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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel really uncomfortable about the family on C4

50 replies

Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 21:28

Who took their family around the world sailing for a year in "My Crazy Gap Year".

The kids are 2 and 4 and watching it I just feel that is is really irresponsible to put such young kids in a potentially life threatening situation. I am all for travelling the world etc as a family but this seems a bit extreme - the kids are in real danger and they haven't had a choice about it....

AIBU feeling uncomfortable watching it or just Judgey Mcjudgey...?

OP posts:

Skyrg · 13/09/2010 22:21

Watching it now, they're clipped on to ropes attached to the boat. Agree they're a bit young to fully appreciate it though...

ifancyashandy · 13/09/2010 22:21

You can indeed Sincity - doesn't mean that's the only exposure one should have. Ain't nothing like living in a coutry to really understand / feel how it ticks but neither one is better than the other.

I want my kids to see the world - and that includes their home country as well as overseas.

Original poster

Ladyanonymous · 13/09/2010 22:29

BTW I went travelling in NZ with a 9 wk old baby -

I have a problem with the sailing through dangerous seas and the fact that only once they were clipped on during the filming - the rest og the time they weren't even in the Dinghy to shore.

OP posts:

Curlybrunette · 13/09/2010 22:30

Francagoestohollywood I am with you 100 million %. Why the hell would you want to trap yourself on a boat with 2 toddlers for a year. Sounds like hell on earth to me!!!

One thing travelling on land where the kids can run around but on a tiny boat...

Though the previous week when the family where travelling up the very dangerous mountain road and 1 car rolled over the edge. WTF were the parents doing letting the 2 sons go in the car by themselves while they went in with the daughter. I think one of them should definately have been in with the boys.

sincitylover · 13/09/2010 22:32

apparently the guy was moaning about meeting the locals (see other thread in tellyaddicts)

Merrylegs · 13/09/2010 22:34

Ah, but ifancy - the parents are both sailors AND smokers. Honestly, them kids have got no chance.....

MollieO · 13/09/2010 22:34

Curly I missed last week's was it the Namibia one? I've been there and helped in the aftermath of a car crash where a Landrover rolled - not many cars but pretty much all dirt roads and these type of accidents aren't uncommon. Again does seem to be irresponsible to leave the children unaccompanied. Maybe irresponsibility is part of the theme of this series.

ifancyashandy · 13/09/2010 22:41

Just because he was moaning about meeting people, doesn't mean the rest of the family were / do. But Sincity, I suspect that no matter what, you are not going to see another point of view on this one!

And MerryLegs, I'd wager them fags were 'special'!

Skyrg · 13/09/2010 22:49

Now they have poisoned the family with fish!

Bellagio · 14/09/2010 00:24

YANBU. I switched it on very near the end just at the fish eating bit and my first thought was that you'd have to be crazy to do a trip like that with kids.
Fair enough when there are only the two of you to worry about, if you get into trouble, too bad - but dragging young children along, unfair.

colditz · 14/09/2010 00:28

Selfish and arrogant of them to assume that being tied to the side of a boat whilst your parents sail is any different to being tied up in the garden whilst your parents watch Jeremy Kyle.

Kewcumber · 14/09/2010 00:33

Just watched the piracy programme which included the french family with toccler sailing through the gulf of Aden past Somalia who were kidnapped. Father died - shot by French military (presumably by accident). Very sad.

But agree with COlditz

hidetheelephant · 14/09/2010 00:42

ifancyashandy

Did your friend's kids wear life jackets though? That's what disturbs me.

mrsunreasonable · 14/09/2010 07:36

I think the programme makers did a bad job of portraying what life was really like for this family.

There two year old was in disposable nappies - that must have been inconvenient to say the least - did they carry all the dirty nappies all the way to Australia or dispose of them on one of the pristine islands they visited!

I am assuming they must be fairly intelligent people to have so much money that they can afford to do this yet they let their 4 year old along with themselves eat a fish without properly researching what it was - if they found out on the internet later it wasn't safe to eat why could they not find that out BEFORE they ate it. Tell me exactly what would have happened if all three of them had died/been seriously ill and left the two year old alone?!

RunawayWife · 14/09/2010 07:44

YABU the only think I thought was shame the kids were so little they would not remember most of it.

Also NEVER eat a fish you don't know

MrsC2010 · 14/09/2010 10:00

Apart from life jackets YABU. Sailing isn't an extreme sport and when done responsibly is very safe. This is certainly something we would look at doing when/if we had the cash and time. We're both lifelong sailors and anticipate that our kids (we only have one so far and she is only 5 wks old so a little premature!) will be too, they'll be given every opportunity at least.

Skyrg · 14/09/2010 10:01

I did also think that the kids weren't necessarily getting much out of it... Apart from when they were on the islands or when they saw dolphins, they spent most of their time in the cabin playing with toys, which they could have done at home.
I think it's a fantastic thing to do, but if they'd waited longer the kids could have helped with the sailing, helped fish or even just written about what they did.

MrsC2010 · 14/09/2010 10:03

Oh, and harnesses are actually safer for kiddies that age than lifejackets (especially if they were panickers), better they don't go in the water at all than just be given the means to float in it!

Deliaskis · 14/09/2010 10:18

There were a couple of things that made me uneasy, mainly that they did seem to be a bit unprepared/negligent on a couple of things.

One of the first things the guy said was that they had never sailed the boat in heavy seas and didn't know how it would handle. So sailing around the world in it with two kids didn't seem like a particularly wise thing to do until you had fully stretched the capabilities of the boat and had a comfortable handle on what it could and couldn't do.

Then the fish thing was just irresponsible. They looked it up on the internet AFTER they ate it, when they were already ill. Why not before?

Apart from that, I do think it was fairly selfish of them, in that the kids were too young to get much benefit out of it. Yes they would see the world, but at that age would only remember living for a year on a white plastic boat and swimming in the sea. It's not like they would really understand anything about where they had been and what they had seen.

Having said that, there are other benefits. The kids have learned how to entertain themselves without TV/Nintendo or spending money etc. which is a life skill in itself, and they have obviously bonded as a family. They would have got more out of it had they been a couple of years older though.

On the whole I agree with MrsC2010 in that sailing isn't an extreme sport and done responsibly can be extremely safe. However, there were a couple of things that I felt were irresponsible, and I definitely think the parents were doing it more for their own amusement than for anything the kids might get out of it. Not that this is necessarily a problem. Maybe the kids have also learnt that they are not the only ones in the world and don't get to dictate what adults do or don't get to do, let alone what the family is going to eat for dinner etc.

Blu · 14/09/2010 10:20

Apart from the complete idiocy of eating that fish (I was screeching at the screen as they pulled it out, 'don't eat that!' - as there is a strong chance that something bright red has it's colouring as a warning to predators not to eat it - and it looked nothing like a snapper!), I thought it would be a brilliant experience. And I am sure that the 4 yo especially will actually develop in a very self-sufficient way as a result - being alongside his parents as they deal with all the practicalities, helping pull ropes, learning the mechanics, eating new foods, catching it themselves.

If you do the maths about sailing 200 miles a day, then actually the majority of days were not spent afloat on the ocean - but admittedly some long stints. The cabins and the deck of that boat presumably add up to a small flat with a small yard outside. Much of the point of it was to get the dad to spend time with his kids - it worked fom that pov.

But I wondere about the nappies issue - where they stored the huge number needed, disposing of them, etc.

The guy seemed a bit obsessive and odd, and I agree it was terrifying to be in a remote bay thousands of miles fom medical help - I wouldn't do that with small children, but the idea of taking them sailing for a year - great!

Actually, had they spent more time with locals, they may have learned more about local fish....he did say he enjoyed meeting them, after his initial reluctance.

sethstarkaddersmum · 14/09/2010 10:27

There was an article in a yachting magazine a few years ago about a couple who lived aboard with a tiny baby and they used washable nappies and washed them by trailing them behind the boat.
They said 'I don't know how we would have managed if her skin had reacted to the salt.'

ruthie48 · 14/09/2010 10:27

Unfortunately this programme makes good telly!I would however love to take a year off travelling but there is the little thing called money! Oh and I am a nurse in NHS so defo can,t afford time off though I would take a sabatical if I could be bothered which I can,t! It,s stressful enough having kids in the 6 week summer break, never mind all flaming year!!

SkiHorseWonAWean · 14/09/2010 10:45

YABU.

weegiemum · 14/09/2010 10:51

We backpacked round Central America with a 5yo, 3yo, 16mo, and had a ball. Scarey chicken buses, boat trips, treks (appropriate length) into the jungle etc...

The 5yo (now 10) can remember a lot, the others, well ds still talks about riding in the "red hiccup truck" (when we all bounced around int he back of a pickup) and dd2 remembers nothing.

But we are glad we did it - even at that age, expanding horizons etc is a Good Thing.

I wouldn't sail - not interested, don't know how. But we have continued to travel with our kids and if we could take a year off to do a RTW with them, we'd be off like a shot!

RunawayWife · 14/09/2010 10:52

We sail, my DSs love it.
DPs parents own a boat and go off sailing for months at a time, his Dad will also crew boats for others.
I would love to do what the people on TV did last night, however I would have an escape plan in case of an emergency, I would not eat a fish I had no Knowles of, but thats about it

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