to post on my Brothers FB

[bottyburpthebarbarian]

"Did you get the card and money I sent for your child's birthday"

My brother was over on holiday at the start of the summer.

We got on fine while he was here - his wife decided I was her new "big sister".

(There is a backstory but it is long a boring)

Anyway, all was fine.

Today is his child's birthday.

I sent a card with a cheque in it on Wednesday first class.

Have had no acknowledgement of the card - no text, phone call or anything

(This is the same brother who I phoned and texted to tell him I had been accepted to uni and got no acknowledgement)

So, AIBU to post "did you get the card I sent" on his FB wall?

yes.

phone him and ask.

fb wall is not about asking him but about letting other people know, isn't it?

tried phoning him earlier today - he's not answering - DD1 left a message

If the birthday is only today maybe he'll be in touch tomorrow, they might be busy doing stuff today.

not answering mobile or house phone? They've probably gone out for the day.

email him and he can reply when he gets back in?

facebook wall is just so public and it will be taken as a criticism of him.

Sorry but if you do insist on posting on FB (which I think is wrong!) please could you alter the wording. "for your child's birthday" sounds horrible and I suspect you're pissed off at your brother but even so the wording sounds wrong when referring to your niece of nephew.

YABU. Send him a FB message or better still call.

I would name the child if I did post - just not going to name the child on here iyswim

Have phoned mobile, house phone and wife's mobile as my girls want to speak to their cousin to wish Happy Birthday.

Have phoned in the late morning, this afternoon, and again about half an hour ago on his house phone and I know from his FB status that they are in the house.

I don't know what I've done - why he wouldn't be answering ??

Blimey yabvu, the birthday is today, they are hardly likely to stop what they are doing to ring round with messages of thanks.

If he hasnt rung by tomorrow late afternoon, just give him a quick ring to see if they got it, and see if the child had a good day.

perhaps your card didn't arrive and they're pissed off that you forgot?

Have you left messages on ansaphones?

"Hi, been trying to get in touch to wish X happy birthday and to check s/he got the card and pressie, I'll try again later. love you."

I never acknowledge birthday gifts until at least the actual day because thats when they are opened.
Normally its a day of so after because we are busy.
& I agree with other posts - FB wall is for a public conversation, something like this should be more private. Unless you are trying to make a point publicly but I'm sure nagging sister isn't the look you are going for.

you expect a personal thank you on the same day as the birthday?
blimey

YABU

Maybe he's having a difficult or stressful day. You sound a bit full on and pushy tbh

Hecate - yes have left a message on house phone and mobile and DD1 has left a message on house phone as well.

He's expressed a fairly strong negative opinion to my Mum about me going to uni, which she took great delight in relaying to me. All I said to her was "well I'm very pleased and really think if X has something to say about it, he would be better speaking to me directly rather than expecting you to relay his messages"

Oh well, that'll be it then bugger him.

Do you think he's jealous of you going to uni?

Hecate -the reason for it even being an issue is because he got my Mum to Fakewrite a card from him and his wife for my DD2 birthday this year and made a whole row with my Mum because I didn't phone him the day Mum gave it to me (which was the weekend before DD's birthday) and Mum was screaming at me down the phone that he was upset that I hadn't phoned.

Told you there was a backstory!! And that doesn't even scratch the surface

And yes, from what my Mum said, I think he is jealous - it was all "well Botty will have to be sure to do this and that and this and the other"

bloody hell.

Well, in light of all that, I've changed my mind.

bugger him. You've left messages. Sod him.

I suppose the real AIBU (because I would never actually post on his FB wall I like to think I have more class lol) is should I bother next year?

yes. because his child shouldn't be penalised, should they?

No they shouldn't

I know

I am just pissed off that I made an effort and he can't acknowledge it and when he doesn't even make an effort and gets my mum to fake it for him he expects a phone call

Double standards

Why didn't you say that in your OP then?!

In light of the info, no, you're not BU.

I DID say there was a backstory - I was trying not to go into it, but sure its pointless the aibu didn't make sense without it.

I'm going to text Mum on Monday if I've heard nothing and say "Do you know if my card for XXX arrived ok"

Probably will phone her actually and casually drop it into the conversation

Try waiting until the day is over.

He may be busy out celebrating his childs birthday perhaps.

YABU to expect it on the day. My thank yous have always been done in the following days or possibly a quick phone call in the evening.

I gave my sister a very nice present and card for her birthday in May. She lives not very far from me and her best mates house backs onto my street. I haven't heard a single thing from her. That is when you can be pissed off about not getting a thank you, and they wonder why I don't like to bother getting her anything at all when she never ever says thank you but expects nice presents.

Detective- He's in the house - he's on FB

I never have got a thank you, but expected one given the song and dance he made about my DD- sauce for the goose and all that.

There is a long long backstory -was easier when we had very little contact

so why not just go back to having very little contact?

I don't understand why people have folks in their lives that they don't like or love.

(being forced to work with an arsehole is not included I'm talking private life, not work life)