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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel really uncomfortable about the family on C4

50 replies

Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 21:28

Who took their family around the world sailing for a year in "My Crazy Gap Year".

The kids are 2 and 4 and watching it I just feel that is is really irresponsible to put such young kids in a potentially life threatening situation. I am all for travelling the world etc as a family but this seems a bit extreme - the kids are in real danger and they haven't had a choice about it....

AIBU feeling uncomfortable watching it or just Judgey Mcjudgey...?

OP posts:
wineonafridaynight · 13/09/2010 21:30

I think YABU a little. Although I was surprised that they aren't wearing life jackets as they are so young. And I also get the impression it's more for the parents as the kids are too young to remember.

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 21:30

Was about to say I haven't seen them weearing life jackets once....

OP posts:
ifancyashandy · 13/09/2010 21:31

My friend did this with her kids - sailed round the world for a year. Home educated them on board. They had the most amazing time and no-one came to any harm.

I would do the same in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity.

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 21:37

Its not doing it with kids ... I think its the age of them that disturbs me...

OP posts:
lemonysweet · 13/09/2010 21:42

i know a wonderful woman who did this but did it when her kids were 8, 10 and 13, for a year. they got shipwrecked and had to be rescued by a japanese cargo liner. but they were always wearing life jackets and still have those same jackets and kids are all in 30's now...

sincitylover · 13/09/2010 21:44

I would have found it hard to contain dcs of that age in such a limited space.

Bit selfish of the parents imo

Wouldn't object to them trekking on land though.

ifancyashandy · 13/09/2010 21:46

My friends kids were similar in age (3 and 4). They all had an amazing, fabulous time.

Friends and family flew out to see them in various exotic locations and you can get off the boat on occassion to let kids run about!

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 21:51

I hate to say this and will be flamed but I wonder is this a middle class thing?

These parents have put very young children in severe danger without protecting them fully (life jackets) for their own selfish ends (they have admitted the children will remember nothing do not seem to be being stimulated and are very confined) the children will gain nothing from this at 2 and 4.

Older children yes great.

Yetits sailing so its "ok".

How is this different to smoking in the car with your kids on board or other things which people get so irate about?

They are putting their kids lives at risk. End of.

OP posts:
sethstarkaddersmum · 13/09/2010 21:52

Have you read Libby Purves's wonderful book One Summers Grace about sailing round Britain with her kids who were about that age?

There are risks to sailing but given how little time they'll be spending crossing roads during that year, I very much doubt they're in any more danger than they would have been at home - probably a lot less....

sethstarkaddersmum · 13/09/2010 21:53

I don't know why they're not wearing lifejackets though

FlorenceDaphne · 13/09/2010 21:55

Sethstarkaddersmum: It's so sad, because her son, who's a delightful five yearold in that book, committed suicide fairly recently.

sethstarkaddersmum · 13/09/2010 21:58

I know Florence Sad
Which I imagine makes them even more glad they did it - did you see that furiously brilliant column she wrote shortly after her son's death where she wrote about what a consolation memories of holidays were and urged people to donate to a charity which paid for holidays for people who could't afford them?

FallingWithStyle · 13/09/2010 21:59

Disagree the kids are too young to get anything out of it.

Given the chance I would do it, absolutely.

sincitylover · 13/09/2010 22:01

yes it's a mc thing not many people can afford to sail

cheesesarnie · 13/09/2010 22:03

can you honestly say you wouldnt given a chance?
why is it a class thing?

lindamouse · 13/09/2010 22:04

its the ages of kids that is the disturbuting its not for kids only for selfish parents, maybe fair enough if kids were older!

Meglet · 13/09/2010 22:04

Libby Purves Sad Sad.

I love her book.

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 22:08

I would do it with my kids at over 10 and where they were in a position to have a say.

The "crossing the road" arguement is bollocks. Most sensible people use a crossing and hold their kids hands. These lids aren't wearing life jackets and they ate a poisoness(sp?)red looking fish which could've killed them because they didn't check properly.

I just think the parents aren't fufilling their duty of care to their children.

OP posts:
FallingWithStyle · 13/09/2010 22:09

But why are their ages disturbing?

Even if they were too young to take much from the experience, why shouldn't the parents do something they want to do?

If your point is purely the risk involved then I would say any family who make car journeys on a daily basis are selfish too (I dont think that btw, but based on that argument...)

ifancyashandy · 13/09/2010 22:11

Smoking around kids can lean to asthma, chest infections etc etc. No good can come of it.

Sailing round the world may lead to cries of 'man overboard!' but they'll be more chances of kids learning loads and seeing even more.

Even if they don't remember everything, they'll be set up with tolerance towards different cultures and desire to explore and see the world.

No similarity between the two.

sincitylover · 13/09/2010 22:12

'gap years' are a mc thing of course - wc kids usually have to work if they take year out between sixth form and university.

Adult gap year - how do you fund them unless you have loadsa money?

The sort of family I grew up in thinks anything like this is indulgent (they thought a six week trip I took to Oz was indulgent).

Yes I would do it but it's not the automatic thing for the likes of the working class - and I speak as one myself.

I would not have taken a year out with dcs of that age but would consider it when older. But unless I won the lottery that isn't going to happen.

MollieO · 13/09/2010 22:12

Not watching it but are the children clipped on with lines instead of life jackets? Personally at that age I'd do both means if they fell overboard they are still connected to the boat. To do nothing is completely irresponsible. Also pretty pointless trip at those ages as they won't remember it - well the 4 yr old might a bit but I doubt very much that the 2 yr old would. On that basis alone I'd assume it is purely escapism for the parents.

sincitylover · 13/09/2010 22:13

you can learn tolerance to other cultures by living in the inner city.

sethstarkaddersmum · 13/09/2010 22:13

If they are doing it carelessly and irresponsibly then I agree, that is.... careless and irresponsible.
But that doesn't make sailing round the world irresponsible per se.

The crossing the road argument is not bollocks. It is a risk you choose to take every day. I bet you take your children out in the car or cross roads with them when it is not strictly necessary, eg you want to go shopping when you could easily stay in and use the internet or you go out as a family for whatever it is your family does for fun.
You are choosing to take different risks from the ones people who sail with young children are choosing.

Francagoestohollywood · 13/09/2010 22:17

Well, I wouldn't do it, but that's because I wouldn't want to be stuck on a sailing boat with a 2 and a 4 yr old for 1 year.
But horses for courses, I don't think it is that irresponsible for parents to choose this. Ofcourse the children should wear a life jacket.

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