to not want to cut down my buddleia?

[loopyloops]

We moved into our house last year, which has required a ridiculous amount of renovation (had been empty for months, previously occupied by oddballs with very odd taste, kitchen had been ripped out etc.)
Next door neighbours both sides are nice enough. One one side is a lady of around 70. She has asked me many times to cut down a buddleia that borders our two properties, but is on our side. Now, I love it. Yes it is tall, but shorter than the beech, willow and two massive conifers on her side that block my view. All of these trees are on the border between the properties.
Now, it would appear that the only reason she wants me to chop it down is because "buddleia are supposed to be shrubs, not trees". Not because it is restricting her view, shading her garden or any other practical reason. (The other trees do this already). I love it because it attracts the bees and butterflies. Neighbours on the other side recently cut down their beautiful lilac to maximise their view, so insects will already have been displaced. Also, it is simply not on my priority list, there is still so much to do on the house.
So, am I being unreasonable to not cut it down? It is too big and awkwardly placed to do ourselves, we would need to get a specialist, so I really resent paying for something that I don't want to happen. She came over yesterday with the details of one she has used before.

As far as I can see, our options are:

a) refuse to cut down tree, risk upsetting neighbour
b) agree to have it cut down, if she considers cutting the ridiculously large conifers on her side (we would have an amazing view if they were gone)
c) agree to cut it if she goes half on costs
d) agree to cut it if she pays
e) just cut it, no fuss.

What would you do? Is it worth upsetting her or not?

Thanks :)

I'd tell her that I like it, and that plants are just plants. It can be a tree if it wants to :).

Unless, of course, you really, really, really hate the conifers, in which case I would do a deal (total removal of the conifers in exchange for reduction of the buddleia to shrub size - conifers to go first).

actually you could just cut it well back and smile at her, enjoying her delight that you have complied.

Buddliah grows like a rocket. It will be similar size in 12 months and you will have the benefit of its having thickened out nicely for you, being even more lush and giveing you more flowers.

And repeat yearly

Buddlia are remarkably tolerant to pruning. If it is an old, established plant, you can cut it right back to the main stems and it will grow back to more or less the same size in one year, and will produce just as many flowers. I would leave it another month or so before cutting it back though.

You could agree to cut it back if she cuts back her large conifers, safe in the knowledge it will be back to the same size by next summer!

I'd go for b. Why shouldn't you get something out of the arrangement? Especially a view.

FWIW, I'm pretty sure that a buddleia will sprout again, even if you hack it back to just a stump, and a lot of people prune them hard every year to maintain the shape and a good spread of flowers. Maybe you won't have to get rid of it completely.

The thing is, if you cut it back (not down) towards the end of this month, come the spring you'll have sturdier growth and still get flowers, plus you might have time to give it a trim and get a second flush of flowers from it. Buddleia has the life force but it can't just be left.
I think she just wants you to maintain it.

You are supposed to prune them every year for your own benefit - ie, blooms more at head height and better quality. I cut mine down every year.

But as you've got problems with her conifers, then every time she mentions the buddleia, I'd mention the conifers and perhaps you can work out a deal.

One of my buddleias was knocked down by the wind. I have savagely cut it right down and fully expect it to grow back by next year.

Buddleia are absolutely rampant - you will have to cut it back at some stage otherwise it will take over the whole garden so now is probably a good time. perhaps suggest that you should go halves on the pruning as obviously she will be trimming her trees as well!

I'd go with b) if the conifers are bothering you then you both get something out of the situation. Otherwise if the tree genuinely isn't causing practical problems, you could ask to go into her garden to double check this is the case, go for a).

Buddleia chopped almost to ground level in February will be 12 foot tall by July - and with healthy growth, and lots and lots of blooms. If you didnt want to cut it down so drastically you could prune it back to old wood with new buds every couple of years in late winter/early spring.

Also she has no right to do anything more than politely ask if you would mind pruning it, and equally you can ask her to do the same with the conifers etc if they bother you. Neither of you can do a damn thing if either refuses, except you have the right to prune a neighbours plant back to your own fence, and return the prunings to the neighbour.

Ah, I thought it might grow back... in which case I don't mind so much, but to pay for it.... Any idea how much? It would entail ladder and some kind of winching equipment, had a friend look at it before and he couldn't do it with just ladder.

Keep it.

It will die back in the winter anyway then give you a bit of privacy come the summer.

As you sat it attracts bees and butterflies to the garden which is a good thing.

I wouldn't get into a tit for tat situation re the conifers as you knew they were there when you bought the house.

How about planting some bamboo next to the Buddleia. Thats a tree.

We just do ours with a stepladder and large pruning equipment/saw.

Just how large has the beast got then?

Bloody nora

It must be huge . I cut my 10 - 12 ft ones with a step ladder and a small saw thingy.

I am really sorry but TBH with you I am slightly seeing your neighbours POV. Isn't it a bit sparse and stringy if it is that big? I know you love it but it must be a fricking monster if it needs winching equipment. And don't they get uglier the bigger they get. We have a couple on waste land next to us and they just like fuck ugly trees
Is your loved and beautiful and an exception I feel bad being ruda about your much loved gnormous bush

Bamboo is a grass [pendant]

We leave our buddleia flowerheads as the blue tits eat the seeds, and cut back in January for better flowers in the summer. They grow like stink so you won't feel exposed for long.

Expect to pay around £100/day for a tree surgeon, give or take.

Hmm about 20ft? Not sure really how to guess.

I would go for e). If you prune it back hard at this time of year (take it back to about half of its current size), it will come back stronger than ever next year, probably with even more flowers. I do this to mine every year and they seem to love it. So you've kept her happy, but you'll laughing next year when it comes back in force . It's also an excuse for a bit of a bonfire in the garden if you can get away with it!!

Don't chop it down just prune it properly - that way you get a much more attractive shrub next year and, hopefully, a happy neighbour :)

This is a pretty good 'how to' pruning guide

That is a point about it getting a bit sparse. The reason the books recommend pruning Buddleia hard is because it looks better.

Definitely sounds like you either need to cut it right back, or replace it with a small wildlife - friendly tree like a rowan or silver birch (depending on space).

Might work out cheaper, too.

I massacred pruned my buddleia yesterday. I cut it right down from 8 foot to just 2. It will be huge and taking over the garden again come June.

Oh, it's not stringy and it get loads of flowers. Winching equipment needed because a) it's big and b) neighbour's greenhouse quite close, not directly under but not safe if it falls the wrong way.