DS first day at nursery and they're shortening his name...

[StrikeUpTheBand]

AIBU to correct them?

DS is 3.5 and has a name that can be (and is often) shortened. Let's just pretend for a minute that it's Christopher (obviously it is something else but to protect identities).

Anyway, DS starting day nursery today. Have rreiterated to everyone beforehand that we prefer he not be called Chris but to use his full name of Christopher and in writing (there was a sheet to fill in called "Helping your child settle in nursery" which asked this.

DP walks in with DS this morning to find he's repeatedly being called Chris "Hi Chris let me help you find your name oh here it is C-H-R-I-S. Good boy Chris!" DP didn't want to be rude but called DS pointedly Christopher. They still continue. Name on Register is "Chris Bloggs"

AIBU to have phoned them and explained that his name is ChrisTOPHER not Chris and to request that they use the name we wanted him to have? I was polite about it and explained that I didn't want it to have stuck. DS gets upset about it but won't tell people at the time, he just comes home and tells us. I don't want him to be upset on his first day by something so avoidable.

Was I wrong? They are going to get off the phone and think I am too precious aren't they?!

"and ever after he was called Ben-JA-MEEEEEN with enormous stress on the ending - in revenge for what was seen as criticism."

how awful, what a terribke thing for these paid nursery professionals to do!

I have the odd person who calls me by the short version of my name, it always seems really odd, as I haven't been called that since I was 14. When I decided I preferred the long version.

Now anyone who knew me before 14 and calls me the short version is fine (although most family never do). But people I have met since then are

Since your DS does not like to be called "Chris" then YANBU.

My DD sometimes had her name shortened to Katy (which in my DH's hometown was pronounced Kaadi, which I hated). I told her cousins and SIL that her name was Catriona and if they want to shorten it then she preferred Cat. Still does.

YANBU but it's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, could be alot worse than being known as a short version of a name . Few Christophers are still Christopher at school age. Not sure there is much you can do really once you have told them.

Trust me, with two sons at primary school called Atticus and Algernon, I know exactly where you're coming from. Atticus suddenly becomes "Atty" or "At", and Algernon becomes "Al" or "Algy". Lord knows what's going to happen when DS3 (Cuthbert) joins them. I've found the best tactic is to take the teacher aside after class and make it clear that you'd like them to use the full name in future, or you'll be speaking to the head teacher. They usually get freaked out and start making the effort after that.

Yes Dueling F I remember his puzzled little face.
But when staff are paid the minimum wage you tend to not get the best people....
but that's another thread.

thank god im not the only one who hates it when people call my child by a shortened name!!

my DD's name is Lily-Rose. Not Lily. Lily-Rose. Some people im a subtle about it when they call her lily, like id say come here lily-rose. my best friend, and her fairy godmother, calls her lily all the time and i could kill him for it and i keep saying its lily-ROSE!! i think he does it to wind me up mostly.

yes, Lord knows what will happen when Cuthbert starts school and the teachers call him Bert thus saving him from endless bullying about his ridiculous name

I don't think you are being unreasonable to correct the nursery. You have chosen his name, requested that he is referred to by his full name, and the nursery should respect that.

I agree, however, that this may well change as he gets older and has a greater say in the name (shortened/full/nickname) that he uses.
One of my best friends is a Rebecca, and was known by her full name until we were around 7 or 8 when she decided that she wanted to be known as Becky, and a few years later she changed the spelling to Becki.
Her mother has always disliked it though, so she is still called Rebecca at home. I even call her Rebecca when I'm around her mum as when we were little I was scared her mum would disapprove of me calling her by a shortened name!

Correct people now, just be aware that you may have to be a bit more flexible as he gets older!

just saying that if you call your children Atticus, Algernon, and Cuthbert then having their names shortened is the least of their worries

"I remember a mum asking nursery not to call her child Ben but to use his full name, and ever after he was called Ben-JA-MEEEEEN with enormous stress on the ending - in revenge for what was seen as criticism.
Sadly what another poster said about the attention lottery of nursery is very true."

How bloody rude of them - and mean, and immature - to be taking it out on the child!! Why shouldn't the parents ask for a young child to be known as Benjamin rather than Ben? Would it be seen any differently if the child was being called 'Jamin' by the nursery instead of Benjamin? Or if they'd decided to call an adult by the short version of their name without asking them?

I'm a reception teacher myself. I wouldn't dream of shortening a child's name on their first day when I'd been told they are used to being called the lengthened version. I definitely wouldn't put it on their name card and everything else. I don't think DS would be being hypersensitive if he found that a bit off-putting. He is never, ever known as the short version of his name. It wouldn't particularly upset him if someone used the short version on a normal day, but I was worried if it was his first day somewhere it may not sit very well and may feel unfamiliar. He does correct people himself, but why should he have to at age 3?

I am not worried about the nursery tbh - they seem lovely and generally very on the ball and he has had a great time. When I went to pick him up they did have the short verson on the register but said they were going to change it for tomorrow.

To those who ask why it was necessary to make a phone call - only reason I didn't wait until home time was because I know full well that after a morning of calling him something else it will be very hard to undo (not to mention subtly annoying my ds on his first day when they are meant to be trying to make him feel comfortable). That was the only reason I felt the need to call when DP texted to express his annoyance at their repeated use of the short name despite his strong hints.