it would upset me to see. But if it's not an everyday occurance and the weather conditions outside aren't dreadful and it was only for under 10 minutes, I don't think it's a social services matter, either. Befriending the neighbour would be the supportive thing to do.

Can't put into words how much I despise the NSPCC.

Mloo, thanks for your advice.

Can I ask why you despise the NSPCC?

I couldn't befriend anybody who did that to a 6 year old! If she thinks that sort of behaviour is acceptable child rearing then we wouldn't get on at all.

Why would you befriend someone just because they are a crap parent? I would be more inclined to befriend the children and make sure that everything else is ok in their lives.

lowra if my neighbours thought I wasn't coping and were concerned about my kids, I'd appreciate them knocking on the door offering help first. Sometimes people DO need help, even if it's just someone to talk to, and they don't know how to ask or have no-one to ask.

I'm sure if you went round with some cakes or something she'd be friendly. As you'll have your own soon she might be able to offer you some support in the future, you never know.

'I despise the NSPCC'

Er, why?

My god I'm shocked at the judgyness on this thread. You have no idea what the girl did to annoy her mum so much, and although this not exactly the best way of dealing with bad behaviour, I personally don't think it's bad enough to call social services / police by a long way