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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed of by atheist bigot FIL

38 replies

HannahHack · 17/09/2010 17:36

This was posted by my FIL on DP's wall, with regard to comments by Cardinal Kasper about British 'multiculturalism' "Alleged to refer to the number of coloured workers one sees on arrival at Heathrow? He also claims that a type of "aggresive neo atheism is widespread". Thank goodness for that. Do intelligent people need some
old fool in a frock coat telling what to think or how to act??!!"

I am a Catholic, a liberal one at that and my own father is an atheist. However, I was really shocked that an educated man in his 50s would repond to ignorant bigotry with ignorant bigotry. 'Coloured' ffs!

AIBU

OP posts:
StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 17/09/2010 17:41

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

It's probably a old fool in a frock coat.

Smile

Though I quite like frock coats, my DP owns and looks dead sexy in one.

cumfy · 17/09/2010 17:48

^Thank goodness for that. Do intelligent people need some
old fool in a frock coat telling what to think or how to act??!!^

Ummm, well do they ? Wink

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 17:49

It's not his views on Catholcism I am objecting to, it is the childishnes of his response. He knows I am going to see it to, and this is one thing in a long line of disrespectful rants. I respect his and DP's views. He should mine.

Plus, the use of the word 'coloured' really shocked me. I mean, does anyone still use that anymore?!

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 17/09/2010 17:49

I suppose a catholic would know what biggoted is

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 17:52

@BoneyBackJefferson Yes they do actually. Five years in a convent school gave me a pretty good bullshit detector, and this stinks!

OP posts:
StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 17/09/2010 17:55

You have the utmost right to believe as a Catholic. That is called freedom of conscience.

You do not have the right to never be offended or have your beliefs challanged.

Your FIl has the right to say what he wants - that is freedom of speach.

It's all good. Smile

queribus · 17/09/2010 17:55

'Coloured' is not generally acceptable or used widely in the UK, although people in their 50s may well use.

I'm amused that you've responded to his perceived bigotry with a little of your own - "atheist bigot FIL".

Is it the atheist bit that you're really bothered about? Also, it is more than likely that the Cardinal's comments were in relation to the multicultural workforce at Heathrow, and in conjunction with many of the other 'bigoted' utterances coming from the papal camp in recent days, I think your FIL is quite restrained actually.

A news broadcast yesterday featured a priest saying the priests who perpetrated abuse had made "mistakes". I personally find that far more offensive than an off the cuff use of the word 'coloured'.

My blood pressure has gone up - I'm going!

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 17/09/2010 17:56

Why should your beliefs be respected? Why?

Accepted as something you have a right to have, yes.

Respected? No, nobody has that right.

You earn that one.

Catrinm · 17/09/2010 18:00

I agree HannahHack, I'm a very lapsed Catholic and don't agree with many of its views on contraception, homosexuality women priests, i haven't been to mass for a very long time.

HOWEVER the nastiness of some mumsnetters and the Pope, Catholicism and other people of belief is as bigoted as some loony nasty religious nutter.

I respect my friend who believes in psychics , I know people who believe in homeopathy and reincarnation.

I respect their views, even though I think that frankly they are daft however on Mumsnet it is okay to think theists are frieks, thick and weird. The language is often nasty in tone

Not very liberal thinking.

Skyrg · 17/09/2010 18:01

Regarding the word 'coloured' I do there's some confusion over that. I know someone my age (19 at the time) who insisted that was the correct term. She was not remotely racist.

I think we've got so politically correct that we change acceptable words almost weekly. I do think people get confused... In all honesty, I would personally ignore the use of the word unless the context was negative.

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 18:01

Just to clarify here. I am not a bible-bashing apologist for the faith. I am horrifed by what has happened and furious about the Pope's visit. I am not offended by having my beliefes challenged, infact I welcome it. I am offended by the suggestion I have a problem with atheists.

However, I am shocked at how unthinking this is. I would never launch into a rant at him about his own lack of theological education. I think when it comes to family, people do need to take a more measured approach no matter how angry they are. Of course, while respecting one's right to freedom of expression. However, with him it is ill-informed rant after rant after rant.

OP posts:
Mammie81 · 17/09/2010 18:11

I dont think atheists are theologically uneducated.

cumfy · 17/09/2010 18:11

Does he think DP is "ranting" ?

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 18:14

@Mammie81 I never said atheists are theologically uneducated. Many of the atheists I know are more educated theolgically than many theists I know.Maybe that's the case for you too?
However, he is deeply uneducated in this area, and admits to actively chosing to be so. I think that is known as ignorance.

OP posts:
cumfy · 17/09/2010 18:15

Also I don't understand the references being made to coloured.

Maybe easiest just to cut and paste the whole thing, but appears the reference is to the cardinal's comments not his own interpretation; but I haven't seen the whole quote.

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 18:16

@cumfy I don't know what you mean. DP is an atheist who doesn't rant. He is very interested in religious systems, and though he doesn't agree with many aspects of them respects my views as considered and informed.

OP posts:
mablemurple · 17/09/2010 18:19

People in their 50s are not doddery old gimmers divorced from society. "Coloured" has not been acceptable for several decades now and you are right to be shocked.

Skyrg · 17/09/2010 18:24

Sorry, didn't finish that message! Just wanted to make the point that there's still debate about it, and while it is out-dated, it's not necessarily meant to be offensive.

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 18:24

@Skyrg I saw that too. However, would you want to use that term on FB where everyone could see it?

OP posts:
cumfy · 17/09/2010 18:25

Perhaps FIL was extemporising on these comments by the interviewer of the cardinal:

Focus is a conservative German weekly, and the interview with Kasper was conducted by its Rome correspondent, Eva Kallinger. Kallinger is a longstanding Vatican-watcher and knowledgeable about church affairs. But she has told other writers that she did not find her fellow German's opinions odd, that what he meant was that Britain is far more multicultural than other European nations and so you see far more races at Heathrow than at any other airport in Europe.

ie quoting interviewer's interpretation.

Is that your understanding OP ?

IsItMeOr · 17/09/2010 18:25

Hard to tell, as you're being fairly incomprehensible. What is it that makes you think that your father is being an atheist bigot?

You seem to be upset about the reference to "coloured", which is nothing to do with atheism.

Sounds like you just disagree with your FIL's point of view and are using his mistaken use of outdated language as an excuse to get more het up about it.

Skyrg · 17/09/2010 18:26

As I said earlier Hannah, my friend used the word recently and told me that was what was correct. I told her I didn't think it was 'these days' but I wasn't offended, she's not racist, therefore it wasn't meant badly.

I wouldn't personally use it, but I wouldn't be shocked if someone else did. In all honesty, I don't see how it's much worse than calling someone 'black'.

Original poster
HannahHack · 17/09/2010 18:28

@cumfy Yes, that is my understanding. However, I don't think the best way to respond to outdated bigotry by using outdated bigoted language.

@IsItMeOr That is why I think he is a bigot.

OP posts:
curryfreak · 17/09/2010 18:29

But isin't is really funny that atheists expend so much energy on hating religion,- something which they profess interferes with their lives as non-believers. I'm always amused by this!