to think you shouldn't sling a 6 year old girl out on to the street.

[lowra]

Could hear my neighbour's little girl crying whilst being shouted at by her mother. I made out the mother screaming 'get out of my house', I then looked out the window to see the child standing snivelling on the pavement outside.

Now I'm not a mother (yet) but I don't think is an example of good parenting.

Do feel sorry for the woman, she has 6 children and doesn't seem to cope very well, but not sure what I can do to help. I'm not friendly with her, although do speak to the children quite a bit as they always seem to be hanging around outside.

Because I got reported to the NSPCC. And I ended up feeling as dreadful and demoralised as everything I outlined.

Whoever reported me gets anonymity. I don't know who they were, what they saw or heard that concerned them. Whereas they get to hear back what happened when I was spoken to. That's the way it works with anon. hotlines the caller gets feedback about action taken. Since I don't know what concerned them or what they saw, I have to be be careful in public in case I do something they don't approve of (whatever that may be). What I was accused of is commonplace around here my neighbours can carry on making decisions I used to make, but I don't know if I dare do such a thing, since I don't know who is spying on me and how keen they are to keep an eye on me. I ask SS to clarify on various points, btw, but they just said "It depends on too many factors to possibly say, sorry to have to be so vague."

Basically, I live with the dread that I will be reported again. This doesn't help me be a better parent.

Probably if I did know who they were, I could laugh and notice about 85 things about them and how they treat their children or pets or neighbours that is roughshod and wrong, but I can never know. Being badmouthed behind my back, and the whole culture of encouraging that is awful. Also, increasingly the NSPCC is issuing advice about all sorts of aspects of child protection, I'm not sure who appointed them to be a high authority on the subject.

'Basically, I live with the dread that I will be reported again. This doesn't help me be a better parent.'

But you no longer do the thing you were accused of
So their involvement has achieved something.

It is essential, imo, that people are able to report concerns.
Baking a cake and a friendly ear will not solve everything, unfortunately.

My work involves making reports SS.
I do this about once a month, on average
I have never regretted doing so

This situation would not warrant those measures, imo
But that is not to say making the call is the wrong thing to do in others

mloo, you know why the person reported stays anonymous. It's ridiculous to suggest that it shouldn't be the case.

SS and the NSPCC serve to protect the child, not the parents.

FGS.She has 6 children who are all sweet little things, she must be doing something right.She shouted at teh girl and sent her out.Big bloody deal.At least she is exerting some discipline!

MoreCrackThanHarlem.

Mm - the patronising technique.

I never thought I would say this but I agree with Alouiseg.

Animation- can you explain your post?

Animation- can you explain your post?

Brassband, they are sweet little things but in a needy way ifyswim.

I think there is a difference between 'sending a child out' and telling a child to 'get out of MY house'. The girl is either 5 or 6 and in my opinion I think that's too young to be playing out on the street unsupervised regardless of whether she was sent out or not.

my 5 year old, youngest of 4, plays out on the pavement unsupervised - nothing wrong with it

and i think it is far more sensible for the child to be sent out while the mum gets control than not

Brassband, are you suggesting 'sweet' children aren't ever abused or neglected?

MoreCrackHarlem - I am obseving your chosen patronising approach to mloo and to the situation here.

Patronising how?
I don't fancy a bunfight please specify what you found patronising in my post

Vole women. Six children. i wouldn't give her a goldfish to look after. She should be forcibly sterlised!

My dh doesn't see anything wrong with the younger ones playing out on th street at that age either but I personally would not be comfortable with it until they were a little bit older.

The children don't just play on the pavement, they also play in the road and don't seem to distinguish between the two. Even putting sleeping bags out in the road (not a cul de sac)! Whenever I see them I tell them to be careful but it makes me wince to watch.

I'm feeling a bit about att lthis ...we only have the ops recollection of events and as honest as they may well be we dont know the full story.

for example-
mum- this bedroom is a state ive asked you to put your pencils away and tidy up that lego all week now do it quickly

child-dont want too-its my room they are my pencils.

mum- well then you can go outside of my house until you decide youd like to come in and tidy up your bedroom.

Go on on now get out of my house.

scenario 2

mum -you horrible little cow,youve spilt all the orange my giro doesnt come til monday get the fuck out of my hous ....go on get out of my house.

see the scenario before can be entirely different.

It is very very wrong to chuck a 6 year old out but youd need more evidence to confront the mum (if you did at all)
Befriending the mum is a good idea but is it practical?
The OP knows the general tone of what goes on and she is best to judge what she should do.

By the way having 6 children and being a single parent/in community housing/several partners etc etc doesnt neccesarily make a poor parent in my work with social services (years ago) some of the most positive parents came from less than ideal backgrounds.

The general tone is a disorganised house with lots of shouting, kids out on the street alot, sometimes scruffy and a little bit dirty (as kids do get) but it's difficult to judge the extent of the problems. I think the oldest child is in trouble at school with truancy or whatever and I get the impression the family may be known to social services. My biggest worry tbh is their lack of road sense and the fact the mother doesn't seem to pick up on this.

I wouldn't say the children are unhappy and I don't doubt they are loved, As my OP stated I think the mother finds it hard to cope but I'm not sure where on the sliding scale of poor judgement, neglect the situation lies.

Just to add I have heard her swearing at the kids and threatening to put them in care.

bit of a drop feed of info here

c0rnsilk, nickschick asked about the general tone of what goes on so I clarified to the best of my knowledge what I have witnessed.

Have said nothing to contradict my original post. I live next door to the family in a terraced house so of course I have gained an overall feel of the situation.

I said she doesn't seem to be coping and have gone on to explain how I have formed that opinion.

She doesn't seem to be coping that well, but really who among us would as a single mum with six kids.I don't think anything you have said (shouting,sending kids out) is really bad enought for SS to be involved.I mean her problemse obvious too many children and not enough money,what do you think SS will do to help the situation?