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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be totally fed up with being called a liar, albeit indirectly?

59 replies

Serendippy · 06/09/2010 22:52

The amount of times I have heard 'Anyone who says that their child sleeps 12 hours a night is a liar' is really starting to get on my nerves...

My 10mo DOES sleep 12 hours a night. She also eats most foods, mostly plays well with other children and is generally quite happy. I know other people who have babies who sleep 12 hours. It can happen. I do not claim that this is due to any brilliant parenting, some of us are just lucky. We are not, however, liars!

Nothing wrong with praying for a bit of luck, or for appreciating it while it lasts. She will probably be the world's worst teenager.

Disclaimer: Do not brag about the sleep, but do tell people if they ask. Sorry if you are a sleep deprived mum reading this, your child might be an easy toddler...

OP posts:

elportodelgato · 07/09/2010 14:13

My DD sleeps 12 hours a night and has done since she was about 8mo, it's absolutely wonderful . I know we are lucky but we also worked damn hard to establish a bedtime routine and we bloody kept to it, even when our friends were still taking their under-one-year-olds to parties in the evenings and everyone thought we were square for needing to get home for bedtime. It's worth it to now get an evening with my DH, be able to get things done, know that I can go to bed myself and she's not going to get me up at 3am etc etc.

TBH I have got a bit sick of people with non-sleeping babies saying 'Oh it's a sign of intelligence you know' Errmm, no, I did not know that. Does that mean that my DD is very stupid? Actually, I think a good indication of intelligence would be the ability to distinguish daytime from nighttime and understand when it is time for bed.

I am pg with number 2 at the moment and you can bet that all my friends with non-sleeping toddlers are praying that I get a non-sleeper this time around...

OneTwoBuckleMyShoe · 07/09/2010 17:25

I was the subject of much muttering and hatred when DD started sleeping through at 8 weeks (BF as well just to up the sheer loathing).

The glee from people when she got a horrendous cold which buggered up her sleeping until last month could have been measured on the Richter scale!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/09/2010 17:30

Oh yes.

My first woke every 2 hours for 15 months. I want to crawl into bed just remembering it

My second slept through from the day he was born. Never known a baby love bed so much.

The first night home, he slept all night, from about 7pm until my husband woke him in a panic because he feared he was "too weak from lack of milk to be able to wake up"

In our defence, our previous experience had been every 2 hours, every. single. night.

lal123 · 07/09/2010 17:31

DD2 (11 months) sleeps for about 11 hours a night - she's only been doing it for a couple of weeks though. NOn-sleeping babies a sign of intelligence? That's a new one to me!

DD1 sleeps well at nights - but is up at 6ish every morning - including weekends and likes to make sure we're all up too.

SpawnChorus · 07/09/2010 17:50

at every variety of competitive parenting on this thread.

snigger · 07/09/2010 17:52

The first night DD1 slept through, it was because her eyelids were gummed shut with infected goo.

I win.

sapphireblue · 07/09/2010 17:54

but surely you started this thread just to brag

tiredlady · 07/09/2010 17:59

I have no problem in acceptin that you child sleeps through the night at 10mo, however I am a bit at youre claim that your dd "plays well with other children"
At 10mo? Really?

tiredlady · 07/09/2010 18:00

accepting not acceptin
your not you

Original poster

Serendippy · 07/09/2010 20:25

'Plays well with other children' = misleading. She does not yet play Monopoly or Scrabble or team contact sports very well. What I meant was she can interact with other children without crying/hitting. Not all the time, but mostly. As in she likes the company of other children.

Sorry to imply that she is some kind of budding chess champion

OP posts:

mumbar · 07/09/2010 20:31

YADNBU. Someone asked me once what DS sleep patterns were his first few months and how much he slept a night. So I told them.

Got the reply - that can't be true you've just blocked out all the difficulties as its OK now WTF

DS has always been a good sleeper there are other things he's not good at but I agree don't ask the question if theres
's any change you won't like the answer

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/09/2010 20:34

DS slept through from an early age, we were lucky. We were able to easily establish a routine with him.

DD still has a few wakings in the night and I also still do a top up feed. It's been harder this time round establishing the same routine but fingers crossed she'll pick it up soon.

I dont remember DS playing with other children at that age though, he usually did the playing alongside them until he got older and then the arguements started!

mumbar · 07/09/2010 20:35

if there's any chance rather

vbusymum1 · 07/09/2010 20:43

I've been posting on the thread about watching TV and it seems that people don't believe you if you tell them that your preschooler doesn't watch TV either.

This is all news to me, I think I must have been too honest all these years and have worked on the basis that what other people say is true as well.

YANBU - my toddler sleeps for 12 hours plus 2 at lunchtime, my older DCs don't but they have to get up for school. It was my choice to be firm with bedtime routine and it works for my family. If their school work starts to slip I will be sure to start waking them several times during the night.

traceybath · 07/09/2010 20:47

LOL at this thread.

It is largely down to luck in my opinion. I have 3 dc's and third one has been my worst sleeper and you know - I sort of knew how to do a bedtime routine by the third time

She however had different ideas

I don't actually care if other children sleep well - I wouldn't call you a liar but may wonder at someone who told me how well their child slept whilst I was muttering about sleep deprivation.

Original poster

Serendippy · 07/09/2010 20:56

Please read my disclaimer in the OP. Would have to be a cold-hearted bitch to announce the sleep patterns of my child to a weeping sleep-deprived mother. So would not.

I only object when people ask, I answer then they tell me I am lying. DON'T ASK THEN!

Actually, maybe I will start answering that she hasn't slept a full night since birth, could make me far more popular.

Don't ask about houses other people live in if you don't want to hear that they have a nicer one than you. Don't ask about people's jobs in case they have the dream job you have been after for the past 3 years. Don't ask what other children eat in case they eat 3 healthy meals a day, plus healthy snacks and have never tasted junk food. JUST DON'T ASK if you don't want the answer.

Or just ask parents who look weepy and sleep deprived as they are more likely to give you the answer you seek and reassure you that this is perfectly normal

OP posts:

traceybath · 07/09/2010 21:04

I guess I just don't ask people about sleep and don't really get asked about sleep patterns either.

The whole routine/sleep-training/cc/bf/co-sleeping subject is to be avoided I have learnt since joining mn

Also - I do think that women/new mothers bond over the hideousness of sleep-deprivation.

Odd for so many people to call you a liar though - do they really do that to your face? Or is it more of a general comment?

traceybath · 07/09/2010 21:05

Oh hang on you said indirectly so presumably they weren't saying 'oi serendippy - you are a big fibber'

Original poster

Serendippy · 07/09/2010 21:13

No, don't get called a big fibber to my face, more people making comments like 'It's easy to only remember the good times when you look back, you have forgotten how hard it was', have however had people tell me that NO baby sleeps for 12 hours a night. Me: Mine does
People: Not every night.
Me: Yes, every night bar a couple a month.
People: But she must wake and cry a little, even if she then goes back to sleep.
Me: No.
People: Oh, right then (turn away muttering under their breath about people who can't admit that life with a baby ALWAYS includes broken nights sleep, mumble mumble mumble)

Vbusymum1- I believe your children don't watch tv. Mine will as I love it. Then people can happily judge away. That should make them happier.

OP posts:

traceybath · 07/09/2010 21:17

Oh people love to judge and comment

I hide the fact I still bf DD who is nearly 14 months from the majority of people because I don't want any comments/judgement.

DS1 did sleep for 12 hours - once and he's 6 now

Luckily he can now go downstairs and put the tv on by himself

Giddyup · 07/09/2010 21:27

YANBU I never knew about non sleeping babies until I joined this forum. I don't mean newborns but over about 6 months. The stories on here have been a terrible revelation to me, I am scared about the arrival of DC2.

Every child I know in real life, bar one sleeps for around 12 hours from 6 months ish, and even in that case there are reasons why she doesn't.

I think it must be the sea air or people do lie! DS's sleeping from 6 months was legendary, had to be seen to be believed 12-13 hours at night, an hr before lunch and 2 hrs in the afternoon. his finest hour was the 14hour sleep that made me 2 hours late for work.

But, after reading the hellish stories on here I am convinced that to even up this one will never, ever sleep

vbusymum1 · 07/09/2010 21:29

Serendippy - yes, maybe the bast route is just to tell people what they want to hear. When your children get to school lie about how well they are doing, whether they can read, how many GCSEs they passed.

Oh and my school age DCs watch TV, its just my toddler who doesn't but when he's 6 or 7 he probably will.

AnxiousLand · 07/09/2010 21:34

Unless one is being smug or spiteful. It is just a FACT!!!

Why do and how can they be soo jealous of something that is natural to ababy?

I wouldn't feel guilty their nasty reaction would make me glad they were going through a rough time.
Some people are sooo jealous of everything

Inadequtes

My child is totally blind

AM I JEAOUS BECAUSE THEIR BABY ISNT?

hell and that;s what it is basically

AnxiousLand · 07/09/2010 21:35

keyboard probs

Oblomov · 07/09/2010 21:44

No, not just to brag. it really gets on my nerves aswell. 'all people who say this are liars'. have seen it many many times on threads. NO I DIDN'T LIE. IT WAS THE TRUTH. thank you VERY MUCH.
ds1 slept through early. ds2 was a horrific sleeper. so there you go.

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