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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

letting my children run around naked on a beach

167 replies

Goofymum · 05/09/2010 23:12

A few days ago I took my 2 year old DD and 5 year old DD to the beach. It is a lovely beach and not very crowded, only 2 or 3 groups of people per large section of beach. I let my DDs run around naked for while before we went home (they asked to go naked). My parents were with me and they weren't bothered. The few families left on the beach weren't bothered either. But when my DH heard about it he was horrified. He said my 5 year old (she is very tall, perhaps passes for 6?) is too old to run around naked, other people would feel uncomfortable and it's just not right. We 'debated' it for a while and I thought I'd get the opinion of sensible people on MN - did I have a big lapse in judgement or was it OK to let my DDs run around naked?!

OP posts:
amberleaf · 08/09/2010 23:30

LadyBiscuit

Im not saying its ok for paedophiles to look at my children clothed, id rather they didnt look at them at all but as they dont go around with 'nonce' stamped across their heads you cant tell whos innocent and whos not.

I am not sexualising my children.

I am protecting them-you may not feel that the threat from paedophiles is big enough to worry about i do.

Oh and yes i am aware that most abuse is by people known to the child or childs family.
I also know of a fair amount of 'one offs' by strangers.

Heracles · 09/09/2010 01:53

I can only ask again: how is someone looking at someone else doing harm? That's not "protection", that's passing the paranoia down another generation.

Think back to the (as ever, very rare) stranger-snatch paedophile cases you hear of. How many involved already naked children?

amberleaf · 09/09/2010 03:11

So Heracles would you be ok with some perv sitting on a seaside bench with his hands down his trousers, coat on lap wanking off while watching your naked child play?

That is an extreme example but it happens.

Id rather not facilitate that. My children will not be naked in public.

Heracles · 09/09/2010 03:41

"So Heracles would you be ok with some perv sitting on a seaside bench with his hands down his trousers, coat on lap wanking off while watching your naked child play?"

Ha ha ha! That reads like a Daily Mail opening paragraph. If people/animals aren't being harmed in any way I couldn't give two shits why a man whacks himself off. If it was in my view I'd ask him to take it elsewhere, just as I would if he was getting aroused by the clouds or seagulls or caravans or a picture existing only in his mind.

"That is an extreme example but it happens."

Does it? Where? I've never come across it (excuse the etc) and I'm a keen student of human depravity.

sharbie · 09/09/2010 08:13

well lucky you heracles - and can you really not see the connection

ifancyashandy · 09/09/2010 08:41

But said man could be sitting there wanking at 'your' child in a swimsuit surely? Don't see how nudity does or doesn't facilitate the depraved.

amberleaf · 09/09/2010 09:26

You are lucky then Heracles aren't you.

formerdiva · 09/09/2010 10:35

The peado thinking pervy thoughts about your child isn't directly affecting your child's life at all. However, covering your children up from an early age and teaching them that genitals are "private" IS affecting them. No matter how good the parents intentions, it's helping to sexualise the child from a premature age by raising adult concerns about genitalia.

We're all parents, we all hate peadophiles, that's a given. But I think I'm doing the best for my child by protecting her for as long as possible from the feeling of shame that women are taught to have about their bodies.

choufleur · 09/09/2010 10:42

FGS if you can't run around naked when you're a small child then it's a sad thing.

Children soon enough start to become self conscious and wouldn't want to run around with no clothes on - let them enjoy it while they can (it's not at all sexual it freedom).

Children shouldn't be stopped enjoying themselves in a safe environment because of the minuscule chance that a paedophile is watching.

And if you do see someone having a surreptitious wank while watching your children feel free to shout and point at them and the local vigilantes can come and hung, draw and quarter them! Although I've never spotted anyone doing that on any beaches I've been on.

2old4thislark · 09/09/2010 10:44

The shops sell swimming costumes for children for a reason - most parents find them a necessity rather than optional.

choufleur · 09/09/2010 10:46

Yes if you go to a swimming pool they have to wear a swimming costume/trunk, but they don't on a beach.

Nefret · 09/09/2010 10:50

I would have no problem with my children having a run round naked on the beach, my girls both did it when we were on holiday this year as they had managed to get sand in their costumes so they had a run and a splash in the sea to rinse the sand off. neither me nor my husband thought they shouldn't do it and no-one else took any notice. They are only little and they love it so let them run.

choufleur · 09/09/2010 10:56

This thread reminds me of the Brass Eye Paedophile episode

ChippingIn · 09/09/2010 11:07

2oldforthislark Yes they do!! You are right!!

It's called for profit - if you follow your reasoning then nipple clamps are a necessity too!

LadyBiscuit · 09/09/2010 11:21

:o ChippingIn

choufleur - yes, it reminds me of that too

telsa · 09/09/2010 11:28

Shops sell swimsuits because they make money selling things. They also sell loo roll coverlets and pretty doilies - it does not make them necessities!

Heracles · 09/09/2010 12:12

"You are lucky then Heracles aren't you."

Being rational isn't down to luck.

amberleaf · 09/09/2010 12:50

No but never having 'come across it' is.

2old4thislark · 09/09/2010 13:45

If they are considered necessary for a public swimming pool then what's the difference for the beach?

hotcrossbunny · 09/09/2010 14:09

I think it sounds lovely. No problem at all with naked kiddies. Am Sad so many people are against it tbh.

choufleur · 09/09/2010 14:20

I've done one small piece of work and have another lined up.

choufleur · 09/09/2010 14:21

Cos the people who own the pools say so. No-one says so at the beach. Same way in France at most pools men have to wear speedoes.

prettybird · 09/09/2010 14:22

I think formerdiva's post of 10:34 today is spot on. :)

2old4thislark · 09/09/2010 14:53

choufleur I know it the rules at public pools - I'm not that thick.

It is either a rule for 'health and safety' or because nobody want to see nakedness. Or maybe both. But it suggests that covering up in public is what is expected and accepted by the majority.

As for shops selling kids swimsuits for profit - of course they do! But they do because there is a demand for them. By parents who want to cover there children.

WoodyAllen · 09/09/2010 15:17

Skyline Drifter - it's not modern to let your kids round around naked. I was a child in the 70's and we were all naked all the time. Much more than now. So maybe it was groovy. But certainly not modern. Some of us are just freer spirits than others. Peace and Love.