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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ashamed of my American accent?

170 replies

DameYankee · 09/09/2010 17:04

It's not so bad living here in Scotland, but when I go down to the inlaw's in Manchester, I feel acutely aware of my horrible American accent. The Scots don't seem to mind so much (I think they assume I'm Canadian?) but the English do. I used to live in Gloucester, and it was pretty apparent that having an American accent really annoys a lot of people because we're so loud. Also, when people hear my accent, they pretty much assume that whatever I'm saying must be ignorant.

I don't blame people for thinking this of Americans, which is why I'm ashamed of it.

I was reminded of this when I just now registered a nickname to post. For some reason, I picked "DameYankee" and then, after it was too late, I thought of why that may have been a mistake. "You had the chance, so long as you remembered to spell words correctly, to not come across as an American, and instead you went and announced yourself as one!"

I've also thought of trying to change my accent. I have a stubborn midwest/Southern accent, and haven't picked up anything of the Scottish accent after years of living here. I don't know if one goes to an acting coach for that sort of thing, or what.

Anyway, am I being unreasonable, or do you think there could be wisdom in trying to blend in a bit better?

OP posts:
ByTheSea · 09/09/2010 17:36

I'm also an American in the UK - I've been here for 13 of my 46 years. My DC sound nothing like me, but then again, they sound nothing like DH who is from a completely different region in the UK to where we now live. I only ever get complimented on my accent, although I certainly felt more self-conscious about it during the Bush years and often thought about lying about being Canadian then. Blush

I hold my knife and fork correctly in my right and left hand respectively but also don't like to smoosh together all the food on the back of the fork as seems to the norm here.

Bunbaker · 09/09/2010 17:37

I love American accents, they always sound so friendly to me. I also love regional accents. It would be boring if we all sounded the same.

I'm from Surrey, OH is a Geordie and we live in South Yorkshire where DD was born, so we have three different accents in our house.

Be proud of your roots. Don't try and change to please a few ignorant individuals.

And if you think you are too loud, that is easy to remedy.

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:37

I don't know what a midwest/southern accent sounds like. Would have thought those were two totally different accents!

Don't be a numpty now and cave in to what you think a bunch of weirdos might be thinking. People don't equate American accents with ignorance unless they are spectacularly ignorant themselves.

British also don't tend to try and blend in a bit better when we move around the UK and try and speak like a Mancurian when we're in Manchester etc. There are so many different accents,you could spend your whole live trying to acquire them and fit in all over the country. People make fun of every different kind of accent in the UK and not just foreign ones. If you are from the South and you go to California, do you try and change how you speak to be less obvious?

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/09/2010 17:37

"my horrible American accent" - why do you think it's horrible, Dame? (it almost certainly isn't BTW)

colditz · 09/09/2010 17:37

On the knife and fork think....

Fork always in left hand, it's a spear and not a shovel.

Knife if for sawing, not ripping, and is always in the right hand.

Anyone rude enough to comment on your knife/fork proficiency has immediately earned themselves the title of "Rudest person at the table" so please don't worry.

nickelbabe · 09/09/2010 17:39

colditz - the AMerican way is to hold the fork and knife as we would, but only to cut up their food.
then they get rid of the knife and eat with the fork only in their right hand (or dominant hand)

TheMoonOnAStick · 09/09/2010 17:39

I like American accents. Don't at all be ashamed of it!Sad It's lovely and who you are and would make me curious to know where you are from etcSmile

It jars on me to hear anyone talking loudly but I can't say I associate that with Americans. Plenty of English people do that.

Tee2072 · 09/09/2010 17:39

Dame, I actually was already using my knife and fork the English way, so that's not an issue for me. I think I was about 16 when I first saw someone do it that way and it just made sense to me!

I have been in Belfast for 7 years and do have a bit of a lilt on some words, but mostly? I do and always will sound American.

Just like my Scottish in-laws, who have been in Northern Ireland for 40 years, do and always will sound Scottish.

MrsMadWriggle · 09/09/2010 17:40

So which American sleb do you most sound like? I'm imagining Dolly Parton or Scarlett O'Hara?

QueenofDreams · 09/09/2010 17:41

I also hate my accent (I'm not American though) I can guarantee my accent is worse than yours though! It's toned down over the years but never completely disappeared. Nowadays I sound like I'm from New Zealand (I'm not) and I hate the way my voice sounds when I hear it recorded. I'm not self-conscious about it generally though. I might not like it but there's not a great deal I can do about it either.

colditz I physically cannot use my knife in my right hand. DP is the same. We both switch our cutlery over when we eat in a restaurant.

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:42

"Knife if for sawing, not ripping" lol at the ripping.
My dd eats American style without ever been taught to do that or had it demonstrated to her.

You must practice balancing peas on the back of your fork though. It's very nifty and they will watch you with fascination when you go home

TheCrackFox · 09/09/2010 17:43

I love American accents. FWIW I can't imagine that your DCs will be bullied for it as the vast majority of children think that everything cool comes form America.

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:44

dunno about that. Thought that too at first about the coolness factor but then you ahve to balance it against the being different thing.

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:45

how grim can this accent be though? What is mid-west/southern? Is it slow, long vowels, bit y'all ....

Psammead · 09/09/2010 17:46

Love midwest acents. Never met an American I didn't like - be proud of who you are. America has wonderful aspects as well as bad ones. Most intelligent Brits know this, the ones who don't are as bad as the dumb Americans!

Psammead · 09/09/2010 17:46

accents, even...

nickelbabe · 09/09/2010 17:47

i'm left-handed and use my knife to hold the food while i rip with my fork!
(i do try!)
but i was never taught how to hold my cutlery, so i do use my fork as a shovel - can't cope with daintily prodding all the food onto the back of the fork.

gorionine · 09/09/2010 17:51

""I actually worry that my kids will be bullied for having a foreign mum, even if they speak correctly.""

Do not worry so much, my DCs both parents are foreign (and not even as "cool" as America) and they have never been bullied for it.

your children will sound local in no time anyway, without having to make any effortSmile

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:51

why don't you put knife and fork the other way round nickel? I mean knife in your left hand?

Wanderingsheep · 09/09/2010 17:53

Noooo! Don't you dare be ashamed of your accent and definitely don't change it.

I used to work with an American woman, I could listen to her forever.

She was from Massecheussetts (no bloody clue how you spell it!) but she'd been here years. She sounded very American to me but according to her family she sounded quite British! Lol

diddl · 09/09/2010 17:56

Oh I´m British & have been know to put knife down & switch hands.

My family haven´t disowned meGrin

ZZZenAgain · 09/09/2010 17:58

problem with that is how do you get your peas on the back of the fork?

Anything else about eating etiquette that Americans tackle differently?

Morloth · 09/09/2010 17:59

I am often referred to as "That loud Australian woman", it is true I am both loud and Australian. Anyone who has a problem with these things can fuck the fuck off.

DS1 sounds like a goddamned toff, which is why I am keen to move home.

Tee2072 · 09/09/2010 18:00

I will say that it is sometimes hard being an American on MN. So many things are deemed 'Oh that's so American' in a degrading way, i.e. baby showers. Or words that have come across the pond.

Hard to believe people like you (or your country) when they seem to put down everything that is 'American'.

Morloth · 09/09/2010 18:02

Sorry about that I meant to add that you shouldn't be worried about this and should just be who you are.

I like to make things about me. Grin