to want my 5 year old to look like a 5 year old?

[SlightlyJaded]

Ok I probably am BU
And I am definitely being a snob

But... Like most 5 year olds, my dd has appalling taste and would gladly dress head to toe in Barbie themed tops, age inappropriate 'fashion' skirts / leggings etc and the more logos and glitter the better...

Now, I am not suggesting that she be permanently kitted out in Boden, Little White Company and Baby Joules (not that I can, nor would, pay £45 for a cotton skirt) and I have relented on some things like vile Disney Princess PJ's, Tinkerbell vests and pants, Hello Kitty Jeans and the like BUT my problem is that it's really hard to talk her in to nice clothes, and she really likes to come shopping and be allowed to choose sometimes.

I know it's not the end of the world, but short of explaining the concept of chavvy to her thus rendering her a complete snob (not unlike her mother) I don't know the words to use to put her off.

I have tried to tell her that things are not suitable for her age and then been blind-sided by a 3 year old with pierced ears in a pink fake fur coat strolling past

And nowhere is safe! Supermarkets, Charity Shops - even M&S seem to be full of nylon rouched tops with fricking studs on them. Any suggestions, or should I just roll over and embrace an exclusively pink, lilac and silver nylon wardrobe...??

Like a child...and not like a teeny-tiny teenager..in clothing designed to titilate.

Ananome....interesting interpretation...thankfully not one I share

Sorry but why would most of us not dress a five year old girl in knee- high boots, a mini skirt and a boobtube? Because they are inappropriate for their age. They are inappropriate because they sexualise the wearer, nothing to do with how they are worn.

I choose not to wear that type of outfit at the old age of 30 because they are slutty. Sorry if that word ruffles feathers but it is what I think.

stoppinattwo - you're missing the point a bit by saying that your DD has fantastic taste and then congratulating yourself that you let her choose what she likes. If you think it's fantastic taste then it's what you like too, clearly. Which is the exact opposite of the OP's problem.

Sigh...nobody was talking about knee high boots...you called Lelli Kelly's Slutty...they're flat shoes with sparkles.

Small child (about 4) standing outside school today wearing fishnet tights and high-heeled patent sandals. No fairy dress to convince me she was 'dressing up'.
Big sister (all of 9) appears in school uniform, sensible shoes and ...fishnets!
IMHO - 5 year olds should look cuddly!

I could look at a 5 year old and think that thy are dressed inappropriately but I could never look at a 5 year old and think "She looks like a slut". Just wouldn't cross my mind to think of a child like that.

Lelli Kelly make lots of heeled shoes anenome, I don't know why you think they don't.

I was giving examples of what I think is inappropriate clothing for a five year old. We were debating use if the word slutty, not the description if the shoes, no?

Try getting out of bed on the right side tomorrow, Anenome. Fgs.

Possibly I am Tipy ...but the thingwith dd is she really is interested in fashion....she isnt a confident kidbut with clothes she really seems to come out of herself....she loves the whole idea of design...I would hate someone to judge her as slutty because she had picked something that another thought inappropriate...

It is surely a matter of opinion....and alot of her outfits are really subdued

I use the opposite tactic with my 5-year-old DD who would quite happily dress herself in 'Hello Kitty' and a pink feather boa if she were let loose in the shops. If we ever go actual shopping (as opposed to online shopping) and she points out something horrible I'll say, "yes, that's alright... ooooh, look at this X, I think you'd look sooooo grown-up/pretty/sensible/ in this". Provided I select the adjective carefully I win. If she persists I'll suggest she add it to her birthday list or that she might like to save up for it - she doesn't get pocket money and is usually so excited by the prospect of choosing something new that she'll go with one of my suggestions.

She sometimes shows me things in catalogues/online and I always undertake to, "see if they've got that in your size next time I'm in Bluewater". There's an obvious follow-up response to that......

I don't think that the child looks slutty. I think that certain garments look slutty. Same as "cheap" looking clothes. I don't think they make the wearer look cheap I just think that their clothes look cheap.

And any shoe brand that uses infant age girls in fucking make-up and uses free lipgloss as an incentive to buy are very inappropriate.

• uses infant age girls in full make-up to advertise

LOL SE13m- yes... I sometimes resort to saying "Oh what a shame... there's none left in your size".

behold

However I do think that lots of smaller girls just want to wear what is fashionable such as leggings, tunics and uggs like their older sisters wear and this is not inappropriate. In the days of yore when all little girls wore smocking then teens and adult women were wearing stuff that was of the era too. Why should fashion change for the gen pop be be preserved in aspic for 5yo girls?

I agree with the OP it's so difficult to find nice clothes for my dd she does not want to wear wet look leggings and leopard print vests.

I increasingly find I have to go to more expensive shops to avoid the stuff I don't think would be suitable for an 18 year old.

cupcakesandbunting

I never got out the wrong side love...I just defend myself when people hoot at my opinions and call 5 year old's slutty.

As another poster said...a "thing" cannot be called "slutty"...it's inanimate..."slutty" is suggestive of behaviour...so you cannot call an object slutty...and if you do so in relation to clothing then you intimate the wearer is slutty...cheap clothing is nothing to do with sexual behaviour.

Do you shop in Next? M&S? H&M? All of those shops market makeup for kids...it's not slutty either...it's dressing up. I could see a kid in FULL makeup but I would never say she looked slutty.

Oh SistersGrim. Oh my.

YANBU... I hate this enforced sexualisation / ultra-feminisation of little girls with all this pink & sparkly stuff etc.

Actually it's really not better at all for mums of boys. I hate it that 90% of boys' clothes I find for my DS are either:

a) sporty (with numbers)
b) or have logos with a word along the lines of terror / monster / gangster

I find it very hard to find plain, colourful patterns that are appropriate for 2 year olds, and I hear it only gets worse!

What about H&M? Their 'little' kids range goes up to 8 (great for my DS, as everywhere else, it seems to go to 5, which is just too small for him, and I really don't like most older boys' clothes). There's a fair amount of non-glittery, non-desperately-candy-pink girls' stuff there too (just bought DD a lovely purple dress with owls on). I tend to find the sizes there run a bit big too.

Anemone, out of curiosity: if you saw a kid in FULL make-up (as you described) or for that matter with all that super-sparkly, pink stuff, what would be your response? OK, your argument is a fair one, you wouldn't think of the word 'slutty' (I agree with all you've written).

But what would your response be? Would you have any objections to that way of dressing and if so what would they be?

But I just don't see the distinction between a slutty item of clothing and the wearer of the clothing looking like a slut as one automatically leads to the other surely?

"I'm wearing my slutty shoes tonight" is the same thing as "I'm wearing shoes which make me look like a slut and that I'm totally up for it", so it woud follow that "That 5 year old is wearing slutty shoes" must be the same thing as "That 5 year old is wearing shoes which make her look like a slut and that she is totally up for it". Not a way I could ever see a child so even 4 inch stillettos for babies couldn't register to me as slutty, just impractical and inappropriate.

Maria2007loveshersleep

I wouldn't have one! Honestly...as the Mother of 2 DD's who both love dressing up and trying on my makeup I see it as innocent experimentation...I don't associate it with sexual behaviour.

Obviously it's not ok to wear outdoors...not because they look slutty but because makeup outside is a right of passage...an acknowledgement of impending womanhood and all the fun that goes with it.

Ew! That boot is too tacky to look at head-on. I think I may have blinded myself. :)

This is an interesting issue. I don't have any DDs at the moment, but I guarantee you they will not be wearing boots like that at the age of five. I don't think all boots are bad, and no I'm not a Boden mum, whatever that is, but just case in point I don't think the ones I've seen with dresses and leggings in the Mini Boden catalogue are objectionable.

I've run into issues with DS about character wear. Ick! I've had to compromise a bit and bought him Buzz Lightyear shoes, and he also has a Buzz Lightyear tshirt that someone gave him as a birthday gift, but that's wear I draw the line! :) No Spongebob sweatpants, no Diego-emblazoned tops. I know lots of little boys who have these and I don't think anything of it, it's just not what I like to put my own son in.

I think YANBU, and at this point just try to find small compromises. They'll be enough arguing about clothes later when she's sneaking out at night in a miniskirt and crop top. :o

anenome: 'designed to titillate', shorthand 'slutty'.