in noticing that other IPOAT Johnny husband incarnations are better than mine?

[Hullygully]

Huh.

I am SICK of worrying...I woke up at three this morning and thought about dd's friends absolutely madly and obsessively for an hour and a half. Insanity. No wonder wine is my best friend.

it is hideous isn't it. We can be completely rational about our own issues but when we worry about our childrens happiness we become a bit unhinged.
Yet my schooling was torrid - hideous, yet I turned out allright

Hey gibb. kiss the giblet for me

Hey Paggy, yes, and even though one knows it's completely irrational, still one obsesses.

I had very hot feet as well.

Another symptom is the unreasonable desire to go and shout really loudly at other peoples mean children

She is pretty sensible though isn't she, your DD. Is she able to distance herself or is it getting her down?

DS1 couldn't cope for a while, started believing how other people saw him until he got all 'fuck em' and cool at about 14. But he had crazy brother weirdoness thrown at him.

Thankfully there isn't meanness at the mo, it's more a stressful attempt to keep up with it all and all the intense friendship groups (which she isn't really interested in but can't bear to be left out of). I dread sleep overs because she gets bored and I have to entertain with the help of Ms Grape.

Has ds1 chosen a uni? how doth ds2 at the residential?

I would like to go and live far away with no other children, but then they'd hate that. Bastards. Perhaps I'll just go and live very far away on my own.

you could do a kind of web cam parenting thing. You and Ms Grape. I think my Dcs would like that. Parenting downloads

Girls are full on arn't they? DD seems to be a queen Bee which is really weird for me. I am used to nurturing sad losers and that is my field of expertise

DS1 is going to try the Oxbridge thingy and his school are hopeful as he apparently 'shines' in that enviroment.
I think what they mean is that he does better in small groups and is less inclined to hide his light under a bushel. He is stonkingly good at English though - writes beautifully and interested in all sorts. we'll see.

he is listing Oxford, Warwick, Exeter, Nottingham - I think that is his top selection - so should all be good whatever happens.

He did his work exp on a national paper and got a by line which was really cool. He now deperately wants to be a reporter

DS2 residential is all finished. He is very happy

sorry - rambling

Good for him! English is My Thing. Journalism is a good idea - I have worked thusly (tho lowly)and it is great great fun. Is he keeping contacts with the paper? Tis all about contacts as I'm sure you know...

Is ds2 full time back at home?

I don't think I know how to nurture anything any more - even the plants are droopy and sad. But it will all pass, of course.

poor Hully with sad droopiness all around.

yes to the contacts. we sent champagne ( Pag , never afraid to buy peoples affection)

DS2 homey home. I am replete with snogs. I could send him to you on a happiness loan type arrangement. he is gorgeous

Quite right, Pag. I have always been a firm believer in throwing money at things. Champagne never goes amiss.

I shall expect him poste haste. Sadly you will get dd.

Where are you all? I have decided to pope up the threads in the name of all that is highest.

Praise be.

I am covered in sick. Benedictus in vomitus. Probably.

Who is Ms Grape?

I am also working up a very nice Cold Fury at DH who has refused to come home from a night out drinking in anticipation of further vomit.

In nomine fuckwit et arseface et imminent orchidectimus.

we worship at the alter of Ms Grape. She is our friend and confidant. But sometimes she makes us boak in Gods big white telephone.

Sorry I have missed you all, been a manic few days.

The highlight was visiting DH's lovely eccentric Great Aunts (used to be 7 of them that lived in their house now sadly 2)

We usually pop in when we visit my parents.

So they give a present to DD1 who's birthday it was a couple of weeks ago. They always remember and I am so touched they do, so thoughtful. The presents can be odd but always harmless.

I am sat, feeding DD2 and DD1 is next to me, lovely Aunt hands DD1 a bag. I glance in and think 'oohh that cuddly toy has authentic looking fur'

As DD1 starts to pull the toy out of the bag it becomes apparent said toy is in fact a very old, very smelly, and quite frankly a terrifying looking real fur fox stole. It looked like this only in a far worse state. DH summed it up nicely when he said it looked like road kill.

Soooo DD1 cried out and dropped it when she saw its head, before I could stop myself I was saying 'Dear God! don't touch it!' (it seriously stank and was filthy) and then I started to retch and nearly dropped DD2.

Needless to say we released the fox to the wild.

Hope everyone else is well and had a super weekend. MWAH to one and all.

That's the abridged version btw. Could have given word by word account. Whole thing was so traumatic have commited it to memory.

Did someone say they were throwing money at things?

[stands with large net]

Hey Gibbster! My Nan used to have similar dead fox abomination. It lived in a big bag in the hallway cupboard, and I was terrified of it. I wonder what on Earth possessed the Great Aunts to think DD1 would want it?

I wish I knew widow...they were laughing away, slapping their thighs while DD1 covering her eyes and I tried hard not to vomit

Great Aunt gave me a playful prod and said 'is it because you won't eat anything with a face? (am veggie) awwww it's perfect for DD1's bed'

It had bloody claws and everything. And a misshapen nose.

Hello Posie

Look out Posie. You'll end up with a rancid fox fur in your net if you're not careful.

widow

The Robin is in The Gazebo.

The robin's breast is red, repeat, red. 10-4.

(the jig is not a signal but a spontaneous out pouring of joy)