I need reminding of all the reasons I had a baby...positives! Feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

[Floois]

My baby girl is 2 weeks old today and it's my second day on my own with her. I'm coping fine with looking after her, feeding etc. Would love to sleep more than 2 hours at a time but other then that, can't complain. I just can't help being overwhelmed with a feeling of "oh my god, what have we done?!"
I could really do with being reminded of the lovely positive things about having a baby/child so I can have something to look forward to instead of being petrified she is going to get colic or just start screaming all day and I'll never be able to leave the house or be on my own again!
Sorry, probably sounds a bit moany and I should be grateful for having a lovely, healthy baby....but feeling a bit down.
Thankyou

We've all been there! It gets a lot less overwhelming. It's an amazing thing to see this little person develop and becoming herself.

Totally normal for your feelings to go all over the place. Babies are demanding like you would never believe and feeling overwhelmed is very reasonable response. REmember tiredness causes your brain to do all kinds of crazy things, sleep deprivation really is torture. You might try and take please in the simplest of things, just caressing her toes, having a bath together, anything that makes you feel good and prevents your mind running away with the negative scenarios. Your mind can only think one thought at a time, choose good ones. If anyone is around to cook for you, make you a cuppa or let you have a long bath just ask them.
Oh and babies get more and more rewarding as they develop and interact more. Good luck and go easy on yourself.

Thanks, I keep trying to think about that. Just can't stop crying today, maybe I'm just tired.

I remember that feeling well Floois. Day three at home was when it hit me i would never be worry free again, and if anything happened to ds i would need to kill myself! Mum says it was the baby blues, i disagree. It was the reality of what a baby meant hitting me.

But, after i managed to venture out to the park, and the world didnt end when he screamed for an hour solid, i learned to let go a little. It really does get easier. I used to moan that nobody tells you the harsh reality of motherhood, but the truth is, they also cant describe the utter joy and love they bring either.

You will get there, she is a gift.

The newborn bit is hard, as is the toddler bit, but having children is the most wonderful and fulfilling thing I have ever done. Mine are 12 and 9 and I love how their personalities develop and they change. You have all that to come, and I am so envious of anyone who has a new baby at the moment.

I am going to become one of those old women who come up to you when you are out with your baby and say 'don't wish it away.'

The years go by really fast and before you know it that little baby will be grown up and walking out of the door.

They are painfully cute and have amazing toes.

They smell good (most of the time)

they like being cuddled

They won't ever tell you that you're talking shit

They don't judge you

Oh and i remember crying that i couldnt get a bath, get dressed, or even poo in peace, how was i meant to get to work. Dad said you will do it, mums are amazing, they find a way.

That made me cry, it was such a loving thing to say, it made me realise how much my dad thought of his mum, and it seemed worthwhile.

I've just dropped my 3 year old at pre-school and as I watched him hanging up his jacket and sticking his name card up on the board and telling one of the staff about the dinosaur he had brought with him I felt SO in love with him, he is just brilliant. Re-wind back to the first few MONTHS after he was born and it was very different! I had PND and bitterly regretted having a baby, I had totally lost sight of why we had had another baby, resented him taking up my time when I wanted to spend it with DS1 and basically felt deeply miserable that there was this baby in the house that had disrupted all of our peace and happiness (as that's how I perceived it then!). I'm not sure that I loved him or bonded with him in reality for most of the first 3 months at all. I felt totally overwhelmed by having to look after him when life had got so much better with my (then) 2.5 year old, everything had got easier and suddenly I was back to square 1 with sleep deprivation and the monotony of looking after a small baby. I totally understand how you feel, but without wanting to sound trite, it will pass, it will feel like a lifetime while you're going through it but soon you will look back on this time and it will seem like lightyears past. Your life has been turned upside down by the arrival of someone else into your life, but soon that baby will feel just as much like a part of the "team" as your husband/partner! It will get easier, things will change with every passing week, you will get more sleep gradually and everything taht seems so new and so difficult now will become second nature really soon. I don't think I would have got through the early weeks/months of my second baby without the support of friends, I made myself get out and about to coffee mornings and invited friends over just to give my day some structure and purpose, a reason to get up and have a shower and get the baby out of its sleep-suita nd into some of the many clothes we had! It helped immensely. I really hope these difficult times pass quickly for you, because before you know it you will look at her as she hangs her coat up at nursery and you will miss her before you even get back home! x

Only about 4 weeks to go until you get the first gummy smile and things always look better after a good night's sleep...

I remember when DS1 was a few weeks old I would look at other random mums passing by and think 'OMG...how do you DO it? You must be possessed of superhuman powers'. I was in awe of anyone with children and felt completely overwhelmed and scared. Pretty much everyone feels the way you do at some stage. Have you got an NCT group or a postnatal group. Excellent source of support, sympathising, grumbling mixed in with tea and biscuits. And get thee out and about in the pushchair or to the shops (even if you don't need anything in particular, and its only to the corner shop). All help with the overwhelming feelings.....

Lovely positive things....too many...

First smile
Looking at them asleep at night (or naps), espec when they have their arms above their heads
Going out in the car or somewhere and suddenly realising you're a family
When they cry and stop crying for you cos only mummy will do
Comments from passers-by about how gorgeous your baby is (as all babies are, even those that look like Winston Churchill!)
First giggles

Mine are 2 and 5....both a fantastic age. So interactive and fun. My 5yo told me in a very serious voice that 'when I grow up I need a wife' and that he was going to marry me or my best friend. So cute!

Oh and sleep deprivation (2h slots of sleeping...yikes!) really, really messes with your head and emotions. I know everyone says it (and I never listened) but if you can try and nap when the baby naps, even if its only for one slot. I didn't do it cos I felt that was my only time of normality but I think I would've felt more 'normal' the rest of the time if I'd taken more opportunities to nap during the day.

Perfectly normal to feel like this. I honestly think, that when you have your first baby, you almost have to grieve your old life. I think this is healthy and should not be seen as a negative.

It's ok to love your baby more than life itself but also wish for you old one back at times

As others have said, when you find your feet a little more and feel more relaxed you won't be able to remember what life was like before your DD was born

Try and rest as much as you can and long walks really helped me. 2 weeks was when I was in floods of tears feeling very blue. It passed in a few days. My DD2 is 10 weeks now and this time has been so different, I have been on cloud nine every day. I truly think it's the shock of the first baby.

when I go to pick my 2 DDs up from nursery (3.5 and 1) the older one shouts mummy mummy mummy and runs towards me and the little one squawks and jumps up and down till I pick her up and give her a kiss....

DD1 is 9 and we waited for 6 years for DD2 to come along, and by that time we'd kind of got used to it being just the three of us.

She's now 8 months old, and when I was pregnant and after she was born I can remember feeling a bit 'Oh shit what have we done' Can I cope with having a baby again? What does this mean to our normal life?

At the start I was very hormonal still, and all the things you've got to keep an eye on with a baby did seem a little overwhelming to start with, but it doesn't take long for that routine to become normal.

Just for her to look at me and be comforted, or see her with DD1 and DH, and see her chomping on a breadstick is worth any of the 'jobs' I do to look after her.

It's not easy, but try to broaden the timeframe you're looking from, the cliches about the different stages passing quickly is true, even though when you're in them it feels like you're in treacle.

Oh and congratulations

I just melt for the smile DS2 (4 months) when I fetch him from his cot when he wakes up in the morning. And the way he laughs when I bounce his tummy up and down on the top of my head - sounds a bit weird in writing but trust me he loves it!

Nothing better than hearing DS1 (2.9) saying "I love you Mummy, sleep well" when I tuck him up at night.

Yes, totally agree with Gibbon. ITs like grieving for your old life. I felt lost, felt that i hadnt meant to lose the old me, and was really shocked and upset. Then when ds was a month old, i went out with the girls for a few drinks and realised, yes, i can still go out, can still see the girls, but its even better than before, because i get to go home to dh and ds.

I hardly ever want to leave the house now, all i need is right here. But getting out and about is important for you right now. Just to the corner shop will do.

Tired and at the mercy of those hormones, they're a bugger! Am nursing dc3 and so far this week have had 4 hours sleep x 3.

But especially with your first when everything is new and you don't know when the turn the corner moment will come it is hard and perfectly normal and expected to have a wobble or a series of them! When her stomach gets bigger she'll sleep for longer, you'll be more rested and hormones will settle down.

Things to look forward and enjoy:
bathing together...or when dh does they will inevitably poo
first smile
their smell & being so curled up and snuggly
skin-to-skin napping in bed
just being so proud and thrilled by every new thing they do
Planning things non-baby related e.g. a holiday, house changes, meal out etc as a reminder that it's not all nappies and wind, you do exist again as you again.

That first laugh!! Amazing. Still can't get enough of the giggles.
Six months in things are so different and I know it seems like a million miles away but it isn't. I already wish I could go back to the first 2 months and be a lot less stressed about it all. They do sleep! They do begin to interact! They get hair!
Watching them develop is amazing, smiles, laughs, rolling over, sitting up, eating from a spoon. Amazing things to watch and so exciting when they do it all for the first time. You have so much to come, just breathe and relax, be kind to yourself.
Do get out - find out where the Mother and Baby clubs are near you and try to get to one as early as you feel physically capable of it.

Wonderful things- when they laugh when you blow raspberries on their bellies, when they laugh when you make funny faces, when they smile in their sleep, when they learn to wave, when they finally sleep through the night, and when they grow up a wee bit and tell you that they love you and you're the best Mummy in the World.

I found the first weeks and months utterly suffocating. I was anxious, scared, lonely, tearful, sad and very, very concerned we'd done a terrible thing. I was so scared that something would be wrong with her and I'd miss it. How could anybody expect me to be responsible for a whole vulnerable life? And why was it so hard just to get her and me dressed and out of the house before midday? All that while at the same time loving dd with such intensity that I felt like something physical would swell up inside me every time I looked at her.

Well, she's 3.4 now and it has gone so quickly. I know it's such a worn old cliché but it's just flown by. I know now how resilient she was and is. That she just needed me to do what I could and to love and care for her in the way I did. I just couldn't see it at the time.

She's running the length of the room atm in patchwork dungarees, pushing a cardboard box (a toy train actually according to her) up and down and singing Hush Little Baby. Every now and then she pauses to look at me and grin. At night she pushes our noses together and tells me she loves me all round the world and back. She meets dh home from work with such joyful abandon that I feel teary every single time. When she grows up all she wants is to be me as she can't think of anything better. She goes to pre-school soon and my heart is already aching with sadness and happiness that she's growing up so fast.

It's so worth it. Get all the help and sleep you can. You're going to be just fine.

Floois, are there specific things on your mind? Feel free to chat/ moan/ have a hysterical giggle, it's what we're here for and will understand where you're coming from.

SOH, that's beautifully written

. Tiredness and hormones are a horrible mix. You will feel differently soon - the most important thing that I have learnt in 9 years of parenting and 3 children is that 'everything is just a stage'. If you feel like this for more than a day or two, please speak to your health visitor though as post natal depression is so common but nothing to be ashamed of.

Floois

Very normal feeling - it's esp hard when your OH goes back to work, the novelty is starting to wear off, most of the cards/gifts have been delivered, the adrenaline of the birth is over. And its bloody hard. My DD wouldn't be put down at ALL until she was at least 7 weeks old! She was on me permanently in a sling, I thought I was going bonkers!

Don't worry.

Babies get easier and more rewarding as they grow up. At the moment you won't be able to conceive that your DD will ever be anything other than a totally helpless squalling little creature. But:

• in about 2/3 weeks she may well give you her first smile!

• in about 4 weeks she will notice you coming in and out of the room.

• and you will be able to make her smile!

• in about 5 or 6 weeks she will start noticing rattles and toys.

• And in a couple of months you will feel a bit less out of control routine wise. She won't have a routine, but you may have roughly about the same time between feeds, and some pattern to them.

In Four months, she will giggle, roll over, rattle things.

In 6 months you'll be dead proud as she grasps as bit of broccoli/rusks and shoves it in her mouth. She will be on the way to sitting up on her own. It's really not that long away, even though it seems it.

Then there is crawling, and then walking! And all the talking, giggling, singing, cuddles and kisses.

My DD (15 mths) is the light of my life! Sometimes she sleeps in my bed if DH is away, and I wake up to her sitting above my head blowing me little kisses! I watch her toddling around and feel so proud. Plus she has started "helping" in the kitchen - wping up the floor after she has sprayed yoghurt everywhere!

It gets easier, honest! In the meantime, I think the key is to try and get out each day, perhaps with NCT class friends or something? Suss out the good places in towns for babies (John Lewis in Cambridge was a godsend for me with its breastfeeding room!).

I've just spent 10 mins on the phone talking to 4.5 DS who is at home having a special day with dad before he starts school tomorrow. He was telling me how busy they've been doing work as they've been to buy a tank for his new goldfish (which he's getting tomorrow) and getting it ready for them. Apparently he's getting a boy called Spotty and a girl called Goldie. He then stopped to ask me 'How has your day been mummy?'

Tomorrow I'll help him dress in his new uniform and will most likely cry buckets for the baby he no longer is and how proud I am of my big boy.

I've never stopped being fearful something bad will happen, sometimes I'm overwhelmed with tiredness, sometimes I'm angry and grumpy but I wouldn't change an instant. The kisses and cuddles, the silly songs and games, the imaginative stories, every little milestone and achievement makes it all worth while.

Somone told me it gets easier at 6 weeks and I didn't believe them but it did and it will. Good luck.