Are women only gutsy online?

[BarmyArmy]

I've been on MN for a few months now and must confess to spotting a difference between the women on here and those in the real world.

On here, people (mostly women) are happy to argue the toss on anything...yet "in real life" (IRL), women are much more likely to give way in an argument than your average bloke.

Why?

By way of background, I did 10 years in the Army, followed by several years in the City and, whilst all the women I met/worked with were bright/confident etc, none would debate or discuss in the way that happens on here - blokes, on the other hand, "seem" no different.

Please explain.

^noviceoftheday Sat 18-Sep-10 11:01:20
OP, your sweeping generalisation is based on your personal experience, which is why people are countering with their personal experience. Given some of the opinions you spout on here, I am not surprised that in real life people can't be arsed to argue the toss with you. They probably take the view that life is too short.^

Exactly!

You are imagining things

because in RL you have to leave a discussion to put tea on.

On here you can go make the dinner and then come back to the argument debate

Anemone - ok, you've clarified that you dont particularly buy into the idea that everyone is special or extraordinary in their own way. Fair enough.
But then you go on to assert that you are special and extraordinary. Again, fair enough.
But given your context....I'm dying to know what makes you so?

(I'm not so sure actually that your idea of what is interesting is that different to anyone elses, just that you're possibly over-thinking it and being a bit black and white in your thinking.)

FallingwithStyle.

Actually I regret my last post...I'm being an arse...I can't claim to know ANYONE through and through...so how can I really say most people are not interesting.
[arse-emoticon]

IDK - my personal experience is that my ability to debate was stifled in a long and boring marriage.

I found MN when I was getting out and it was a lifeline. It also gave me a reference where I could say the truth, because this is the internet its anonymous, people didn't know me and judge me or have ideas already about what I was like, what my ex was like, they just gave advice on the circumstances as I put them forward.

I used to be like I am now - a bit opinionated, a bit gobby but a loyal friend and always up for a laugh.

I think hope I come across as the same on here

Anenome - I know exactly how you feel. I adore the repartee and incisive debate that characterises many MNers. I so rarely find that amongst the women I know. There are some, and when I hear someone give a snarky aside, I think, 'I could be REAL friends with you', but I just don't recognise it all that often.

Of course this is my problem too - I tone it down in real life because it would complicate things too often, and it's easy to talk about inconsequentalities with some people than have to explain what you meant all the time. I think of it a bit like being multilingual - I can speak Polite Nothing but my native tongue is Snarky Opinion.

'I think of it a bit like being multilingual - I can speak Polite Nothing but my native tongue is Snarky Opinion.'

Love that, it's so true

BBTB - you do :)

There are several women on here who I wished I lived closer to (BBTB is one of them! TSC is another!). I do think it's more difficult to find people to 'debate' with and generally talk to about interesting things, when you are working somewhere that the people aren't the kind of people you'd choose to socialise with or when you are at home with the kids.... as someone else said it was easier when Sundays were spent at the pub debating the colour of crisp packets

Right - really am off now to laugh at watch the Morris Dancers and have some hot chips, mulled wine - and who knows, maybe even some interesting conversation :) Followed later by an Ann Summers party - where we will drink lots of wine and definitely have some interesting conversation - although not highly intelligent - suits me

I love the [arse-emotion] ... can we please have one, MNHQ

You have got me pondering this afternoon what came first though. Am I a writer because people fascinate me, or do people fascinate me because I am a writer? Hmm...

I meant it's true generally LadyPeter, not that I thought you're snarky

No I am a bitch in real life as well

Im far more tame online lool

Agent ZigZag

I think it's partly to do with (at least for me) not being able to see the other users...I'm horribly judgemental...and make assumptions on people based on one look at them... "what a weird bag...how could she carry that?" or "What a stunning woman...fake tits" ...I would not say these thoughts out loud but I DO think them.

It makes me sound really shallow...but I'm the total opposite...here, there are just thoughts, opinons and ideas....no odd outfits, weird offspring or peculiar husbands...to taint my opinon of other women.

It's like wearing a virtual burqa.

I know many of the sharpest posters on her may not be tertiary educated, but given the high proportion of tertiary educated women on MN, surely you would expect lots of MNers to be confident in researching facts and arguing their opinion, given those are skills that a university education is meant to give you?