in not letting 13yr old DD have her belly, nose or tongue pierced?

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

FFS please tell her whether I am. Am too tired to set out argument

No you're not. I don't think it's legal for a 13 yo to get any of these things pierced and any reputable piercing place wouldn't do it.

Aaargh, how the hell did that post itself!

What I meant to say is that I'm too tired to think of a reasonable argument against so please can someone think of one - she is grinding me down!!! [not that I will be giving in any time soon of course].

Oh and she wants a tatoo - Cheryl Cole has a lot to answer for!

No, you are not being unreasonable. If your mum can't step in to stop you making yourself look like a mini-Jodie Marsh, who can?

Want something to fire back at her so she shuts up about it once and for all .

YANBU!

Isn't it illegal at 13? And it is very painful I believe (only have my ears pierced and I cried like a baby at 18). Infections and the tongue piercing will damage teeth and affect speech.

Apparently lots of her schoolfriends mums have let them have it done . I really hope that is'nt true.

yanbu
ds had to wait until he was over 16

if it helps tell her I'm 27 and got my belly button done when I was 15. I took it out when I was 17 as I thought it looked too common and it's never healed.

My sister got her done and when she was pregnant the pircing split and now she has an awful scar.

Tongue piercings damage your teeth and make you speak with a lisp and hurt like hell. And nose piercings look like a spot.

Has she got her ears done?

It's illegal before you're 14- I had mine done (tummy) when I was 14. My mum wasn't happy about it but came with me anyway because she knew I'd go and do it anyway :)
I think nose piercings look like big spots anyway- that might put her off !

It's illegal

Cheryl Cole is over 25

and tell her it's bed time while you're at it

Just say to her 'you're not the girl i thought you were'... That's what my mum said to me when i had the top of my ear pierced at 15... The earring stayed in for a total of 6 hours...but it was 1994! ha ha ha!

Set her a target? Tell her she can if she waits until she's 14, 15 or whatever you're more comfortable with? Go for something as non publicly visible as possible (belly button I guess) and hope she gets bored with it and takes it out later.

She's not going to just change her mind about wanting one, no matter what you say and if it were me I'd rather agree a compromise on a piercing than risk her having an irreversible tattoo done behind my back to spite me.

Can't bear piercings or tattoos myself, but each to their own I guess!

YANBU!

I can't think of any practical advice other than maybe showing her Youtube clips of elderly people with piercings and tattoos.

I had a belly-piercing when I was old enough to know better (27) and DH rips the piss out of me for it. I don't have a bad figure and people always ask me which classes I'm taking when I go to the gym (none - I just watch DS swim and freeze) but I hate having the scar.

Things like that end up looking odd and besides they're not the province of the young and rebellious any more. Even Ozzy Osbourne says that if you really want to be original don't fucking well have one.

Er, not to say that they don't suit some people. More confident people than I am obviously.

Haha, thanks all. She's just read your replies on her way to bed and has decided to wait until she's 14 (not on her bloody life), just need her to shut up about it now until we got through it all again when she reaches 14! I have told her she can do it when she's 18 and not before but I am being unreasonable of course. Yes she has her ears pierced.

She's obsessed, she's even been looking at piercing videos on YouTube FFS. Will have to keep her busier I guess .

YANBU and you should show her pics of piercings (like mine) which haven't healed up in later life after the thrill has gone.

I have a big hole in my eyebrow caused by a book falling on my head in a library right onto my piercing

I accept my scar because it's part of me, but I would really caution others against piercing and body modification because the the risk of permanent scarring (as in my case) is huge.

Just a quick warning - its over 16 you no longer need parental consent for piercings (apart from genital/nipple), not 18.
Arguments for when she next brings it up:

Nose- if it goes wrong you are left with a scar in the middle of your face for the rest of your life

Tongue- If they hit an artery in the tongue it can be very dangerous. It damages your teeth and you are basically living on mush for several weeks after getting it done because in most cases the pain is excrutiating.

Navel - If you haven't finished growing which she probably hasn't it will grow out and she will be left with a scar.

Personally I like piercings (and have several) but people should only get them if they know the risks and are willing to accept that if you don't look after it properly or if you are just unlucky then it can go wrong. Thats the main reason I have no facial piercings, I'm not that desperate for a nose piercing [wistful face] that I would be willing to risk scarring.

I feel for you here - as the mum of a DD who did the piercing thing (but not until she was 16 and I had no legal say) and then did the tattoo thing.
This was around 6-8 years ago and she refused to tell me which tattoo parlour it was or I would have gone round and given them a piece of my mind because she was not 18 at the time.
I bloody hate it and so does her Dad but I suspect if I had gone out and got tattoos and piercings done it would not have been quite so "cool" anymore. Reverse psychology possibly??
At least the tattoos are not obvious (small of back and instep) and she did not get her tongue or nose pierced, just the belly button and top of her ear.

yanbu

Pick your battles. Piercings don't last if you no longer use them. Let her have something pierced and she'll be happy, but don't let her have a tattoo - it's a life changing event and she is far too young.

Remind her of what she liked just two years ago - ask her how happy she would be now if she had a tattoo of whatever it was.

But grudgingly agreeing to something that makes no difference to you or her really will make her think she's got one over on you - that should last a while, at least!

YANBU, way too young IMO.

YANBU. My then 14yo went through all this and was most peed off that I said no. TOUGH! :o

As for the "Oh but everyone else has them, Jane's mum has let her" whine, that's easy. When you give her a list of chores and she complains just tell her, "Everyone else does chores, Jane's mum makes her do them...". :o

Remind her too that other DCs parents make them iron their own uniform/babysit their little brother/whatever, but she doesn't have to do those things, because you're not other DCs parents. You're not even like them, you're you, and you do X Y and Z for her and CARE about her.