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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be concerned about emptyshell?

57 replies

ledkr · 04/09/2010 22:28

Has anyone managed to contact her? she was in a bad way last time she posted and was talking about ending it. don't know her but it stuck in my mind.

OP posts:
grapeandlemon · 05/09/2010 18:44

Gosh I wasn't starting a war with you at all I just read your post and felt sorry for you. I don't know you but I noticed your post said something about ending it all and I was concerned . Sorry probably shouldn't have posted on the thread.

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 05/09/2010 18:50

emptyshell, just re-read and its entirely likely that you have a tilted uterus, which does make accurate scanning much harder. I have one and have had to prop my bum up with pillows and tilt to one side whenever i have the dubious pleasure of a dildocam. when do you go back?

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/09/2010 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 05/09/2010 18:57

also wanted to say, if you are still lurking and would like to talk offboard my email is

lissie _ g78 @ yahoo . co . uk

(minus spaces)

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 05/09/2010 19:01

SGM, really? well you learn something new everyday.

i know that DI doesn't have any dc's and loads of the owd timers from the conception boards.

BettySuarez · 05/09/2010 19:06

emptyshell, I cannot belive that anyone would say that Mumsnet is just a place for mums. If so, then I am deeply deeply sorry that you had to hear that.

You have clearly been through hell and back and I simply don't know what to say to make any of this better for you.

Maybe in a few years from now, you will have a child of your own. But maybe not. I just hope that whatever happens, you mange to come to terms with whatever it is you have to face Sad

I am really sorry that no-one has been able to help you Sad

Morloth · 05/09/2010 19:11

Who said Mumsnet is just for Mums? There are stacks of childfree types about.

sanielle · 05/09/2010 19:14

"Like someone so charmingly said - mumsnet is a place for mums and this was the final kick in the teeth I prob won't ever be one "
Shock

Who the fuck said that to you? Did you report them Emptyshell. I hope so!
Glad to see that you are still with us, if not OK. :( I hope you get some answers soon xx

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/09/2010 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saladbomb · 05/09/2010 19:15

empty I know you must be hurting very much right now, it is an awful situation to be in and for someone to say that to you on another thread was very harsh, although I don't know the circumstances its not really excusable either way. But as I said on the Charting thread the majority of people on here DO NOT think like that, whether they have children or not. Many of us don't have children especially in the conception threads, many of us are trying to have them and many of us feel like we are failing. If you can get past the comments that one insensitive person made then you will find a lot of support with what you are going thru here. I really hope you can do that.

CrunchyFrog · 05/09/2010 19:16

I'm really sorry you are in so much pain, emptyshell. x

newstart2010 · 05/09/2010 19:25

I agree with the other that said mumsnet is not just for mums, sorry to hear that some people on here have told you that you cannot post on here.

I have found alot of support on mumsnet for lots of different things and think that you should post on here as much as you like, as there maybe some people with horrible comments but there will also be so many supportive comments too...

Sorry that things have been so hard for you. x

Lulumaam · 05/09/2010 19:34

emptyshell, i am so sorry that you are going through this

who the hell said oyu are not welcome here?

MN has plenty of people who are not parents - look at the conception boards for a start

there are people who post on here as they work with children ,or are devoted aunties etc who want more advice

don't feel pushed out

i imagine oyu are not thinking quite straight with all the upset going on

Original poster
ledkr · 05/09/2010 19:40

Empty. So glad you posted. Most people on here really do care and the few who were vile don't matter.
I read your posts and they stayed in my head and I have felt generally upset for you since. I'm sure other will agree that I have never felt such intense pain portrayed in words. I cant believe you are still going thru this and with so much uncertainty and dare I suggest a little hope too. please don't feel you can't come on here look how many people posted in response. I have read stories on mn about things people face and cannot believe how they keep going.
Keep talking at least it will pass the time until you get some answers.

OP posts:
TheUnmentioned · 05/09/2010 19:46

I just want to post because I want you to know that if someone said you werent welcome here they were wrong, someone with that attitude should not be here.

I dont have any practical advice for you unfortunately, I do wish I oculd wave a magic wand for you. The waiting alone must be unbearable.

I just hope you know that people are thinking of you fondly but that youre obviously feeling very upset at the moment and maybe not realising. There are a lot of people here rooting for you, I know that it probably sounds airy fairy when you want cold hard science to sort this out but its the best I can think to say.

Take care.

chipmonkey · 05/09/2010 19:51

Emptyshell, I am very glad to see you posting again.

Several of us were very worried about you after your other thread and I really don't think anyone on this thread was showing anything but concern for you.

Who told you you weren't welcome here? Anyone who has been here for half an hour will know that there are loads of people on MN with no dc's, some through choice and some who are ttc, so for someone to say that is ridiculour.

And there are some, like TLOTGK, who are lovely, lovely people who have been through the same pain as you are going through.

It must be gutting for you to have this happen to you now, when you have finally got a BFP. I really do feel for you.

Please, feel free to come back and post if you feel able to.

nomoretablets · 05/09/2010 20:02

Hi emptyshell

Of course mumsnet is a place for you for as long as you want it to be.

I had 5 years of fertility treatment, the details of which I won't bore you with, but fertilityfriends website stopped me from going completely mad, lots of very helpful support on there. Be warned though - they do have tickers...

As for all that 'barren witch' stuff, I have said all the same things about myself, but it does you no good, it's just another way to kick yourself in the teeth cos you are angry and it is not fair. I will say it for you, it is not fucking fair. So try to be fair on yourself and give yourself a break, take each day, each second, as it comes, try to sleep and eat and breathe and do all the other things that once seemed so easy. CAT me if you want to.

Sending you

Kaloki · 05/09/2010 20:15

empty take care of yourself, you've had a rough time. Only leave if that's what you want. As another childless member I'd like for you to stay here and keep talking to us. I know it wont change anything, but sometimes just having people to talk to eases the pain.

tholeon · 05/09/2010 20:23

hi emptyshell

I too got a lot of support from the fertility friends website (www.fertilityfriends.co.uk) - lots of tickers etc but also lots of people who will understand what you are feeling, which is true grief. Please continue to post here though - most people mean to be supportive I am sure even if one or two say stupid and nasty things. all the best to you xx.

Itsonme · 05/09/2010 20:44

Emptyshell, I really think you need some form of extra help with your grief. There is no 'normal' with grief, but your feelings/anger seem very extreme.

I have been where you are now with scan after scan, no answers etc, so I fully understand how devastating it is. I was able to function though, go to work, go out etc. If you feel so bad that you can't do these things, you should consider further support.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

maryz · 05/09/2010 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesecondcoming · 05/09/2010 21:48

This reply has been deleted

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Jaybird37 · 05/09/2010 21:54

Empty, thanks for posting again. Just wanted to say how sorry I was to read your story.

I cannot imagine how you are feeling, so I won't pretend I do, but I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

Cartoose · 05/09/2010 22:13

Empty, I hope you come back when (or if) you feel up to it. There are many, many good people on here that vastly outweigh the bad.

I hope you have real life support. I'm so sorry for what's happening to you.

Lougle · 05/09/2010 22:27

Emptyshell, I just want to say that I have read your posts on this thread, and you sound nothing other than desparately distressed. I can't imagine being in that limbo. I do hope that you get resolution quickly, and that the waiting was for the best reasons. I hope you get to be a Mum soon, not because you aren't worth anything if you don't, but because it is your hearts desire

Someone owes you an apology, too. I hope they are brave enough to give you one.