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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I probably am, but I don't want anyone messing with DD's hair.

35 replies

LynetteScavo · 16/09/2010 21:09

DD is in Y1, and part of the PPP time is covered by a female gym instructor.

Which should be great, as she has also taken my older 2 DC, But both of the older ones have expressed their dislike for her.

DS2 doesn't like anyone who shouts, (Which rules out 50% of staff in school, fair enough) but DS2 likes everyone, he's like an innocent puppy, and I can see he would be potentially very good at gymnastic, but because he hasn't had an initial happy experience with this teacher has refused to go to gym after school.

That's the background.
Today DD came home and told me all the girls had to have bobbles in their hair before they did gym. DD told me she had two bobbles put in her hair, on either side of her head.

Now IMO, DD really didn't need bobbles putting in. She had a shotr(chin length) bob. (Think the Petit Filou girl), with a bobble to hold the hair out of her eyes.The reason she has this hairstyle is because her ears really stick out. And I mean really.

I know I'm a bit control freaky when it comes to my DC, and especially their hair, but for some reason this has really peed me off.

DD was telling us about it during tea, and both DS's said it's what this instructor does. I asked if she had ever put a bobble in DS1's hair (his hair is much longer than DD's) and he said no, but she had threatened.

He also said she was so unpopular with his class in Y^ (last year) that they had all sat down and refused to do anything.Hmm

So am I unreasonable that someone I don't know has been unnecessarily, IMO, put bobbles in DD's hair? I'm really cross about this, but I don't even know why I'm so cross.

OP posts:
bigfootbeliever · 16/09/2010 21:12

If that is what's required there should be something in the school rules.

Even so, you should be the one putting the bobbles in not her. Yuck!

YANBU

Easywriter · 16/09/2010 21:14

YANBU I don't think I'd be happy with that either. Not really sure why but it seems like unnecessary contact with my child and also if the boboles aren't your daughters own, then it's not very hygenic is it.

Rockbird · 16/09/2010 21:14

Not quite seeing the problem. They have to have their hair tied up for gym, so the teacher tied it up, yes? That sounds ok to me, is that what you have the issue with? Or is it that the teacher is creepy?

Anenome · 16/09/2010 21:16

YANBU....I would not be happy either and would complain. My DD is in yr 2 and the school hhas strict rules that girls with hair longer than shoulder length must tie it up...but to put bobbles in a childs hair when she has a BOB! That smacks of singling her out!

I would go in and nicely tell the teacher not to do that again. On pain of a kick up her arse!

natz23 · 16/09/2010 21:16

i can understand you being upset, if its a big deal to you then its a big deal!
cant you speak to the gym instructor and tell them your concerns about the hair ordeal?

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 16/09/2010 21:17

The teachers not creepy, just a grumpy old cow.

Nothing has been said to us about hair needing to be tied up.

OP posts:
singarainbow · 16/09/2010 21:19

At our school, if the girls with long hair don't have their hair out of their faces, for anything, they are given hairbands/bobbles to put in themselves, or the teachers do it. It has happened to DD a few times when she has taken her hair out after we tied it up, buts its no big deal, its the school rules.
What is so unnerving about this teacher? Would you have felt the same if it was warm fluffy teacher who did it?

Rockbird · 16/09/2010 21:20

Oh ok, I read the op as the teacher being a bit weird (probably remembering my own gym teacher :o)

Was everyone else's hair up? If so then I think YABU. Hair does need to be out of the way for gym and it would probably get in the way of her eyes, even a bob if no fringe. If she singled her out then that's different.

And as for other people's bobbles being unhygenic, fgs!

mumeeee · 16/09/2010 21:20

YABU, If it is the school rules then your DD should have bobbles in her hair. It's only a couple of bobbles.

musicmadness · 16/09/2010 21:21

Not seeing a big problem here really. If the hair needs to be tied up it needs to be tied up. I don't think I've ever known a gym lesson where anyone with hair long enough to tie up was allowed to keep it down. Can't you or your DD tie it back if you don't want the teacher touching her hair?

JorrisBohnson · 16/09/2010 21:22

There will be a health and safety rule somewhere that says girls with long hair need it tied up for gym, for obvious reasons really. The rule probably doesn't say anything about boys because it's not all that common for boys to have hair so long you can get it in a pony tail, even with this fashion for longer hair on boys.

If the choice is either the teacher puts her up or she has to sit out and not take part because her hair isn't tied up what would you prefer?

Why do you not like the idea of this teacher touching her hair to get it out of her way and follow the rules? I don't really see the connection between the teachers popularity and you objecting to her touching your DDs hair?

There aren't many diseases you can get from a pre-used hairband.

Easywriter · 16/09/2010 21:23

Unhygenic??? Of course they are (or is it just me? given that head lice are already doing the rounds at our school this term?)

Easywriter · 16/09/2010 21:24

Or is unhygenic the wrong word for some thing that can allow transmission of things like lice?

Rockbird · 16/09/2010 21:27

I think you'd see the lice on a bobble fairly easily. You can see them jumping off kids' heads!

Easywriter · 16/09/2010 21:28

OK

mumbar · 16/09/2010 21:32

I had the head lice letter already too!!

I think if school rules state tie it up or we will fair enough but some people keep their childs hair shorter as they don't want it tied up, or so they don't have to. It does sound a little abrupt with a young child - but then the young child is telling the story iyswim??

Be grateful it was a bobble tho our teachers used elastic bands straight from the pot .

mumeeee · 16/09/2010 21:37

Head lice can't get transfreerd from a hair bobble they can only transfer from hair to hair.

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 16/09/2010 21:41

I'm not sure if I would feel differently if I already liked the woman....Hmm

Next Thursday I might send her in with several bobbles already in her hair. She will look outrageous,and ridiculous, but will love it.

I really don't know why they would put more bobbles in already bobbled hair. DD may well have asked for them. I think I'll just ask for her to have no more bobbles put in.

OP posts:
Rockbird · 16/09/2010 21:45

Just tie her hair back from her face on the days she has PE. Can't see the problem.

TheBolter · 16/09/2010 21:46

I think, tbh, you are over-analysing this and sounding just a wee bit dramatic.

I think you are letting your views of this woman cloud your judgement. I don't think the teacher has actually done anything wrong. Bobbed hair can fall over the face even more than long hair, so it should be tied up for gym.

SE13Mummy · 16/09/2010 21:48

I do think you're overreacting somewhat; you are clearly highly sensitive about your DD's ears but the gym instructor will have put the bobbles in because she felt they were necessary, not because she wanted to make it obvious that your DD's ears stick out!

At my school all children with long hair are expected to have it tied back for PE...if it's not long enough to go ino bobbles then it doesn't. If they haven't got hair bands with them I offer them elastic bands. If they can't tie their hair back themselves or ask me to do it then I do so. Sometimes I even offer Shock.

My own 5-year-old has her hair in a chin-length bob too but can only put hairclips in independently. If one of her teachers felt that her hair needed to be tied back for PE then it wouldn't bother me one bit if someone did it for her. Why would it?!?

emptyshell · 17/09/2010 14:48

I have a massive bag of hair bobbles I bought for a quid somewhere that I keep and give away when kids come in and try to do PE with hair all over the place so they can't even see where they're going half the time. Never ask for them back, never re-use them... just to stop the crying about hygiene issues. I shouldn't HAVE to pay out my own money for that - but it's preferable to the "has anyone got a spare hair bobble so-and-so can borrow for swimming" scratch around the class fest that's the alternative.

It's a bit of a pathetic thing to be getting in a strop about. And I regularly have to help kids get their hair back in after it's come out/they've taken it out within 20 seconds of entering the classroom - would you have a go at me for that too?

They were trying to be helpful (it's not nice getting a gobful of hair) - you just don't like them so you're looking for an excuse to have a pop at them.

Original poster
LynetteScavo · 17/09/2010 15:34

Well, I've been thinking about this, and I've realised I'm just really precious about my DC's hair.

I certainly don't want to "have a pop" at this person (I've decided I probably won't say anything, but will send her with 3 bobbles in her hair next Thursday) it's just the thought of her doing my DD's hair make me cringe.

She couldn't possibly get a mouth full of hair...her hair isn't that long!

We tried 3 bobbles today, and it make her look like some sort of weird alien, but hey

OP posts:
Original poster
LynetteScavo · 17/09/2010 15:40

[[http://www.hairfinder.com/celebrityhairstyles/alice-evans.jpg this is pretty much the same as DD's hair.

Is a 5 year old going to do such wild gym in the school hall that she needs to have horizontal bunches sprouting from the side of her head? Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
LynetteScavo · 17/09/2010 15:40

Opps! Here

OP posts: